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my mother cut my ds's hair

post #1 of 37
Thread Starter 


Yesterday my mother cut ds's hair (hes 4). She was babysitting the kids and did it without even asking!! Just his sideburns but it looks awful. Needless to say we got into a huge arguement over it...

Am I wrong for being upset?


(update post #37)
post #2 of 37
no you are not wrong to be upset. i would be livid if someone cut my kids hair without asking me.
post #3 of 37
I would be very upset. One day when my ds was about 1 yo I was going out with a friend and as we left he casually mentioned that he was going to trim ds hair. I freaked. If dh did it I would have still been upset but at least it would have been a parental decision. That said whats done is done, I hope it grows quickly! She should apologize and let you know she won't do it again with out permission.
post #4 of 37
Did she know that was something she shouldn't have done? Even if she didn't, that's not one of the things I'd do without asking the parents. But I do have some friends who honestly don't care and their kids get haircuts by their grandparents fairly often.

My parents/inlaws would never, but we've made it perfectly clear that we do not want our son's hair cut (he's almost 3 and hasn't had a haircut yet, so we hear about it alot). My mother would love to take him for a cut, but she wouldn't because of how I feel about it.
post #5 of 37
Did she ask your ds?
post #6 of 37
Yep, that crosses a line. She should know that.
post #7 of 37
It's happened to me and I was livid.

It's a family tradition to leave a baby's hair alone until the baby's a year old. My XH didn't like it because it thought it would turn DS into a sissy - how long can a baby's hair get in the first year of it's life, it's not like he could sit on it. He waited until the day after his birthday and then took a pair of clippers to him. He shaved him almost completely bald!

Foolishly, two months later, I allowed him an hour unsupervised in town (we were seperated and I was waiting in a cafe for them). DS came back with his ear pierced. Because that's not efeminate at all!

He has never been allowed unsupervised access again!

The only other time that DS has had his haircut without my position is when my mother came to stay during the birth of DD. She took it upon herself to cut his almost shoulder-length, thick, wavy hair into an awful putting bowl shape. I was horrified. C-section or no c-section, I took him to the barbers that afternoon. Letting him have a mohecan soon stopped his tears nad wound my mother up for good measure!
post #8 of 37
I would be beyond livid!
post #9 of 37
: OH....MY....GOODNESS......

I would absolutely be so mad that I would not know what to do....
post #10 of 37
:
post #11 of 37
I would be livid. Did she have anything she thought was a good reason?
post #12 of 37
You certainly deserve to be upset but you probably shouldn't have gotten into an arguement unless she did it specifically to upset you or if you have a relgious reason for not cutting it and she knew about it.

She probably thought that she was doing you a favor. If it wasn't malicious apologize for your overreaction and get on with your life. It will grow back!
post #13 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by geiamama View Post
Foolishly, two months later, I allowed him an hour unsupervised in town (we were seperated and I was waiting in a cafe for them). DS came back with his ear pierced. Because that's not efeminate at all!

He has never been allowed unsupervised access again!
OT here but you seriously have not allowed your son and his father any unsupervised visits because he had you DS's ear pierced? While I understand how that could be upsetting your reaction seems a bit extreme.
post #14 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
You certainly deserve to be upset but you probably shouldn't have gotten into an arguement unless she did it specifically to upset you or if you have a relgious reason for not cutting it and she knew about it.

She probably thought that she was doing you a favor. If it wasn't malicious apologize for your overreaction and get on with your life. It will grow back!

I agree - I doubt she did this to upset you. I would apologize for yelling and then move on - his hair will grow back in no time!
post #15 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
You certainly deserve to be upset but you probably shouldn't have gotten into an arguement unless she did it specifically to upset you or if you have a relgious reason for not cutting it and she knew about it.

She probably thought that she was doing you a favor. If it wasn't malicious apologize for your overreaction and get on with your life. It will grow back!
I dunno, I dont' think getting angry over something like that is an over reaction. I think it's clearly overstepping boundaries, and I would think someone getting angry at you might be the natural consequences of doing something like that.
post #16 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
I agree - I doubt she did this to upset you. I would apologize for yelling and then move on - his hair will grow back in no time!

Did the OP say she yelled?
post #17 of 37
I would be upset too. You should've had argued, just stated that you were noy happy with what she had doen and left it at that. My Mom won't even cut even with permission.
post #18 of 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
OT here but you seriously have not allowed your son and his father any unsupervised visits because he had you DS's ear pierced? While I understand how that could be upsetting your reaction seems a bit extreme.
It was the second time he had seen him since he was born, which added to the first visit totaled two whole hours of interest since finding out I was pregnant, and he was only 14 mths old.
post #19 of 37
Well, to be honest, my mom cut DD's bangs when we left her overnight with them this weekend, and I really couldn't care less. I suppose I'd be upset if she'd changed the actual hairstyle, though. Still, unless she has a history of passive-aggressiveness or crossing boundaries, I think I would forgive and move on...
post #20 of 37
I would be furious over it. She had no right to do that. You are his mother not her. I dont know what gets into people that makes them feel they can go against a parents wishes. Sounds like something my ex MIL would do.
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