Going broke from breastfeeding - Page 2

[gini1313]

Oh mama... Love yourself. You have worked so hard to do what is best for your baby. Like someone said... even if you stopped today, it would not be in defeat. Maybe not what you wanted, but not defeated. You have worked harder for this than I have for anything for my kids. What a wonderful mama you are!!!

Look inside yourself and see what you should do there. It does sound to me, though, that you would always wonder if that one more thing would have worked. That would be hard to live with after all you have already been through and how important this obviously is to you.

[Emily's Mama]

Do you still use all 4 pumps? could you maybe sell a couple (on ebay or similar) to help fund the CST, to pay for a couple sessions? :Maybe hunt around the house for other things to sell to pay for it? I'd imagine that you would start to notice improvement before the full number of sessions, so it might give you an indication after 2 or 3 sessions if you would want to continue.

You have done SO much so far, and you are amazing. It's tough to decide what to do though, as part of you may always wonder what would have happened if you don't do the CST. But all the pumping, weighing etc can be exhausting mentally and physically and maybe takes time away from your little baby. I exclusively pumped for DD1 (did have to supplement some too), but tried fewer things than you have probably to rectify problems with BF. In hindsight I am extremely happy I persevered with the pumping as I really felt I needed to do it to to be at peace with myself, but I also now wish I"d let up with it a bit more and maybe not stressed so much about it, as it was so consuming of time and energy (and cost of pumps, etc, like you say!). I did hear about CST when I had DD2 and I wish I had tried it with DD1 to help her attach.

[sapphire_chan]

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...1#post12421310

Might be helpful.

[radiowave]

We had a similar experience with nursing...and after trying for 10 weeks she was finally able to latch and nurse. It took a while, but eventually my supply improved. The two things that made the greatest difference for us were getting her frenulum slipped (she had posterior tongue tie, which several doctors did NOT diagnose) and CST.
You have done and are doing an amazing job!
If you would like to talk or hear more about what we did (I am planning on posting a full story soon in breastfeeding challenges), please pm me...
CST is very helpful.

[gagin37]

Have you thought about finding a milk donor? That way you could supplement with breast milk rather than formula if you need to continue with the supplementing. I mention it because your story reminds me a lot of the family I'm donating milk for right now. Whatever you decide, you are in NO way being defeated! You're an awesome mama, and I am in awe of your commitment to nursing your babe!

[MountainMamaGC]

Good luck to you. Even if it doesnt work out long term, it was worth every penny to get breastmilk to your baby for even 3 months.

[haurelia]

Bodywork made the difference for us

Hi mama! :
You are not obsessive, you are not a lunatic. You are fighting and using your resources to do what's best for your baby. He DOES want to nurse, he just needs a lot of help from you. You are doing the right thing, the important thing and most importantly, the thing that feels right to you. Mother's instincts are so important, and you are paying attention to them for all the right reasons. Give yourself some grace.
Shame on your mom and your mate for giving up on you; perhaps they don't understand how important it is, but ultimately, they're making it harder by not having your back. I'm sorry.

Only you can make the decision of where to draw lines, but I encourage you to give the CST a try. I haven't read all the PPs, but do see one that suggested selling some of the stuff you've bought but aren't using to fund the CST...that's a great idea!
I just wanted to share that bodywork pretty much "saved the day" for my nursling. My son had a very rough start to nursing...we had an easy birthing, but he was a bit early and immature, and didn't nurse effectively; he developed severe jaundice and had to be hospitalized. My milk still wasn't in by a week. He lost a lot of weight and we had to supplement with donor milk for a few weeks while we worked on measures to increase my supply (a lot the stuff you're doing) and improve his latch (high palate, not opening wide). I was reaching a point where it seemed ridiculous to be spending so much $$ on pump, LCs, herbs and donor milk, but I wasn't giving up.

At 3 weeks of age, we saw a DO for cranial osteopathy, which is very similar to CST. She gently readjusted his cranial bones and jaw. After the first session, I nursed him and for the first time EVER, felt a strong pull on my nipple with no pain. His chin was practically on his chest, milk was leaking out of the corners of his mouth and he was looking up like "whoa mama, this never happened before!" He had one more visit with the DO and has had a few chiro adjustments. By 6 weeks old, he was off all supplements of donor milk and totally on my breast for all feedings. I also was able to wean all the herbs and pumping.
So, in my opinion, go for it! I know that I would have been regretful if I hadn't tried that one last thing (knowing what I know now). Also, consider a milk donor if you need to supplement...at least then your LO is getting human milk in addition to your milk. We got ours from a milk bank, but I know there are a lot of women giving it away to other moms too.

I wish you the best, and look forward to hearing more. Feel free to PM if you have any questions for me.
:

[LindsG]

Wow, I feel much more hopeful after reading these posts! I made an appointment for the CST next tues. I'm SO anxious! I haven't told my husband yet. BUT I started putting some things for sale on craigslist so i'm not going to worry about the money part right now. Besides, if I quit breastfeeding, we'll probably have to pay for me to go to see a psychologist for depression.

I started thinking back and REALLY trying to put the pieces together here and I am really hopeful that CST is the ticket- I just hope it's not too late to get my supply back up again after 3 months of trying to figure things out. About a month or so ago, we were seeing a chiro. We went 6 times and during those 2 weeks, his latch was increasing and he was getting more milk for a few days at a time but then it would all fall apart. Since I stopped going to the chiro, we haven't really had ANY good latch days so i'm thinking the adjustments WERE helping afterall but he just needed more. I think I need someone to focus more on his head than his spine. He still has a lump on his head from the difficult birth.

The only other thing I suspect is posterior tongue tie. I've had him to see a doctor in the area that is supposed to be really good at diagnosing TT (found a reference for her on this board - dr. soppas) and she told me that his frenulum is tight but it's elastic enough that it doesn't warrant clipping...but I wonder if this doctor is good at diagnosing posterior tongue tie? When a baby cries, should their tongue reach all the way up to the roof of their mouth? Because his doesn't. It can go up like half way, but it never reaches all the way up. My dad has tongue tie also and I know it's genetic so now i'm wondering if I should be pursuing this too! If I can't find a doctor who can diagnose this though, then there's really nothing I can do I suppose.

[LindsG]

BTW, How would I go about finding a milk donor?? My friend that just had a baby is having oversupply issues (go figure) but she's trying to decrease her milk because it's causing probs with her baby having too much foremilk so I know she wouldn't be willing to pump extra for me at least this early when she's still trying to work out her own breastfeeding issues and I feel horrible even having to ask for such a huge favor of someone.

[RunnerDuck]

What is CST??

I tried a lot of things to make enough milk for my twins and nothing really worked. They went a few months getting just breastmilk but it wasn't enough - they were scrawny and skinny and hungry. I finally gave in and supplemented ... They've been getting breast and bottle ever since and we're all so much happier...

I don't consider myself a failure at all. It wasn't what I hoped for but oh well!

And it does have it's perks...

Like being able to kick DH in the middle of the night and say "You feed her..."

[LindsG]

Originally Posted by RunnerDuck

What is CST??

I tried a lot of things to make enough milk for my twins and nothing really worked. They went a few months getting just breastmilk but it wasn't enough - they were scrawny and skinny and hungry. I finally gave in and supplemented ... They've been getting breast and bottle ever since and we're all so much happier...

I don't consider myself a failure at all. It wasn't what I hoped for but oh well!

And it does have it's perks...

Like being able to kick DH in the middle of the night and say "You feed her..."

Haha that's a good point but I still have yet to do that!

CST = Craniosacral therapy.

I'm sorry you went through these problems too but it's great that you were able to give them as much as possible and came to terms with it. Sheesh I can't imagine trying to make enough milk for TWO babies. I can't make enough for 1! How do you juggle doing breast and bottle? I always wonder if I skip feedings here and there or start making DH get up in the night to feed while I sleep, will my milk dry up completely? Or do you breastfeed both at every feeding and then supplement?

[LindsG]

Originally Posted by haurelia

Hi mama! :
You are not obsessive, you are not a lunatic. You are fighting and using your resources to do what's best for your baby. He DOES want to nurse, he just needs a lot of help from you. You are doing the right thing, the important thing and most importantly, the thing that feels right to you. Mother's instincts are so important, and you are paying attention to them for all the right reasons. Give yourself some grace.
Shame on your mom and your mate for giving up on you; perhaps they don't understand how important it is, but ultimately, they're making it harder by not having your back. I'm sorry.

Only you can make the decision of where to draw lines, but I encourage you to give the CST a try. I haven't read all the PPs, but do see one that suggested selling some of the stuff you've bought but aren't using to fund the CST...that's a great idea!
I just wanted to share that bodywork pretty much "saved the day" for my nursling. My son had a very rough start to nursing...we had an easy birthing, but he was a bit early and immature, and didn't nurse effectively; he developed severe jaundice and had to be hospitalized. My milk still wasn't in by a week. He lost a lot of weight and we had to supplement with donor milk for a few weeks while we worked on measures to increase my supply (a lot the stuff you're doing) and improve his latch (high palate, not opening wide). I was reaching a point where it seemed ridiculous to be spending so much $$ on pump, LCs, herbs and donor milk, but I wasn't giving up.

At 3 weeks of age, we saw a DO for cranial osteopathy, which is very similar to CST. She gently readjusted his cranial bones and jaw. After the first session, I nursed him and for the first time EVER, felt a strong pull on my nipple with no pain. His chin was practically on his chest, milk was leaking out of the corners of his mouth and he was looking up like "whoa mama, this never happened before!" He had one more visit with the DO and has had a few chiro adjustments. By 6 weeks old, he was off all supplements of donor milk and totally on my breast for all feedings. I also was able to wean all the herbs and pumping.
So, in my opinion, go for it! I know that I would have been regretful if I hadn't tried that one last thing (knowing what I know now). Also, consider a milk donor if you need to supplement...at least then your LO is getting human milk in addition to your milk. We got ours from a milk bank, but I know there are a lot of women giving it away to other moms too.

I wish you the best, and look forward to hearing more. Feel free to PM if you have any questions for me.
:

Thank you for the awesome post. It made me feel so much better reading it. It's so nice to hear stories of CST working for others. Oh I would be so so thrilled to have the same experience. I know DS has NEVER opened his mouth wide enough to have his chin touching his chest that's for sure! I love that you were able to get results with just a few sessions too. I don't mind paying for a few sessions but if I have to go a few times a week for the duration, I can't do that!

[RunnerDuck]

Originally Posted by LindsG

I'm sorry you went through these problems too but it's great that you were able to give them as much as possible and came to terms with it. Sheesh I can't imagine trying to make enough milk for TWO babies. I can't make enough for 1! How do you juggle doing breast and bottle? I always wonder if I skip feedings here and there or start making DH get up in the night to feed while I sleep, will my milk dry up completely? Or do you breastfeed both at every feeding and then supplement?

Early on I would do breast for both then top off with a bottle at each feed. Sometimes they didn't want a bottle, sometimes they did.

Around 11 months or so we were down to nursing just in the AM and PM and all the rest was bottles - I was hoping very little nursing would mean periods would come back, hoping to TTC again... but then they had shots at their one year check up and it kicked off a fever/crabby spell in E and now all she will do is nurse... so I had to kick K off the boob altogether (she didn't mind, luckily) and now E is pretty much getting all boob. She refuses bottles. It's kind of... infuriating... but she's cute... and snuggly... so I allow it...

They went back and forth easily between the two all along... but now E really fights a bottle... I guess I could/should be using sippies at this point (13 months) but the bottle habit is so ingrained... I should work on that.

As for night times - for the most part night time was always boob only... I guess in between the early days when we really had to fatten them up (they were preemies and wouldn't wake to eat much... ) and maybe 11 months or so... night time was just boob, and they were fine with that. Partly because fixing bottles during the night is a pain...

I don't know. We winged it. Wung it? It worked... it's working... they're fat and happy and thriving... basically nurse as much as you can and then top off if needed... in an ideal world you would pump to tell your boobs you still need more but while I totally get the theory behind this it was just too hard for me to keep up past 3-4 months, expecially with 2... as soon as I'd get hooked up, someone would want to nurse... and while their crying helped with my let down... it just seemed mean to me...

[haurelia]

Originally Posted by LindsG

BTW, How would I go about finding a milk donor?? My friend that just had a baby is having oversupply issues (go figure) but she's trying to decrease her milk because it's causing probs with her baby having too much foremilk so I know she wouldn't be willing to pump extra for me at least this early when she's still trying to work out her own breastfeeding issues and I feel horrible even having to ask for such a huge favor of someone.

Not sure where you live, but if you go to your tribal area and search the forum for donor milk or milk donor, you may come up with some mamas who have extra milk to give away. We used donor milk from a bank, because I didn't know about MDC then, and didn't have any nursing buddies...the milk from the bank was pasteurized and from tested moms, so it costs $$ (the bank uses it to cover testing, storage, shipping, etc). http://www.hmbana.org/

Good luck, and keep us posted.

[gagin37]

Originally Posted by haurelia

Not sure where you live, but if you go to your tribal area and search the forum for donor milk or milk donor, you may come up with some mamas who have extra milk to give away. We used donor milk from a bank, because I didn't know about MDC then, and didn't have any nursing buddies...the milk from the bank was pasteurized and from tested moms, so it costs $$ (the bank uses it to cover testing, storage, shipping, etc). http://www.hmbana.org/

Good luck, and keep us posted.

I was going to suggest Milk Share, but their website seems to be down, or not working for me, this afternoon. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/MilkShare/ but this is their yahoo group.

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by radiowave

We had a similar experience with nursing...and after trying for 10 weeks she was finally able to latch and nurse. It took a while, but eventually my supply improved. The two things that made the greatest difference for us were getting her frenulum slipped (she had posterior tongue tie, which several doctors did NOT diagnose) and CST.
You have done and are doing an amazing job!
If you would like to talk or hear more about what we did (I am planning on posting a full story soon in breastfeeding challenges), please pm me...
CST is very helpful.

Ditto!! My DS was tongue-tied and his tongue clipped at birth by an ENT, yet the problems still persisted. I tried EVERYTHING. It wasn't until a very experienced LC told me she thought the tongue tie was still an issue and referred us to a specialist. This MD said the first clipping was not done enough as his was quite bad. She did another, more complete one and within 3 weeks, nursing was a JOY. My DS is 1 year old on Friday and our nursing relayionship id one of the greastest joys in my life. I cried, I almost gave up every day for 3 months. To the OP, you are doing great. Don't give up!! Look into the tongue tie thing please. It is VASTLY underdiagnosed according to this specilist we saw. Oh and we got DS some CST as well after the clipping. Good LucK!

[momoftworedheads]

I would sell all but the pump that works best for you and definitely get CST. My son has been getting CST since he was 15 months old and it has helped him so much.

Also, go to someone who can diagnose a Tongue tie and you might need to have it clipped. I worked with a mom who had her son's clipped and nursing went much better after that.

All the best, you have done an amazing job nursing your baby so far. I would just get rid of the supplementing if you can( I generally tell moms to try pumping one breast and nursing on the other at the same time to help increase supply).

Take care,

Jen

[claddaghmom]

What would I do? I would do whatever it takes to make sure my child received only human milk. If I couldn't do it mouth to nipple, I would pump. If I couldn't pump enough, I would buy human milk.

Not speaking directly to you: but seriously, what do people consider valuable these days? I know some college kids who spent $800 a piece for a week in Florida. My father in law spends $6 on a pack of foreign cigs. (And he smokes 2-3 packs a day, very bad habit that he is working on). People spend thousands on a new car, when they could easily buy a slightly used or very used one. Heck, my sister splurged $50 on a pair of jeans! :

This is your baby's health, and your health (e.g. breastfeeding reduces the risk of cancers and diabetes). This is concerning health, values, bonding, etc. So what is the price tag? Three pumps? Four pumps? $100? $500? You feel bad b/c others are judging your choice. You think something is important; they disagree.

I think in your situation, you will be able to recoup some of the costs by selling the pumps. Either you are going to succeed and not need them, or not succeed, and still not need them, or only need one.

[lisa1008]

Don't let this overwhelm you, enjoy motherhood, my daughter is 9 months old now and I was enveloped in stress from everything, germs, vaccines, co-sleeping, etc.etc... I wish I had just taken a deep breath and just relaxed because now, everytime I see a tiny little 3 month old, I feel like I lost alot of good memory building times to stress and anxiety. You have really really tried, be proud of yourself.

Just a thought.

[Mz BeeHayvn]

I AM very sympathetic to financial issues.. I am also a massage therapist and understand how hard it is to put out the $ if you don't know if it'll help. I don't work with babies myself, but work with a woman who does cst on babies (and others). IF the CST practitioner you have chosen is ethical, s/he won't make you commit to 4-5 sessions. You can take it session by session to see if it might be helping. The CST is valid for the issues you have described, as well as the hematoma...you wouldn't be lying to hubby to say that's why you wanted to go
I worked with one RMT who had twin babies. The one little girl was born with an eye tracking problem and they were told she would require eye surgery very early. He treated her diligently, and corrected the eye problem... the docs were amazed. Tight tissue is so often overlooked. It sounds like you are a fantastically wonderful, loving considerate mama and I agree with the other mom who said that any precious drop for your ds is a gift. You CAN do it, and you ARE doing it!