In Praise of SAHMs

[madsommer]

Anyone reading Dr. Laura's new book, "In Praise of Stay at Home Moms". I know she's not the most popular because of some of her views, but I really like her and I think she says a lot of really good things - things that people sometimes don't want to hear.

Anywho, the book is really good and all about reaffirming that staying at home with your children is the right thing to do...that we truly do have the most important job on earth. I think it's just a good book to read as a pick me up, especially if you're feeling like you're at your wits end.

[pauletoy]

I saw her on the Today Show this morning. I am a SAHM have been for 3 years and will be until my kids are grown but I found her to be terribly offensive to working parents. Just because a mother works outside the home, doesn't mean she is selfish.

That said, I would be interested in reading some of her ideas but will have to wait until our local library gets it.

[newbymom05]

Interesting, and interesting that she portrayed WOHM as selfish. (Didn't see it myself). I'm guessing it's more schtick to sell books, but at least SAHMs aren't the ones getting slammed!

Mommy Wars--always guaranteed to boost ratings.

But thanks, OP, I'll look for it too.

[madsommer]

Originally Posted by pauletoy

I saw her on the Today Show this morning. I am a SAHM have been for 3 years and will be until my kids are grown but I found her to be terribly offensive to working parents. Just because a mother works outside the home, doesn't mean she is selfish.

That said, I would be interested in reading some of her ideas but will have to wait until our local library gets it.

It's partially for ratings I'm sure, but what she says in the book is that we've been brainwashed to believe that women can do it all without sacrificing the family or that family is not as important as having a "career"...that this time in the child's life is so brief and that it's worth the financial sacrifice to be a loving and supportive mother to your child(ren). But I also, that in these tough economic times it can be really really tough to survive on one income.

Again, some of her views are controversial, but I think you have to go back and read her other books about marriage and family to get a better understanding of her ideologies.

[pauletoy]

Here's the interview:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/261848...53181#30153181


The part that I found most offensive were comments she made about single mothers and poor choices that led to "not having a daddy around". She definately seems to use the shock factor for ratings.

I don't think all of her ideas are bad, actually when she was just talking about the book, it sounded very interesting. Then Hoda and Kathie Lee had to go and ask her questions.

[cappuccinosmom]

I'm looking forward to getting the book from the library.

I don't agree with her on everything. She'd probably call me stupid for marrying at 19 after a 2 year long-distance courtship and not ever using birth control or going to college. However, she's one of the few public voices telling me that my being at home is a very,very,very good thing for my kids and that it is highly valuable and important. So, that, I appreciate.

[phathui5]

I'd like to read the book when it gets to our library.

[To-Fu]

I haven't read it and probably won't, but I'm wondering if she talks about how it's best for kids to have one parent at home, or if she specifically takes for granted that it should be the mom.

[cappuccinosmom]

I haven't read it and probably won't, but I'm wondering if she talks about how it's best for kids to have one parent at home, or if she specifically takes for granted that it should be the mom.

Her big thing is that children are cared for by one of their own parents. She does say for biological reasons she thinks that should normally be mom for the first couple of years.

She's not opposed to women working in a general sense, in or out of the home. She just thinks biologically babies need their mamas, and that it's best for a family if one parent can be home making the home and available to the children.

[JamesMama]

Hmmm, I guess it serves to balance out the whole "Look at you! Wasting your life! Wasting your education! What kind of role model are you giving your daughters?" or the "I couldn't EVER be dependent on my spouse!!" that I do get from people, even though I am PT WOH (My kids are not in day care, while I work 20-30 hours a week my kids are with their dad, and on M-F I'm home about an hour after they roll out of bed)...and we're TTC so once I get pregnant I will be at home once the baby is born, bf'ing and all that...I don't wanna have to pump. LOL

But I do understand that other families aren't as blessed as I am to truly have the best of both worlds, I can work part time while my hubby works full time and make extra money that we need with our current situation (see siggy, DH is facing MAJOR surgery this summer) and I don't have to worry about finding safe/good daycare because they are home with Daddy...which they LOVE BTW...my kids adore their time with Daddy, and Daddy adores the one-on-one time with the kiddos

[madsommer]

Here's a link to the WSJ article in case interested: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123913529589098057.html

[zinemama]

I'd prefer not to be praised by Dr. Laura. Makes me feel squicky.

[amitymama]

You can praise one group without slamming another. Dr. Laura does not manage to do that. Instead, she uses it as an excuse to cram 'family values' down our throats, where mom is the center of the children's lives (and vice versa) and the father is just a blurry figure somewhere in the background, earning money and 'babysitting'. Blech, no thanks!

[Treasuremapper]

I feel very weird about Dr. Laura. But let's note that most of the articles written about the socalled mommy wars are written by professional journalists, not actual SAHMs, for obvious reasons.

[madsommer]

Sorry, I didn't mean to open up a can of worms about Dr. Laura. I just noticed that this forum is usually pretty negative in tone and thought it might make some women feel better about their choice to stay at home with their children.

[madsommer]

Originally Posted by amitymama

You can praise one group without slamming another. Dr. Laura does not manage to do that. Instead, she uses it as an excuse to cram 'family values' down our throats, where mom is the center of the children's lives (and vice versa) and the father is just a blurry figure somewhere in the background, earning money and 'babysitting'. Blech, no thanks!

I don't think she slams mothers who choose to work outside the home - in fact, she continued to work and raise her own child...working her work schedule around her child. She doesn't say that there's anything wrong with a working mother - just that they should prioritize their family first. She also doesn't disregard the father - simply states that she believes for bio reasons that the mother is the best choice for the first few years of life.

[sunflower.mama]

Originally Posted by madsommer

I don't think she slams mothers who choose to work outside the home - in fact, she continued to work and raise her own child...working her work schedule around her child. She doesn't say that there's anything wrong with a working mother - just that they should prioritize their family first. She also doesn't disregard the father - simply states that she believes for bio reasons that the mother is the best choice for the first few years of life.

Actually she says right off that if the family gets health insurance from mom's job, dad should stay at home. She says that a child needs their parent, that's all. Not a Dr. Laura fan myself, so I am leaving it at that.

[kay4]

Heard about this book and can't wait to read it, love Dr. Laura, she is awesome!

[kay4]

just read that she is having a movie coming out??? I am going to try and go see it. It's may 5 and 6th..

[madsommer]

Originally Posted by kay4

just read that she is having a movie coming out??? I am going to try and go see it. It's may 5 and 6th..

it's some special type of mother's day thing right? i just went to the site - they are showing it near me! if i can spare the extra dollars i may try to go see it! did you have a chance to get the book yet?