I think DS might be "spirited"

[famousmockngbrd]

Bear with me while I ask a stupid question - how can you tell if your child is "spirited" or strong-willed? Can someone explain to me the difference between "normal" behavior for a 14 month old and spirited behavior?

Cole is very sweet and gentle. He is also very inquisitive and active. He is not easily distracted when he has his mind set on something, which makes my job very challenging sometimes. He was an early walker and now likes to climb on everything. He uses about 10 words and will try to imitate almost anything you say if you ask him to. The thing about Cole is that he is overall a pretty easy going kid, but if he wants to explore the neighbor's yard/dump out the cats' food/press all the buttons on the remote, etc. - look out! Conversely, if he does NOT want to get in his car seat/have his diaper changed/put his shoes on - also look out. :

Would you say this is normal 14 month old behavior or would you characterize him as "spirited"?

[mama_kass]

It sounds like you just wrote about my 15 month old son! I do not characterize him as spirited. At their age they are learning about the world and trying to experience everything that they physically can. They are learning how things work. Cause and effect. The best thing you can do right now is baby proof WELL and of course supervise. Have fun! I love the toddler years. They are a lot of work but so much fun.

[famousmockngbrd]

Thanks - honestly I don't even know why I'm asking this question because what good is it going to do to put a label on him anyway? He's still going to be the same kid.

[Greaseball]

Would you say this is normal 14 month old behavior or would you characterize him as "spirited"?

I would say that all normal children of all ages are spirited. What's the alternative - a child with no spirit? Is that really what people want?

I sometimes find myself wishing that dd was the kind of child who was still, quiet and obedient but I know in the long run I will be glad she isn't. In the very, very long run.

[chapulina]

while it's true that all children 'have spirit' - that natural, irrepressible curiosity, thirst for life and exploration of the world, zest, energy, innocence, however you describe these precious little people - not all children are 'spirited' in the sense that they are extra challenging.

2 clues to help you know if you have this kind of a child: a) if you're asking this question, probably not b) other people remarking, "is she/he o.k.?" or "what's wrong with her/him?"
when your child is just being herself.


for some mothers/parents, the clues come early, like in utero. A baby that moves early and/or extra vigorously day and night. As infants, they are often fussy, awake more than asleep, literally nurse about every 15-20", etc.

Two good books that offer excellent descriptions and information on this characteristic , which affects about 10-15% of people are:

The Fussy Baby Book (Dr. Sears)
Raising Your Spirited Child (Mary Sheedy Kurcinka)

Also, Stanley Greenspan's The Challenging Child and another book titled The Highly- Sensitive Child are quite good for a better understanding on these special children.

[Leatherette]

He sounds great! Generally when I hear people talking about "spirited" children, it's that they are having difficulty disciplining them or keeping them safe. It's not so much about the child being a certain way, but more about altering your approach with them or altering the environment so it's a safer place to explore. Sometimes the approach that comes most naturally to us does not fit our children.

My son is three and still likes to play in the cat bowl whenever he sees it. The cat food is kept in the work room and there's a cat door the cats can go in and out of. The door is locked, and anything we don't want DS to play with is in there (tools, stained glass equipment, cat litter box as well). I would rather have it this way than have a bunch of "no's" laying around.

Like you said, labelling him won't do anything, but get information for yourself if you feel frustrated.

L.

[famousmockngbrd]

Thank you - these responses have been very helpful.