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Attachment parenting and summer camp - Page 4

post #61 of 151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Britishmum View Post
Camp isn't such a big thing in the UK, but I did go to one camp as a kid. And there were pay phones. And there were no limits whatsoever on using them to call anyone you chose to call. And there were no logistical problems with it either. I just recall us hanging around waiting for a phone to be free in the evenings, chatting and eating candy and larking around as we did so. It was no chaotic big deal, just kids hanging out while they waited turns. And there was more that a hundred kids there. And no cell phones in those days either!
I mentioned this thread to dh, and he said something similar. He's from the US, but he said that when he was a Boy Scout, this was the way it worked. The kids just used the phone during free time, if they felt like doing so.

I've never been to overnight camp, except "Outdoor School", which is a lot different. You go to that as a class, and share a cabin with 4-5 classmates, so the "stranger" effect isn't really there, except for the cabin counselor.
post #62 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by velochic View Post
I don't think this is about AP, either. The attachment part also means that as they mature, you let go according to their needs. If she wants to go and is O.K. with being out of contact except in the case of emergency, then let her go. If she is not comfortable with it, then try to find a camp/day camp that you can attend with her.
She is excited about this camp because of the horseback riding. Darn, I should have already put her in horseback riding classes locally, and then maybe she wouldn't be so excited about this one.

I did find one that she and I could both do, Mother/Daughter horseback riding camp and she thought that was "too weird."
post #63 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
We were not allowed phone contact, but we did get letters from our parents and that was so much fun.
I am planning to write her a letter every day and also to send her a care package every day. She already warned me that she would be having too much fun to write every day. I said that was fine.
post #64 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaterPrimaePuellae View Post
Even more-- if someone told me that they were taking away from husband and daughter for a month so I could become "independent"-- oh, and no phone calls, because that would lengthen my acclimation-- I would NOT be pleased.
This is exactly how I feel. Nobody is suggesting a wife and a husband separate so they can become independent, so why should a child be separated from parents? That makes no sense to me. If my child wants to go to sleep away camp, she will go. But I think it is SO VERY UNNATURAL that everybody thinks it is OK not to have telephone contact if both the parent and the child want it.
post #65 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuildJenn View Post
As a girl in particular, spending a month (and then two months) in a media-free, mostly boy-free environment helped me to hold onto some aspects of myself that Mary Pipher talks about disappearing in her book Reviving Ophelia. Learning and applying the physical skills and having a group of friends that were in no way related to school was really great. Having young women in their late teens to mid twenties as role models and supporting me in loco parentis was fantastic in a lot of ways. I remember a few in particular: an openly lesbian artist; a phenomenal tennis player.
I love that book. And, I love that camp is all-girls and owned by a lesbian and has only one man on-site and he works in the kitchen away from the kids. I love that they have a three-to-one kid to teacher ratio. I love that she is going to make a new different set of friends. I love that she is doing something not related to her world, which is dance and theatre and singing. I love that she is going to be outdoors alot.
post #66 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by choli View Post
Sounds more like you have a problem with the idea that your DD could be fine at the camp without you!
No, I will be very happy if she is fine at the camp without me. I want her to be able to trust in people. I absolutely love the people that we met when we were there visiting.

I just want to be absolutely sure that she is safe and happy every day. I don't want to find out ten days later that she wasn't.
post #67 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by thyra View Post
My parents dropped us all off at the pickup point (we took busses to camp since it was on an island) and My little brother cried, and went kicking and screaming. That was the last my parents heard from him until 10 days later when they picked us all up! He had a BLAST - didn't even write a single letter! And, no more homesickness problems ever again. EVER.
I do think that is cruel. Sounds like Why don't we just put our newborns in cribs across the hall from us and let them cry until they fall asleep. That works too.
post #68 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by thyra View Post
And, find out if the camp is accredited by the American Camping Association - if they are this will speak alot about the camp.
Thank you, Thrya, I looked it up and it is accredited!
post #69 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amys1st View Post
If all of this dosent jive with you, keep her home this summer but be prepared to have something else available for her, since she seems ready to me.
I can't keep her at home. I wouldn't do that to her. We can both live with that rule, but I just disagree with it so much.
post #70 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by snoopy5386 View Post
Can you call the camp every day and speak to her counselor to see if she is doing ok?
Yes, I can call and I probably will. They already think I am weird though. Twice during my first call to her, she told me to find another camp. We visited on a Friday and then again the next morning. We put a deposit down. When we called for a followup, she asked, "Now is she really going to do this camp and be away from you for so long?" I am kinda afraid that they will get mad and return my money and then I will have a heart-broken kid.
post #71 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by skueppers View Post
I would encourage you to think about this in terms of whether you trust your daughter to be right about her ability to handle this. I suspect that if she thinks she can handle it, she can. You might also consider what message you would be sending her about your confidence in her judgement and self-knowledge if you didn't let her go.
This isn't about not letting her go. I already told her she could go and she is soooo happy. Neither of us is happy about this one weird rule, however.
post #72 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
[My dh is] from the US, but he said that when he was a Boy Scout, this was the way it worked. The kids just used the phone during free time, if they felt like doing so.
That seems so sensible to me.
post #73 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post
Someone pointed me in the direction of some camp resources on the web that talked about seperation and managing homesickness successfully as a developmental piece for the kids.
Thank you. I will look for those resources.
post #74 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by karemore View Post
I agree with you. It sounds unnatural to me and I'd have a hard time with that policy.

I wouldn't be away from my husband that long without talking with him and I certainly wouldn't be away from my child without talking with her and knowing she could call me if she wanted to.
Thank you. I was feeling so alone in the world.
post #75 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scottishduffy View Post
Camp was a very short gift every summer and the friends I met there i may not ever see again. Sure, many of came back year after year... but sadly some couldn't. I wanted to treasure the moments that i knew would be so short lived. Home would always be there.... my camp friends would not. BTW... 10 years after my last summer I still keep in touch with camp friends. Camp remains the most profoundly positive experience of my life and I wish both you and your daughter all the best!
I asked around alot in those two days that I was there and heard great stories. One person told me, "Oh yeah, I heard about that place. I heard that women come back and drop off their daughters after they are all grown up and want their daughters to experience this camp.
post #76 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Phoebe View Post
I have worked at camp for years and years and one of the camps I worked at for the longest had a pay phone on site that kids would line up to use during the choice time period. That camp had a lot of international campers who would call home every couple of days to check in. . . Yes, I think the kids cry more when they talk to their parents. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing. They ARE away from their parents. That IS a little bit sad. Distracting kids from being sad isn't what we're all about.

I LOVE the pay phone idea.

And, yes, I don't think crying is a bad thing either. I know my kid. I would talk to her she would most likely be super happy. If she cried, I would be sad, and ask do you want me to come for me. If she said yes, I would go. But more than likely she would say, Mom I am just sad because I am talking to you and I miss you, but I am having a blast here. Please don't come.
post #77 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by intentionalmama View Post
I was thinking about Gordon Neufeld and some of his thoughts from his book "Hold on to your Kids." The idea that the attachment between parents and children should be the most important relationships in children's lives.
I can't wait to read this book. I agree with the idea!
post #78 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evan&Anna's_Mom View Post
We aren't meant to spend our entire lives at our parents sides, any more than we are meant to spend our entire lives drinking breast milk.
We are very attached to our daughter and her thoughts at the present is never to live anywhere than with us. I KNOW that will not happen. "You are going to college with me to make sure I don't drink, right mom"? I chuckle when she says that because she is much to independent to really mean that she is taking me with her to college when she turns 18.

I don't want to nurse her forever (although for a while there, I thought she would .)
post #79 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoElias View Post
Could you send a cell phone with her to use only if necessary?
Cell phones are not allowed and camper will be sent home if a cell phone is found.
post #80 of 151
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Britishmum View Post
Wow, I'm so surprised that a no-phone policy is normal. Camp isn't such a big thing in the UK, but I did go to one camp as a kid. And there were pay phones. And there were no limits whatsoever on using them to call anyone you chose to call. And there were no logistical problems with it either. I just recall us hanging around waiting for a phone to be free in the evenings, chatting and eating candy and larking around as we did so. It was no chaotic big deal, just kids hanging out while they waited turns. And there was more that a hundred kids there. And no cell phones in those days either!
Sigh. Thanks!
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