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How does your particular spiritual belief help you deal with accepting that bad things happen?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Whatever your beliefs, how do you find they rationalize (if that could be the right term) the terrible things that happen to people, for instance in cases of violence?

How would you explain those ideas to a child at whatever age?

How do you find comfort in these ideas when you feel anxiety?

These are thoughts I find coming up for me right now. I would be interested in others perspective.
post #2 of 12
Well, I'm pagan. I find that it gives me a lot of comfort in the sense that, I view many things as natural, whether due to natural forces, human nature, etc. The way I would describe it to a child is one of three ways:

1.) It was a natural act and sometimes things have to be destroyed to make room for new creation. (i.e. a forest fire, or a tornado, or whatever)

2.) The individual who committed the act of violence was mentally ill / sick / confused etc. (Not trying to start an abortion debate but for example, this woman had an abortion because she felt like she had no other choice, and then talk about ways women in her situation could be given other choices etc)

3.) This act has no rationale but was an act of evil; an act of evil is something that happens when you act without love and compassion; this is a very sad thing. When you act with love it brings you closer to God but if you act without love it brings you further away from God.

My faith brings me comfort in the sense that I see a greater meaning and a compassionate Spirit who is full of Love for all. We are all His/Her children and we have to behave with love for one another and with forgiveness. I don't think God causes pain but I'm sure He is aware of it and brings comfort and spiritual respite to those who ask for it.
post #3 of 12
We are Christian

1. I understand that we live in a world that is fallen and "groaning" under sin and sickness. In the natural world, bad stuff happens and it's part of earthly life but it will not be this way forever.

2. I understand that in order for us to have free choice at all, there are going to be some who choose wrongly. And choices, good or bad, affect others. This is why we have a system of morals and ethics, but we cannnot always ensure that others will follow that system.

3. I believe that although God does not desire suffering for us, he can and does work it out for our ultimate benefit. And we can find meaning and learn to grow through the tough stuff

4. I believe that there will be a day there will be an ultimate accounting of all things, and that after that occurs, those who have chosen to be with God will spend eternity in a state where there will be no more pain or sorrow. That is the hope (and for me, confidence) that carries me through the worst of the worst.

All of these things we explain in bits and peices, as appropriate, to our children, either when they ask or when it's clear they're struggling with something.

And in dealing with the hard times, I first look at what I can learn or gain from it. And second look for ways to change my perspective--many times my rough stuff is minimal compared to others difficulties. And I look at how it will help me in the future to comfort others, having been through it myself.
post #4 of 12
Thread Starter 
I'm loving reading these replies. Making me think a lot. I would be interested in other beliefs too, Unitarian, Gnostic, Buddhist, Sikh, Hindu, Muslim etc and also of course Athiest and all the ones I have missed out!

I'm choosing to teach my daughter about the many responses to these sorts of questions so that she can choose what feels right for her.
post #5 of 12
I am LDS and to add my own two cents I would just say that I usually boil "bad things" down to two reasons:

- The bad thing happened to me as a test to prove my faithfulness or to teach me a spiritual lesson (like patience or love)
- Heavenly Father allowed someone (me, in some cases) to do a bad thing because he allows us all to make choices. If that someone doesn't repent and change, they will be judged and receive the natural consequences of their bad choice.

I'm so thankful that when Heavenly Father judges us for what we've done on this earth that Christ will be our advocate. He suffered for not only our sins, but for all the other pain (physical, emotional) that we have been through. Even when people make really terrible decisions, I know that they will be judged fairly. The people that they hurt with their with their terrible decisions will also be judged fairly. Justice and mercy will both be satisfied in the long run and work together for our good.
post #6 of 12
I'm UU/pagan:

1) " Bad" things in nature like hurricanes and so on just happen as part of the natural cycle. Things are either in growth or decay.

"Bad" things in humans -- like violent crimes, etc. Well, we are all given free choice. Some people choose badly. We can do some things to minimize our risks to being a victim of other people's bad choices (ex: lock doors, don't talk to strangers, etc)

2) How would you explain those ideas to a child at whatever age?

What I would actually tell the child depends on age of child. I would just tell it how I see it using simple language.


3)How do you find comfort in these ideas when you feel anxiety?

Again, with hurricanes or crime -- I do what you can to minimize the risk. Then I just carry on.

A.
post #7 of 12
I'm atheist.

Whatever your beliefs, how do you find they rationalize (if that could be the right term) the terrible things that happen to people, for instance in cases of violence?

IMO, Bad things happen to people for any number of reasons. Usually because the person who commits the act is mentally ill, desperate, or just mean/evil. Natural things happen (hurricanes, floods) because the elements just came together in the right conditions (science).

How would you explain those ideas to a child at whatever age?

I would explain the above ideas in age appropriate ways. IE, the Golden Rule for young children.Basic scientific principles.

How do you find comfort in these ideas when you feel anxiety? I don't really ever feel anxiety about these things often. Crime- I feel comforted by taking precautions to not make myself look like a "good victim" and being aware of my surroundings, prepared to deal with any situation. I stay aware of any exits in public places. For natural events, preparation is key. I live in FL so our big one is hurricanes. We keep cash on hand, food and water. All of our important documents (id, insurance) are in one place (waterproof, fireproof safe). We evacuate every time a hurricane watch/warning is issued. For fires, we have an escape plan from our home and a meet- up area.
post #8 of 12
Bad things are part of the great Story that is unfolding, in which we all have parts to play. This is a Story about humankind as a whole always learning and growing and improving; each of us must try to do Good as much as we can, but because we are humans and not perfect, we must forgive ourselves and each other for the times when we screw up. Many of the "bad" things that happen to individual people have lessons to teach humankind, and that may be God's reason for allowing them to happen; we don't know the mind of God. We can see from some of the stories in the Bible that a bad thing that happened to a person long ago has had a good effect on millions of people who've heard the story.

My religion (Episcopal) teaches that there is more for us than earthly life, and in many ways this life is a separation from God. We need not fear death because after we die, we'll be with God and God will take good care of us. Therefore, dying isn't automatically a bad thing. What's bad about dying is (a) the fear and pain some people suffer in the process and (b) the sadness of people who miss the departed. A family friend died when my son was 3, and he was happy: "John went to his room in God's house. Jesus had it all ready for him! And now John is not sick and hurting any more." Then he was surprised to see the widow crying at the funeral and thought she must not know that John's soul was with God. I explained that she did know but was feeling sad for herself because her special partner that she loved so much was not with her anymore and her life felt so empty without him. We prayed for her to feel God's comfort and peace.

For myself, when I get all knotted up worrying about things in the world, I think of Ash Wednesday: We all are dust, and into dust we'll all return, and although the exact shapes of the dust seem so important, ultimately it doesn't matter very much. This helps me refocus on what's truly important, or at least to stop stressing over my house being so dusty--dude, it's ALL just dust.
post #9 of 12
For a Christian perspective, I *love* Joni Earikson Tada's writings on suffering. She is one neat lady.
post #10 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post
Bad things are part of the great Story that is unfolding, in which we all have parts to play. This is a Story about humankind as a whole always learning and growing and improving; each of us must try to do Good as much as we can, but because we are humans and not perfect, we must forgive ourselves and each other for the times when we screw up. Many of the "bad" things that happen to individual people have lessons to teach humankind, and that may be God's reason for allowing them to happen; we don't know the mind of God. We can see from some of the stories in the Bible that a bad thing that happened to a person long ago has had a good effect on millions of people who've heard the story.

My religion (Episcopal) teaches that there is more for us than earthly life, and in many ways this life is a separation from God.
Gosh, this explanaiton sooo works for me. I'm Jewish (raised Baptist). I've been struggling with these issues for years and have had a hard time finding comfort. This whole idea that "it is not all about me" has really been working on me lately. I really do believe there is a bigger story, and I'm just one little player. Bad things that happen to me and mine are neither totally random nor neccesarily the direct consequences of my actions.

Life as a separation from God - hmmm... For me it is more like God has given me a flashlight to go through the darkness. He only illuminates a little piece of life at a time. Not being able to see the whole picture is scary. But I guess my hope is that upon death I will step into the light rather than be taken in by darkness.
post #11 of 12
I'm Christian (Calvinist, RB).

I find comfort in the fact that God has it under control; that everything, even suffering, has a higher purpose to the extent that if we - even the sufferers - knew The Plan, we'd agree that the suffering was not only necessary but that it couldn't/shouldn't have happened any other way. I like the way EnviroBecca put it in terms of history as story; I've long thought along similar lines.
post #12 of 12
Honestly, I don't find comfort about bad things. Bad things happen and that's a part of life. Doesn't make me feel ok about it.

Bad things s*ck. That's my take on it.
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