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DH refuses to keep OTC and prescription drugs out of DS reach - Page 2

post #21 of 67
OK, still outraged but thinking more about solutions. Not too long ago I was taking nearly 30 pills a day with two toddlers in the house. I ended up shifting some dishes around and storing them in the above-counter cabinets next to the cereal bowls and sandwich plates. With a baby gate across the kitchen entryway and the kids needing to take out a folding ladder and climb onto the counter just to get to that cabinet, I felt pretty secure knowing they couldn't get into the pills, but I saw them every time I opened the cabinet for a snack or meal. It was pretty hard to forget a dose unless we were out of the house.
post #22 of 67
He might as well leave a loaded gun on the counter top. That is terrible that he refused to childproof his meds.
post #23 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post
OK, still outraged but thinking more about solutions. Not too long ago I was taking nearly 30 pills a day with two toddlers in the house. I ended up shifting some dishes around and storing them in the above-counter cabinets next to the cereal bowls and sandwich plates. With a baby gate across the kitchen entryway and the kids needing to take out a folding ladder and climb onto the counter just to get to that cabinet, I felt pretty secure knowing they couldn't get into the pills, but I saw them every time I opened the cabinet for a snack or meal. It was pretty hard to forget a dose unless we were out of the house.

This is what we do for DH who is on several meds per day. It works for now as dd is 7 and knows not to touch them, ad ds is 9 months old and not eally mobile yet. When ds is old enough to climb, they will be in a LOCKED cupboard, but dh is still adjusting to taking meds daily, and this is the compromise we reached.

Quite frankly, in the OPs position I would have locked the meds up myself, and if he argued about that I would have said he was welcome to leave them out wherever he wanted in his new place, because someone that irresponsible would NOT be living with my kids.
post #24 of 67
I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.
post #25 of 67
I'd throw them out and tell him I would rather he die then an innocent child. That is inexcusable. My FIL used to leave his vitamins and meds on the coffee table. I flat out told him that if I ever found them out again he would not be allowed to stay here anymore and that if any of the kids ever got sick or killed by them he would never see any of them ever again. He got the message.
post #26 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeliphish View Post
Also...if something were to happen, his refusal to make things safe would allow the police to charge him as well as CPS to get involved.
they take that stuff seriously.

Quote:
Originally Posted by confustication View Post
Quite frankly, in the OPs position I would have locked the meds up myself, and if he argued about that I would have said he was welcome to leave them out wherever he wanted in his new place, because someone that irresponsible would NOT be living with my kids.
when Dh started taking meds, we had a similiar convo. he wanted them down low and i said no, they need to be up high. i won, b/c i said the exact same thing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MariesMama View Post
I agree with MommytoTwo - I'd throw them away or hide them and say something like "well I don't know where they are, maybe DS did something with them". I'm not saying to blame your son, but to make your husband realize that it is totally possible for your son to do whatever he wants with the medication if it's in his reach.
maybe it would scare him to think that his DS ate them? prob, but i wouldnt lie. i would tell him i threw them away, and he is welcom to go buy new ones for his new house.
post #27 of 67
Would he leave guns, knives etc out? Does he not make the connection or is he mentally unstable?
post #28 of 67
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Would he leave guns, knives etc out? Does he not make the connection or is he mentally unstable?
No... and sometimes I do wonder. It just seems such a common sense thing.
I do have a small, very heavy lockable fireproof safe. I will empty the contents tonight and put it in the bathroom then tell him where the key is and that it's a temp solution until we find a permanent one.
post #29 of 67
My DH used to be a butt about meds, not out of meanness, just out of spacey ness. I finally emptied out an ice cream tub (those gallon things) and said, your meds go in here, no where but in here. If I find them lying around I'm throwing them away, quite frankly if I have to choose between YOU dying and my CHILD dying I'm going to pick you every single time.
post #30 of 67
I am pretty sure anything that looks like ice cream is the last place I want to hide something from my ice-cream loving daughter At least I know it would get my ice-cream loving husband's attention.
post #31 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama View Post
quite frankly if I have to choose between YOU dying and my CHILD dying I'm going to pick you every single time.
Funny, yet 100% true.
post #32 of 67
Okay this might be reading a lot into this.

Sounds to me like he felt really guilty that DC got into his meds, got worried, scared, anxious, most of all guilty, and many people (men esp) seem to have trouble just dealing with those feelings, so he instead got stubborn and pigheaded about the whole thing, insisting he is totally reasonable.

I say this only because he didn't think his own mother leaving pills around was okay. I know he didn't follow through on it, but he knows it's wrong.

I like the high shelf thing in the bathroom. Something at his eye level would be far enough away from DC.

As far as talking to DH about this... I wish I knew what to say. Maybe "how did you feel when I said we have to move your meds?" and try to get him to say how he felt, not that he didn't want to move them.
post #33 of 67
Thread Starter 
gretelmom, that is a great idea, thank you.
post #34 of 67
If the problem is that he thinks he needs to leave them out so he remembers, would an alarm on his phone or watch help? I had the same problem. I started with just leaving the pills where I would see them and then DD2 started to get to them. DH suggested I set alarms and it helped.
post #35 of 67
It isn't good to store medications in the bathroom anyway.

Any chance you have a high cupboard with glasses and could put the medicine bottles with the glasses for water for taking them?
post #36 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkin View Post
My DH does the same thing. He won't even put things in a drawer and he even keeps empty blister packs scattered about. The mess drives me crazy. It helps him to follow his very complicated and critical med schedule. He absolutely must stay on schedule or his life is in serious danger.
My aunt in law handled this (transplant meds.) by making up little cups of pills in the morning. The cups were lined up in the cupboard by the time to take them with the bottles of medicine.

Then whatever method he uses to remember that he has to go take pill A at 8, 12, 4 and 8 and pill B at 6, 9, 12, 3, 6, 9 can be used to go to the cupboard at 6, 8, 9, 12, 3, 4, 6, 8, 9 and take the next little cup of pills.
post #37 of 67
I agree that your dh might have gotten into that groove of defending an indefensible position out of guilt. It happens to all of us - too bad it's happening right now about something so very non-negotiable.

Anyhow. I second the idea of a high-up shelf in your bathroom, and then you just have to play the passive-aggressive game until you win. Every single time he goes in there to take his pills, you call out "please put your pills back up, baby!" Every single time he leaves them down, you put them up.
post #38 of 67
Thread Starter 
He does not wear a watch and doesn't keep his phone by him, so alarms won't work, sorry.

He could put them on the TOP of the small cupboard in the bathroom but I do not know if he will go for that.

Quote:
Every single time he goes in there to take his pills, you call out "please put your pills back up, baby!" Every single time he leaves them down, you put them up.
Sorry, this will not work either. He is the most stubborn person I have ever encountered and this would go on for-e-ver, plus he would just put them back on the counter where DS can get at them. He will do things just to spite me and this would probably be considered some kind of 'game' so there would probably be a 'repercussion' (he threatens also).
post #39 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ophelia View Post
Sorry, this will not work either. He is the most stubborn person I have ever encountered and this would go on for-e-ver, plus he would just put them back on the counter where DS can get at them. He will do things just to spite me and this would probably be considered some kind of 'game' so there would probably be a 'repercussion' (he threatens also).
I'm trying not to overreact here since you've only asked for help on the medicine issue, but your post is raising some major red flags with me.

Playing 'games' about 'repercussions' isn't being stubborn, it's being abusive.

Doing things to spite you for-e-ver isn't a personality quirk, it's abuse.

Making you life in fear of his reactions is abuse.

Risking your child's life to be 'right' is not the action of a rational adult.

At the very least if I were in your place I'd have a secret separate bank account and would tuck as much money in there as possible.

(ETA: and yes, that is the not-overreacting version. the over-reacting version was to tell you to run, but I don't think you're in immediate danger from him)
post #40 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
I'm trying not to overreact here since you've only asked for help on the medicine issue, but your post is raising some major red flags with me.

Playing 'games' about 'repercussions' isn't being stubborn, it's being abusive.

Doing things to spite you for-e-ver isn't a personality quirk, it's abuse.

Making you life in fear of his reactions is abuse.

Risking your child's life to be 'right' is not the action of a rational adult.

At the very least if I were in your place I'd have a secret separate bank account and would tuck as much money in there as possible.

(ETA: and yes, that is the not-overreacting version. the over-reacting version was to tell you to run, but I don't think you're in immediate danger from him)
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