CLW: Me against the World (it seems like).

[eko_mom]

My dd is 3 1/4. I'm 7.5 mo pregnant. Most people, are quietly urging weaning. Either by making comments about how hard nursing 2 will be, or making comments to my daughter about how she's "so big," and now she'll have to share, etc. I've dealt with the comments mostly by ignoring them, but a mama needs some support, links to articles I can print out.

I am finding nursing while pregnant excruciating at time, mentally and physically. But, I don't want to wean. So, just looking for some help. Its not forthcoming in my world because, even with dh, people don't understand what I'm doing, or why and consider it somewhat of a martyr project or just weird.

Sometimes lately I feel that way too, especially when my dd is demanding about it because I am sometimes reluctant.

[Bald_Bull's_Mama]

Have you read the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing? I have not, but have heard it recommended often from mamas in that situation. Good luck, mama. Keep your chin up. You are doing the best thing for your LO!

[lurve]

that is what is so great about these forums - it just shows that you are not alone!! keep up the great work mama. it doesn't matter if even your dh doesn't understand - you understand. you know. you are following your mama instincts and giving your children the best of what they need. that is what a mama is for. congrats on being so awesome!

[ewe+lamb]

There are many here who tandem nurse - I am one of them!! I tandem nursed for 18 months, we loved it, when they nursed together they would hold hands and touch each other in such a tender loving way, I see it now between them both and it brings tears to my eyes, they are so sensitive to each other and to others, there is also a tiny newborn nursing and what seems like a huge toddler which can be hard to begin with but the love that has grown between them is wonderful, when my dd nursed she seemed so much like she needed it I could never refuse she would beckon her little brother to come and join us saying there's room for you too! There is no problem with sharing the kids give to each other easily and play very happily even though there is 3 years between them. DD stopped nursing when she wanted, when she felt comfortable and we were all very happy with her decision - believe in yourself and trust yours and your dd's instincts on this one and you know you'll do whats best for you. Adventures in Tandem Nursing is a great book and really helped me prepare for nursing two!!

[eko_mom]

Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your input and suggestions. Its hard to keep towing (toeing?) the line when being challenged, especially subltly, over and over and over again. I guess it particularly annoys me when people intimate that CLW and AP choices are weaknesses on my part. But, I guess, its true, all that really matters is being true to what I know is best.

Going to find that book suggested here.

[kohlby]

Nursing while pg was harder for me than tandem nursing. I nursed two for 25 months and am now 2 months into my second tandeming experience. I figured I had two breasts for a reason!

[muppet729]

Originally Posted by kohlby

Nursing while pg was harder for me than tandem nursing.

This is true for me too. I figure that I've been nursing AND pregnant or tandem nursing (or tandem nursing AND pregnant but that was only for 2months) for 3 years straight. Sometimes I really cherish the times when I can just nurse one of them at a time....

You are not alone!

Read Adventures in Tandem Nursing - Very worthwhile

[Selesai]

I got pregnant with my second when my first was 11 months so clearly I wasn't ready to wean. When I was pregnant, my MIL was concerned about my nutrition (would I receive enough, after the kids took theirs?) Now that my DS is almost 3, my Dh will occasionally make annoying comments about how he should stop nursing.

I didn't find it easy all of the time to nurse during pregnancy, either. Frankly, when G was born, P was still waking at night to nurse and there were nights when I wanted to kill myself. But I knew that as irritating as this could be, I didn't want to wean and P wasn't ready. So I pushed through.

You're almost there!

If I could go back and change anything, it would be to make sure that I had P nightweaned (preferably STTN, though we know how that goes) before G came.
Also, consider making limits. P had to nurse after the baby, and wait for me to take care of her first. Now he only nurses at bedtime and in the morning. I had to do this for my sanity (and also because I think G nursing inspired P to nurse more).

Anyway, you can do it.

[isabchi]

You're not alone. 'm tandem nursing for almost 9 months. After all, I am very happy with my decision of not weaning DD (3 y, 4m.). In the early day after my DS born, was really taudght to nursing DD. She was demanding to nurse at the rhythm that DS. I was try to set some boundaries with DD, because hormonally I feel overwhelm to nurse them at the same time.lol. Also, my MIL was pushing me to nursing my DD at the same time with my newborn. The same MIL who was concern about nutrition during the pregnancy and nursing DD, go figure it!. But after all, DD still nursing twice a day and she love her nursing session.
I have two very happy and healthy nursling,that it's all about it.

[eko_mom]

Originally Posted by Selesai

Frankly, when G was born, P was still waking at night to nurse and there were nights when I wanted to kill myself.

LOL! I appreciate your candor.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

I get flack for nursing my oldest son all the time - people seem to think once you have a new baby, he/she replaces the first one and they can't share nursing. My boys share just fine and I have plenty for both of them

I visited relatives over easter and was getting the *looks* when with my oldest.

[mom2threenurslings]

Yes...lots of tandem (or triandem!) nursers here!

I've been nursing for over 10 years straight ... all but 9 months of that nursing through pregnancy, tandem nursing, tandem nursing through pregnancy, or triandem nursing (and a couple months triandem nursing while pregnant!).

For me it helps to realize that to most people, nursing a child over 6, 9 or 12 months is strange, nevermind pregnant or tandem nursing. People tend to be afraid of things they don't understand or make assumptions about things that just aren't true. I've heard it all... from nursing through pregnancy causing low birtweight (tell that to my fourth child, whose pregnancy I tandem nursed through, who was born "on time" weighing 10lbs 14, oz ...no gestational diabetes!), preterm labor (tell that to my fifth child who was 9 days "late"), etc. Personally, I don't let the comments get to me and just smile and nod, or thank the person and tell them I'll think about what they said (think it's uninformed, idiotic... insane ... : ). Or I put a shocked look on my face and continue the conversation with "But my research shows...." or "But my doctor said..."

: to you!!!

[eko_mom]

I wish all you lived in my neighborhood. Thanks a lot.

[miss_sonja]

I was in a similar situation but my LO had almost weaned. Nursing hurt like heck, but I still let her. Some pressure to wean, but luckily not too bad.

Nursing both was a joy and I am so glad my older DD didn't end up weaning.