Seattle Parenting evaluator and treatment center questions...

[mistymeltzer]

Hello Mamas,
I am hesitant to post this here because this is such a sensitive subject. But I need information, and Im not sure where else to get it.
My daughters father and I are going back to court to modify our parenting plan. It is likely that we will need a parenting evaluator. I have a few names of parenting evaluators and I am wondering if anyone has had any experience with any of them? There names are: Jennifer Keilin, Margo Waldrup, and Jody Nathan. Also, if anyone has had a positive experience with someone else I would love a recommendation.
My other question concerns treatment centers. My daughters father has had some recent drug use and it is likely we (my attorney and I) are going to ask that he be evaluated somewhere and hopefully receive (outpatient?) treatment somewhere. Has anyone had a positive experience (or know anyone who has) anywhere? I could really use some recommendations on this too.
Thank you, thank you, thank you in advance.
Jessica

[BelovedK]

Hi this is being moved to the Tribal areas.

Please take time to review the practitioners guidelines
http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=1064849

[muggles]

I am familiar with one of the names you mention, Jennifer Keilin.  She has experience working with folks alcohol / chemical background, and as a result will tend to write a report favoring them:  eg.  their chemical / alcohol dependency does not affect their parenting.  You, the parenting without the dependency issue, needs to become more understanding and supportive of the chemical / alcohol dependent parent.  and / or  You, the parent without the dependency issue, needs to stop bringing up this issue to the courts attention as it can contribute to alienating your child from the other parent:  something that can warrent removing the child from Your care (the non-dependent parent).

Yes you heard me correctly.  I have just now recently heard of a 3rd case (in the past couple of years), where a mother had to hire an attorney to defend herself against an unfavorable report written by the afformentioned Evaluator who recommended the child be removed from her care, and put immediately into the full time care of the father (with a known alcohol problem).

[Joy2005]

I just want to alarm all you litigants/parents out there the risk of hiring these PE's: they enrich few families with their capricious recommendation (even a broken clock is right twice a day) and in the end, might tear your family apart in ways you never thought possible.  Read this article and learn what you're about to enter into.

http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Families-futures-decided-with-little-oversight-1246098.php

ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WILL BENEFIT FROM YOUR CHOICE OF HIRING AN EVALUATOR ARE THOSE THAT COLLECT YOUR MONEY BY THE HOUR.  THOSE THAT WILL NOT WHETHER YOU OR EX WINS: YOU, YOUR EX, AND YOUR CHILDREN.  GAMBLE AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Both parties' lawyers, who will gamble with your life while collecting your money (unless your lawyers name happens to be Cynthia Whitaker, Janet George, or other well-known lawyers who will vilify these PEs if the PEs bust their meal ticket, i.e. you, the paying party and issue a nasty report against you.  If you got these women lawyers in your pocket, you just won a lotto ticket in custody fight.  Hiring these women lawyers and PEs sharply increase your chance of getting custody, because they are members of the same club: the benefactor of your ca$h and all know and work with each other for years)

These PEs are mostly women, will take your side if you're similar to them(education, lifestyle, race...etc) and take your husband's side if something in your personality or behavior they dislike.  Your perceived "flaws" could be arbitrary or real.  It could turn into a girl-on-girl bloodbath.

Here are a few more names for you to gamble with:  Laurie Olson, Pam Edgar, Marsha Hedrick...etc.  Let the bashing begin.

PS: the worst one out of the bunch is MARGO WALDROUP.

Edited by Joy2005 - 11/11/11 at 5:34pm

[At-A-Glance]

By all means, do not use or allow others to use Pam Edgar.  Her process, thoughts and recommendations are almost scary they are so off base and poorly constructed.  She is easily manipulated, "sides" with whomever is willing to tell the most lies and has hurt more than one family.  Stay away.

[maelo206]

My experience with Margo Waldroup led me to believe that her incompetence knows no bounds and that she does little more than bow and scrape to the almighty dollar. I feel sorry for her therapy clients...

[ilovemychildren]

I do not know what to do.  I was not smart and hired an inexpensive divorce lawyer thinking I had truth on my side.  I am now 100% reliant on Pam Edgar to do our parenting evaluation. Let me add she was hand-picked by my ex-husband’s expensive vicious lawyer and it is scary how much power she will have.  What is she looking for?  I have been an amazing mother, not a very nice wife, and am now fighting for my kids when the commissioner even said he thought I was a good mother but wanted this evaluation because my ex wanted it and said he would pay 100% of the cost.  I have piles of emails, pictures, documentation that was never presented in court and I cannot decide to focus on that or focus on talking about my kids?  I appreciate any advice I feel so helpless through all of this.

[Loving Cesar]

Hi....Ladies I'm a Mama of a beautiful 3 year old little boy.  I went through the pregnancy alone after fleeing a terrible relationship.  My son's father went back to his ex girlfriend and moved to San Fran.  In the mean time I went through a high risk pregnancy alone.  Happily alone with my unborn child.  We made it through moving to Costa Rica and back before nestling into a comfortable apartment on 23rd and Madison.  The day before I gave birth to my wonderful son I rode the bus to UW and was turned away false alarm.  Later that night my water broke.  I didn't have a car and was alone so I called a taxi and had to convience them to come get me.  Seventeen hours later I gave birth to my best friend.  Meanwhile his father was in the mist of a miserable situation while out of town his girlfriend aborted his baby.  This caused stress on their relationship. 

When my son was 8 weeks old I contacted his father via email.  Told him how we were doing, sent him and picture.  In a sense, I was extending the olive branch.  He responded very coldly and asked for a paternity test.  I got scarred of a possible battle over my little little precious child, I did not respond.

Three months later my son's father's sister-in-law contacted me and we started a friendship.  Next thing you know my son's father contacted me.  He was super sweet, concerned, and wanted to take Ces and I to dinner.  He came up from San Fran and took us to dinner when my son was 6 months old. 

The next week he left his girlfriend and moved up to Seattle and pursued a relationship with me.  Though I had a bad past with him I was willing to try out of the hope of making a bigger family for my son.

Within two months my son's father had returned to the guy I had left while pregnant.  He was overbearing, controlling, and manipulative. 

He moved into his own apartment and demanded visiation.  I was still breast feeding and his father had no experience parenting,  I offered Tues and Thursday from 3-5. He accepted. 

Two months later he started to date a lady a couple years old with no children. Though I would not be aware of her involvement for another 6 months.

At this point things start to get ugly.  Cesar's father wanted me to discontinue breast feeding so my son could spend more time with him. 

Pushing over nights.

Finally, about a year later I'm served with court documents.  He is proposing that the courts take my son from me and give him sole discussing making and limit my visitation to every other weekend.

In court the judge is like what's the problem and my son's father's lawyer began an attack on the core of my character.  I'm a preschool teacher, educated, well liked.  My son's father's lawyer propose a parent evalutation, AND THE WILL PAY FOR IT

[Loving Cesar]

First evaluation I fought and she was told by the judge to re interview my witnesses.  She didn't.  Second evaluation again is  full of inaccurate information and Pam Edger is suggestion to the court my son should move in with his dad and new wife on false alligations.  My son has always lived with me, she is suggesting him be uprooted from his community, school, and daycare.  Please, I need some people who know this lady Pam Edgar for being the evil human being she is to come forward.  We have to do something.....can't let this happen to anyone else.

[ilovemychildren]

I am meeting with Pam Edgar tomorrow. Do you have any suggestions? I have a similar story of an absentee father making false allegations and now I may lose my sons too. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

[Loving Cesar]

Hi friend, I'm so sorry to hear this is happening in your life.  I see you have already seen Pam Edgar, sorry it took me so long to get back to you.  Its not too late for me to help.  I have met with her on four separate occasions and have studied how she conducts her investigation.  Everything you talked about in the interview back up by sending it in document form.  If you have proof of anything send her copies of it.  She will have a harder time making up stories if you have proof you can supply a judge that the information was giving to her.  I'm willing to help anyone who has to deal with this human being.  Please contact me and I'll do everything I can.  We have to stop this woman from destroying children's lives.

[pljh]

I am just in the process of hiring a divorce lawyer.  You mention you hired an inexpensive attorney.  Who did you hire?!  Are you worried she is not competant?

[pranamama]

One option is to hire a GAL instead of a PE. 

Good luck ladies with your court cases :)