baptize one child and not your other children?

[mollusk]

did you baptize your first LO and then with your later children did not?
if so why?

[lilyka]

:

I did not but it seems that if you left the faith it would make sense not to baptize them . . . .

[iowaorganic]

We baptized both DD and DS1 in the presbyterian church that we were members and regular in attendence. We will not be ba[tizing DS2 though. He will be dedicated in our new church- Church of Christ.

Here is the background. I grew up in a GARBC Baptist church. DH was raised Methodist and later joined the local Presbyterian church that his grandparents were members of. When we were married we decided that for the time being we would both attend and be members of DH's church. I decided that that meant doing things thier way even though I know that infant baptism is not scriptural. I figured that if I took it to mean a dedication that was all that really mattered and later in life my children could choose to be baptized themselves. Now that we are finally switching churches DH, having been re-educated, has agreed to the dedication.

[EFmom]

We did. In between the first and second child I stopped pretending that I believe in god. I'd been faking it all my life and finally started being honest about it. So there's no point in baptizing the second child, and I wish I hadn't done it with the first.

[papayapetunia]

We baptised my 10yo in the Catholic church, as tradition, and not because of religious beliefs. I always thought we'd also baptise our second daughter, but we moved states when she was 2 months old, and then just never got around to it. Now, she's so shy and sensitive at almost age 3, that I think she'd scream and cry if we tried to do it. I don't know if she'll ever get baptised. I was baptised at age 8. I was adopted at age 8, and they didn't know if I had been baptised before, and when it came time for me to be able to receive communion, they had to be sure I was baptised. I remember being really embarrassed that I was being baptised with a bunch of babies.

[doubledutch]

my kids are only 18 months apart and i've done so many things differently, for many reasons. main reasons: different kid, different parents (how dumb would we be if we didn't learn and grow from one child to the next?!) and different circumstances. religious practices are no exception!

[mollusk]

thank you for your replies! this is something that dh and i are trying to be thoughtful about right now, for family tradition reasons. its not a faith issue, as we no longer are practicing Catholics and do not identify with any religious community.

[lilyka]

if you are no longer practicing the faith do you really even think your kids will notice?

[crittersmom]

My oldest was baptised Catholic but the others haven't been.We are a military family and have family on both coasts.It was hard enough getting things together to get our oldest baptised and DH still couldn't be there at the last minute.I also really want the godparents to be part of our family circle not just a warm body who happens to be Catholic.I hope that the godparents would be an extra set of parents for my children to look up to and also for those godparents not to have the burden of having tons of godchildren.The last reason is probably a weird one.Maybe when our life is a little more normal we can baptise but for now I think the kids are just fine and God will still recognize them.

[Mountaingirl79]

Originally Posted by EFmom

We did. In between the first and second child I stopped pretending that I believe in god. I'd been faking it all my life and finally started being honest about it. So there's no point in baptizing the second child, and I wish I hadn't done it with the first.

Me too.

[Mary]

Originally Posted by EFmom

We did. In between the first and second child I stopped pretending that I believe in god. I'd been faking it all my life and finally started being honest about it. So there's no point in baptizing the second child, and I wish I hadn't done it with the first.

Us too! The same exact situation.

[luv_my_babes]

We had ds baptised in an Anglican church because the Catholic preist at my FIL's church would not baptise ds because DP and I are not married. We were pressured into the entire baptism by my in-laws. :

By the time my dd was born, I was a little older and wiser, and there was no way that I was going to be pressured to do something that I didn't want to. They asked me *when* I was going to do it.... I never gave them a straight answer. Finally, I got upset at all the comments and haggling, and I told them flat out that I didn't believe in organized religion, and that religion should come from within. They still think that DP and I are heathens

[mollusk]

Originally Posted by lilyka

if you are no longer practicing the faith do you really even think your kids will notice?

More that it is something that has been a really important event for both sides of our families (read: involvement in the church is a VERY important part of both our parents' lives...baptism means a lot to them).

Instead, we are thinking about planning a get together that would mean a lot to us, involve family and friends in a meaningful way....and be an alternative to being in the Catholic church for a baptism that doesn't actually mean a lot to us.
that sounds waaay better to me!

[wombatclay]

We baptised dd1 (catholic ceremony) in order to keep the peace in our extended families. DH and I did not at that time attend the catholic church or identify as catholic but given the physical/mental health concerns in our (extremely catholic) extended family we felt that having dd1 participate in a ritual that had no meaning (for us) was preferable to dealing with the unhappiness that would follow our not having her baptised.

However, by the time dd2 arrived DH and I were much more secure in our ability to...well... to be a family on our own I suppose, without the approval of our extended family (since our parenting style was counter to just about everything our extended family practiced so we were already pretty much on our own). When my mother approached us to let us know she was arranging a baptism for dd2 we told her "no". It did, in fact, csue a huge split in the family. There are many relatives (including my mother) who no longer speak with us or interact with our children. So not getting dd2 baptised did have a real "cost" for our family.

When our new babe arrives this summer we wont be getting him baptised either. We may go with a "welcome baby" ceremony at our UU church, we may not.