How to explain Resurrection Day to my (non-Christian) toddler

[nolonger]

I'm not a fan of secular Easter so we're just skipping the egg hunts (we're vegan) and candy (we have dental issues) and stuffed bunnies (we're downsizing and decluttering and don't need more toys) easily enough but I want ds to respect spiritual diversity and he's going to start asking questions next year.

I was raised in a "we go to church because that's a good place to meet the better families in town" kind of situation and I STILL got confused and wondered why people were celebrating killing Jesus. I'm a pacifist and I want to postpone talking about Christ's Passion for the same reason I want to postpone talking about war.

I'd appreciate advice from both Christians and non-Christians, but please don't try to convert me. btdt and you really don't want to hear me talking about it.

ds is 14 months old. Some of my thoughts for next year:

"The stores always sell that stuff this time of year. Next week it will be cheaper so maybe we'll get it then if you still want it."

"That's on a Sunday so we have to help Foster Gramma instead but maybe Auntie Kaitlin can take you on a REAL treasure hunt for her chickens' eggs the next time we visit her."

"His family practices the Christian religion so it's a special holiday for them next week."

"Everybody is so happy because it's spring!"

"It has to do with death and rebirth and metamorphoses like butterflies and a man named Jesus and you'll understand it when you're a bit older."

GAAAAH!!!! I'm sure I can do better than that! Um....Help????

[Bluegoat]

I think just saying that Christians are celebrating because of their religion would be fine, if that's the level he is at. Say you don't celebrate because you aren't a Christian.

As he gets older, if it comes up, I'd try to be accurate about what the holiday means for Christians. Some things I have found useful are "Sometimes people hurt each other when they are angry or scared. It's wrong, but we all do this sometimes. That is why the people hurt Jesus." You could probably use that even from a non-Christian standpoint, or you could just say that is what Christians believe. I think it is a useful way to talk about violence with kids because they understand those feelings and have to deal with them, and it seems to me they are in many ways the root causes of war.

It would probably be accurate to say that Christians believe that Jesus gave his life to save others, and that they believe that God raised Jesus from the dead because he gave himself completely selflessly for others.

[hrsmom]

Hi NOS, I am trying to figure this out myself. Maybe I'll have something by next year. I like the "it's a special holiday for Christians" (for the time being, we attend a Christian church, and I'm not sure how to explain it to my dd since my beliefs differ from those taught from the pulpit)

Don't be surprised if I try to engage you in a discussion one of these days, I'm doing a lot of questioning and exploring lately!

[lilyka]

We are not celebrating his brutal death. we celebrate his ressurection. at our church as we walk through the passion of Christ is a very solomn and somber affair. the is no celebration about it. the party doesn't start until we get to the ressurection.

a good way to explain it was once upon a time there was a guy named Jesus and he died (if you are not ready to talk about death yet you can just go with "went away" or got "had to go somewhere else for a while and do some important work") and his friends were sad and missed him. they loved him very much. But God (or his Daddy) brought him back and that made his friends so happy and they throw a party to remember how happy they were every year.

just like every holiday there are treats and things people sell to make lots of money. (if you are inclined to pick just one treat. . . . this might be an ok time to do.) They don't really have anything to do with tyhe Holy celebrations. they are more to celebrate spring.

would there be a way to hide a little treat out in the chicken coop? that way he could find a golden egg as he is helping to search for real eggs. playdo in a easter egg is our big prize around here. also cheddar bunnies were big when my kids were that age.

[Calidris]

He will be barely 2 next year. I didn't START to try to explain religion to DD til she was past 3, so I wouldn't worry too much about the religious side of things. With regards the actual Easter hype, mention it as a spring festival, eggs for birth etc. I assume you will still be avoiding excess toys and commercialism then, so it will probably mesh well with whatever reason you will be giving him to not buy the latest Diego toy or whatever.

[nolonger]

Thank you so much, everyone, and I'm glad I was right that MDC is one of the few places where I could ask my question without offending anyone or causing people of different beliefs to hurt each other. I guess we're all constantly growing no matter what faith we practice.

With my older kids, I just went with a "default" of Easter baskets waiting for them when they woke up, candy eggs hidden around the house (I never wanted to do 'community" egg hunts and didn't really remember why until another thread jogged my memory about negative experiences in my own childhood) andf then opening wrapped presents from Grandmom, which -contained very beautiful (but not really necessary) dress-uip clothes.

The kids kind of lost interest in secular Easter and phased it out on their own by the time of my brief but intense flirtation with Christianity. I feel a lot of sadness about the mistakes i made at that time in my life and the pain my gullibility has caused Jeanita and Christopher, but i did come away from it with something too special to shrink back down into something that could fit into a plastic egg again.

Calidris, you're probably right that I have another "free pass" next year before Terran starts asking questions and that I'm really overthinking things. His adopted grandmother is a JW who doesn't celebrate holidays, so it may not even seem "weird" to him or require any explanation at all.

Happy Easter, Ostara, Seder, and Resurrection Day, mamas!

[Ellien C]

We talk about the resurrection - or in metaphysical speak - the ability to re-invent or change yourself. The idea of manifesting or bringing forth happiness and light, especially out of darkness. Our lessons around this time usually have a lot to do with transformation. That ties into the whole idea of spring and life as well.

[Daisie125]

You may run into this question even later than you think. DS is 3 and has asked nothing, I was all armed and ready, and not one question

[nolonger]

Originally Posted by Ellien C

We talk about the resurrection - or in metaphysical speak - the ability to re-invent or change yourself. The idea of manifesting or bringing forth happiness and light, especially out of darkness. Our lessons around this time usually have a lot to do with transformation. That ties into the whole idea of spring and life as well.

THAT'S what I want to give my little boy and why I can't even bring myself to call it "Easter" again!

[lalaland42]

DD just turned 4 and hasn't asked. We did egg hunts with friends and I told her it was a fun activity to do with friends. Other religious stuff I have told her that X believes something we don't. I just leave the details for when she is a little older because 3/4 is too young to understand the details IMO.

[chaoticzenmom]

In the UU sermon today, the minister explained resurrection as letting go of the things that hold you back and becoming someone new. In order to become the person that you want to be, you have to let part of you die. That part is the addictions, or negative feelings, or whatever has to die in order for you to become more alive within. She talked about the story of Jesus and how spring is a resurrection because what appeared dead comes back to life and flourishes again.

If you'd like to hear it, it might be on the euuc.org website. It's not Christian.

[wombatclay]

Our UU sermon yesterday could be summed up in "we grow/change/expand by facing challenges". While Jesus was mentioned, the actual focus was mostly on the "Lord is my shepherd" psalm and how you start as a sheep but (by facing and overcoming the challenges of life) you grow into a person. And there was plenty of non-christian imagery used too since our UU community isn't really very christian oriented (more buddhist, humanist, pagan actually).

My dd1 is 4, dd2 is two. With dd1 I waited for her questions and answered as openly as possible. Last week she learned about Passover in her religious ed class, yesterday they did a pagan inspired Ostara spiral dance (we are pagan and celebrated Ostara a week or so ago), and her grandparents offered a traditional Roman Catholic and easter basket approach. So the questions were all over the place!

DD2 didn't have any questions of her own, and didn't seem too interested in what her sister was talking about.

I hope this year wasn't too angst-filled, but it's probably a good idea to sit down with a calendar and think about which seasons/dates are likely to have very visible traditions that may prompt questions. Then you can sort of plan out how you'd like the handle questions in advance. I've found that for me/my family it's easier to talk about what we believe/celebrate in a specific season than to constantly say things like "so and so does X but we don't". So for example, I talked with dd1 about how we celebrate the changes and magic of re-birth (at Ostara) and then when she asked about her grandparents I was able to compare what they do (in very general terms) with what we do. We both celebrate growing and re-birth by facing challenges (the butterfly pushing out into the light, the seed growing up towards the sun, the man going through with something he knows isn't going to be "fun" but which is necessary to help his friends, etc).

I'm sure dd1 is going to come out with some real doozies of questions pretty soon, but so far this has worked for us.

[transformed]

I am sort of on again/off again with Christianity and at the moment I am off again - and probably not planning on going back to the evangelical sort. (I do believe Jesus was a great teacher but thats where it ends)

My in laws are devout catholic though and when we went to visit for easter this is the dialogue I heard. I am both amused and horrified. Mostly amused. LOL.

MIL and FIL: "Easter is a really special day do you know why?"
DS 5.5 yrs old: "Because we get candy?"
FIL and MIL: "Because its the day that JESUS DIED!" (insert : smiley.)

That is it. from people who had been teaching sunday school all their lives.

I cant help it. It was just a really funny exchange I can only imagine what my ds thought. LOL. (and my 3 yr old. Who now plays "dead and alive" whatever the heck that is.)

I dont "correct" anyone because I too am cool with my kids being exposed to all kinds of beliefs. I trust if this keeps going on they are not going to be "sold" on Catholisism.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by chaoticzenmom

In the UU sermon today, the minister explained resurrection as letting go of the things that hold you back and becoming someone new. In order to become the person that you want to be, you have to let part of you die. That part is the addictions, or negative feelings, or whatever has to die in order for you to become more alive within. She talked about the story of Jesus and how spring is a resurrection because what appeared dead comes back to life and flourishes again.

If you'd like to hear it, it might be on the euuc.org website. It's not Christian.

wow that sounds great. I would like to hear that. (But honestly just your description is pretty much enough for me! )