First Shots - I'm so sad...

[AnnaNova]

On Wedn, my son who is 2 mo and 19 days will get his first vaccinations... i was initially planning to delay them till he's 6 mo or even a year, but for various reasons (which would have to be a separate mile-long thread) he will get them this week.
This makes me sooo sad... i keep thinking about all the 'what ifs'... of course it would suck if he got seriously sick and it's one of the things that could be prevented with a vaccine, but i dont know if that's worse than him possibly getting sick from a shot... disease is something he 'gets' and you have no or very little influence over it, but a vaccine is something that i have chosen for him, and i this responsibility is so daunting...
he's a healthy and happy bfed baby, so i hope he won't get a bad reaction, but things happen...
a part of me wishes that i could just brave the unknown and not give him any at all, but for all those 'various' reasons mentioned above that certainly won't happen... he still gets selected ones - we're gonna follow dr.sears' 'alternative' schedule, so it only DTaP he gets on Wedn, but still...
anyway... thanx for listening (or rather reading)

[lurve]

there is a forum here at mothering.com that is dedicated just to vaccines. i would recommend checking it out -it has great mamas wih lots of info. and remember, you can always delay giving a vaccine. you can never take back a given vaccine....

[alegna]

If you have this much uncertainty about them, I would strongly suggest you wait and research further.

FWIW both of my kids are entirely unvaxed and very healthy.

How much research have you done on the diseases and the vaccines?

-Angela

[AnnaNova]

dr. sears' 'the vaccine book', forums here on mdc and the links they suggested, www.insidevaccines.com are among the ones i looked at...
it is not as much that im not sure about them, i was hoping to delay much longer, but there's things like possibly attending a daycare (sooooo unfortunately, but i have to find a job - adds on to the whole sadness part), possibly travelling internationally, possibly to a third-world country... and others that make it harder...
i wish i could base my decisions on just the research, but oh no, i cant... he is MY baby, but he also is my husband's son and a beloved grandbaby to his grandparents, im telling you, sometimes it sucks to have a close-knit loving family

[PlayaMama]

it seemed like all those things you mentioned were possibilities, why not wait until they are for sure?

i guess i feel badly that you are feeling sad about it and i'm trying to think of ways to make it better?

anyway, i vaxed my first almost fully but way delayed and my second not at all. i'll probably do some later in childhood if she hasn't caught anything but i'm not too concerned.

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

Please, PLEASE think long and hard (again) about vaccinating such a young baby. Even a minor reaction can have lasting effects when they're so tiny.

I'm unvaxed myself, and am extremely healthy, and have even done foreign travel without any problems. Needless to say, my kids are unvaxed as well. The only disease any of them have ever had that they even make a vaccine for is chicken pox, and we all know that the chicken pox vaccine doesn't work anyway.

Don't let others pressure you into something you're clearly uncomfortable with.

[Magali]

It sounds like you are in a tough position. But I agree with the other posters...you shouldn't make a decision on something this important until you have done more research.

[DaughterOfKali]

If I had known then what I know now, there's no way I would have had my ds vaccinated at such a young age.

Many people are holding off starting vax until the child is 3 (when their immune system is stronger).

I recently found out that my son has an Immune Deficiency (they say he was probably born with it). I wish I had known about it when ds was a baby. I definitely wouldn't have gone through with the vax.

Please do more research before giving your young infant vax.

[churndash]

On the other hand, all of my children received vaccinations on a conventional schedule and are perfectly fine.

I commend you for taking your husband's feelings into consideration on the matter - it's his child too after all.

There are pros and cons to vaccines, just like anything else. The overwhelming odds are that your baby will be just fine.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by AnnaNova

i wish i could base my decisions on just the research, but oh no, i cant... he is MY baby, but he also is my husband's son and a beloved grandbaby to his grandparents, im telling you, sometimes it sucks to have a close-knit loving family

Why would a loving family want you to make uneducated decisions?

-Angela

[Daphneduck]

My DD has been vaxed on schedule and I have no regrets, but if you're not comfortable, wait. It isn't a decision that you can take back and if you and your DH aren't on the same page, thats even more reason to wait, not rush in.
I come from a close knit family, too. I know how that can be a double edge sword but you are this child's mother, his closest and strongest protector and you should not allow yourself to be bullied into making a decision that you are so reluctant to make. You have mommy instincts for a reason and you should follow them.

[Smithie]

1. Both my kids received the DTaP at that age, and were just fine. Honestly, I'd be worrying more about getting in a car accident on the way to the doctor's than about the possible side effects of the shot.

2. I'm very sorry that you have to go back to work so soon.

3. Involved daddies are one thing (the benefit is worth the hassle!), but if you and your dh don't set some VERY, VERY clear boundaries with the grandparents (on both sides!), you will seriously regret it. They can love, they can care, they can babysit - but they don't make parenting decisions. You and your dh need to make decisions together, present the decision as a fait accompli, and then refuse to discuss or debate. This is about so much more than vaxes - it will invade every aspect of your life if you don't put your foot down NOW.

NOW.


NOW.

[churndash]

Why would a loving family want you to make uneducated decisions?

Why is her decision uneducated?

Educated, responsible, loving, intelligent people decide to get vaccines and decide NOT to get vaccines.

Just because someone doesn't make the decision that you would make doesn't mean they are uneducated. Perhaps they just reached a different conclusion than you did.

[AnnaNova]

Originally Posted by PlayaMama

it seemed like all those things you mentioned were possibilities, why not wait until they are for sure?

i guess i feel badly that you are feeling sad about it and i'm trying to think of ways to make it better?

anyway, i vaxed my first almost fully but way delayed and my second not at all. i'll probably do some later in childhood if she hasn't caught anything but i'm not too concerned.

yeah, those things ARE possibilities, but extremely likely ones, and so if (rather when) we have to do it, i wouldnt want to give him a whole bunch at once.
thanx for your support, mamas, its one of the hardest decisions ive ever had to make
as for the family, no they are not extremely vocal about their opinions, but i know how they feel, my entire family is very medical system oriented and no matter how wonderful they all are and helpful, sometimes its just hard...

[AnnaNova]

Originally Posted by churndash

Why is her decision uneducated?

Educated, responsible, loving, intelligent people decide to get vaccines and decide NOT to get vaccines.

Just because someone doesn't make the decision that you would make doesn't mean they are uneducated. Perhaps they just reached a different conclusion than you did.

thanx!!!!

[XanaduMama]

In NM (that's where you are, right?), you DO NOT NEED VAXES for daycare. You can claim a religious OR philosophical exemption: you just need to submit this form: http://www.health.state.nm.us/immuni.../Exemption.pdf

What vaxes would he get that would help him in a "third world country"? Is he more likely to get tetanus there than in the US?

I agree with everyone else. Even if you decide to vaccinate, there's no reason to do it this early: seriously. There's no harm in waiting!!

[Snuzzmom]

Originally Posted by churndash

Why is her decision uneducated?

Educated, responsible, loving, intelligent people decide to get vaccines and decide NOT to get vaccines.

Just because someone doesn't make the decision that you would make doesn't mean they are uneducated. Perhaps they just reached a different conclusion than you did.

THANK YOU.

We researched and went with the regualr schedule* for DS, due to his being in daycare at 5 months and a host of other personal reasons.

Reiterating this sentence from above: "Just because someone doesn't make the decision that you would make doesn't mean they are uneducated."

And for the information of the original poster: My son has been just fine. No adverse reactions, extra heads grown, nothing. There is so much hype surrounding vaxxes on BOTH sides that the best you can do is research, make the decision that best fits your family and situation, and trust yourself.

* ETA: Regular, but spread out. He got everything but he didn't get more than 1-2 at a time.

[Cherry Alive]

My DD is going to get her first vax soon, too. We're doing DTaP and Rotovirus... But what we are doing is having our pediatrician (who is very awesome and supportive of delayed/selective vax) spread the two out over a couple weeks to a month so she doesn't get more than one at a time.

It'll help lessen her chances of a reaction, and if she does have a reaction we will know which one she is sensitive to.

Our pediatrician tells us that some kids do react to DTaP (fevers), but it's one of the most important (Dr. Sears backs this up). It knocks out some pretty nasty stuff, and it is an older vaccine, too (a lot of us probably got it as kids).

We're not doing chicken pox or Hepetitis-B until she is 10 (unless she gets chicken pox before then—then we won't have her vaxed for it at all). It really helps with nosy relatives and reluctant hubbies to have info (I liked Dr. Sears book on vaccines)—as well as an awesome pediatrician who has up-to-date 411 (and loves to educate ) and is respectful of choices.

[kcstar]

My son's 2 mo vaccinations were per the schedule. We spread out some of the later ones, but at 19 mos the only one he's missing is Varicella (which we're happy to delay until he's 12).

I wasn't there for his birth HBV. The first time we vaxed him, he cried so hard I wanted to cry. What I did do was nurse him immediately afterward, and he was okay. He would sometimes get a very low-grade fever the first day or so, treated with Tylenol, but no major adverse reactions.

We started baby sign right away, and at the 4-month vaccination we knew how many shots he'd be getting. We told him before they started, counted down as he got 'em, and said/signed all done when they were. Soon as we did that, he stopped crying (and went for his nursing).

If you use pacifiers, something sweet on them (breastmilk, sugar) can help with the pain.

If you do the rotavirus, I believe that's the liquid. He should be just slightly hungry for that one.

DS is 19-mo-old and a happy, healthy, loving little boy.

[AnnaNova]

as for the ones for travelling, yes he's more likely to get tetnus and also diphtheria (that if we have to travel in winter) and also meningities (sorry if its misspelled) is more likely (thats as far as the ones he has to get now are concerned) ...
he's not getting chickent pox and hep b till 8 or 10, too, and i opted to skip rotavirus... thats as for the ones he has to get now.
my main concern with the daycare is not that shots are required (thanx for the link to the form, btw), but it seems like daycare is very notorious for germ spreading... thanx for all the posts, mamas, im so grateful to hear many different points of view and experiences. i wish i could be like the rest of my family and just do it and consider it a normal part of his medical care, i wish i could be like a lot of people here on mdc and not give them and feel confident and right in this decision, but i keep going back and forth, and the more i read, the more overwhelmed i become ...