Anyone scribbling out a list of reminders for partners / labor support?
This is my husband's first child, too, and he's a bit nervous, and doesn't quite know what to expect. So I just wrote down on one sheet of paper, for him to look over in the meantime and get comfortable with. I'm not putting anything medical in there because my mom will be there to help me with things like refusing an IV, keeping them from doing any unnecessary intervention, dealing with the hospital staff in general-- my husband is just responsible for making me comfortable (and, if it isn't obvious from the text, we're doing lamaze for labor). I don't want to make it too long, because the big thing is for him to remember the important stuff... Anyone else doing a similar cheat sheet? Any ideas?
--The #1 most important thing: I have to stay relaxed. During contractions, your most important job is to make sure my body isn't tensing up. Even if I want to tense up, don't let me. Make me relax even if I get bitchy about it.
--During contractions:
1) Check my breathing. If I'm having a lot of difficulty, do the breathing yourself, making eye contact, so that I can imitate you.
2) Count of 15-second intervals to give me a sense of progress, unless I ask you not to.
3) Check with your hands to make sure I'm relaxed. Touch shoulders, arms, neck, back, legs. Make eye contact. Tell me to relax. Remind me to relax the muscles in my face.
--I'll try to tell you or indicate what I want. At some point, it's possible that I'll tell you not to touch me. If so, keep watching my face/shoulders/arms and if I seem to be tensing, tell me to relax. Unless I tell you not to touch me, keep touching me.
--Make sure I stay hydrated. I'll have packed drinks, suckers, chapstick-- remind me of this. The hospital will provide ice chips. Encourage me between contractions to drink water.
--If I seem frustrated, ask me if I want to change position. Encourage me to move and walk as much as possible. Walking during labor is VERY good for me, even if I'm hesitant.
--If I ask for drugs, ask me if I'm sure BETWEEN contractions. If I still say I want it, get a nurse to check my dilation. If I'm 7 or higher, remind me that there is no point to epidural-- it will be over before the drug starts working.
--Don't let me push until I'm fully dilated to 10. It isn't good for me or the baby, so this is important. If I say I need to push (or need to poo) get the nurse to check me right away. Make me blow out-- I can't push while blowing.
--After the baby is born, stick to her. Mom will stay with me, you go with the baby. They can't take her anywhere out of your sight, even if they say they want to or say it's policy, so don't let them.
This is my husband's first child, too, and he's a bit nervous, and doesn't quite know what to expect. So I just wrote down on one sheet of paper, for him to look over in the meantime and get comfortable with. I'm not putting anything medical in there because my mom will be there to help me with things like refusing an IV, keeping them from doing any unnecessary intervention, dealing with the hospital staff in general-- my husband is just responsible for making me comfortable (and, if it isn't obvious from the text, we're doing lamaze for labor). I don't want to make it too long, because the big thing is for him to remember the important stuff... Anyone else doing a similar cheat sheet? Any ideas?
--The #1 most important thing: I have to stay relaxed. During contractions, your most important job is to make sure my body isn't tensing up. Even if I want to tense up, don't let me. Make me relax even if I get bitchy about it.
--During contractions:
1) Check my breathing. If I'm having a lot of difficulty, do the breathing yourself, making eye contact, so that I can imitate you.
2) Count of 15-second intervals to give me a sense of progress, unless I ask you not to.
3) Check with your hands to make sure I'm relaxed. Touch shoulders, arms, neck, back, legs. Make eye contact. Tell me to relax. Remind me to relax the muscles in my face.
--I'll try to tell you or indicate what I want. At some point, it's possible that I'll tell you not to touch me. If so, keep watching my face/shoulders/arms and if I seem to be tensing, tell me to relax. Unless I tell you not to touch me, keep touching me.
--Make sure I stay hydrated. I'll have packed drinks, suckers, chapstick-- remind me of this. The hospital will provide ice chips. Encourage me between contractions to drink water.
--If I seem frustrated, ask me if I want to change position. Encourage me to move and walk as much as possible. Walking during labor is VERY good for me, even if I'm hesitant.
--If I ask for drugs, ask me if I'm sure BETWEEN contractions. If I still say I want it, get a nurse to check my dilation. If I'm 7 or higher, remind me that there is no point to epidural-- it will be over before the drug starts working.
--Don't let me push until I'm fully dilated to 10. It isn't good for me or the baby, so this is important. If I say I need to push (or need to poo) get the nurse to check me right away. Make me blow out-- I can't push while blowing.
--After the baby is born, stick to her. Mom will stay with me, you go with the baby. They can't take her anywhere out of your sight, even if they say they want to or say it's policy, so don't let them.
That's a whole 'nother issue. All the more reason to succeed with my VBAC, eh? 
