Originally Posted by Smithie
Sounds like you've made the arrangement that bets suits your child's needs at this time! Good on you!
(And honestly, isn't he coming into the age where he might be developing the a healthy, normal desire to avoid contact with a very messed-up person? I don't know what the legal obstacles are, but psychologically I'm not sure if it's a problem if he's starting to disentangle himself from him mom.)
I know, I agree, that is something I've been mentally working on. When he was younger, I really learned from him that he needed to have contact with her even though she was messed up and dissappointed him. It was hard to admit, but he needed to see his mom, regardless of her craziness and we needed to find a way to make it safe for him to do that. Now that he is older, I do think it seems normal and healthy to be able to pull yourself away from someone who is hurting you, disappointing you, or just generally in an unhealthy mental stage. How many people do we know who remain in unhealthy relationships? It might be good for him to start making those decisions. She was texting him for a few days and I could tell it was upsetting him. Dh asked her to respect the fact that he asked for no contact at the present and that dss would contact her when he was ready. She seems to have agreed because the texting stopped. I don't know how long she'll let that go, though. He is old enough, legally, to start making those decisions, and if he is sure of it, we'll help him with what he wants to do.