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Thanks...MIL's choices lately...are sitting better with me now :) - Page 2

post #21 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
I agree she should absolutely not take them out without boosters! I don't know why some older folks forget this with older kids! I would get her two to leave there. Maybe even put them in her car.

Even for 3 hours a week, however, I think she should be able to take them along for errands or to be shown off to the other grannie (is that where they went?) My mother used to teach driving, lol, so I totally trusted her to drive them around town. No big deal. She took them for ice cream, or to her sister's and mother'. Unless she's a bad driver, i wouldn't make this an issue. She loves the grandkids, and they seem to love her, so I wouldn't make waves in the relaionship thee. Over the boosters, however, yes.
I agree. I think she should be able to take them to Nana's, or out to ice cream. I have never had a problem with it, so long as she does so in a legal and safe manner! I think my biggest issue is the not telling me the truth part. It makes me worry that she would think it okay to take them on trips I wouldn't be okay with (like I mentioned earlier).

Regarding the "unless she...bad driver...". I am not sure where I stand here. For one, she made a poor judgement call when she put BOTH of my kids booster-less in the car. Second, she didn't call (she knows I would have been able to take her call, we've talked about it). And, third, she has become incredibly forgetful...losing things, forgetting things, etc. So, maybe she isn't such a safe driver anymore .
post #22 of 56
If you can't buy boosters, would she 'trade' cars with you for those 3 hours? So, you leave your car, with the properly installed seats in case she wants to go somewhere, and take hers to tutor?
post #23 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
If you can't buy boosters, would she 'trade' cars with you for those 3 hours? So, you leave your car, with the properly installed seats in case she wants to go somewhere, and take hers to tutor?
She probably would...so long as Papa (FIL) doesn't know about it. These people have car-control issues.
post #24 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post
Oh, and I am not buying her any boosters. Just can't do that. As it is, I need an extra set here for the kids I watch, so that's not an option. I'd rather pay a sitter. MIL has money coming out of her ears.

Thanks everyone. I will leave the boosters regardless of what she says from now on (if they still continue to go there). It's not much trouble, and way cheaper than just buying another set...I can't "just buy" anything these days.
Would she buy them, you think?
post #25 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Village Mama View Post
It is a great idea to leave the boosters. I try to keep ours with the kids just in case of emergency even. Both of my boys have asthma though, and the youngest has had a handful of concussions. I get my hubby to leave the carseats with us when he goes to work so that I have them in case of emergency. We do the same if we leave them with anyone.
That's a good point. I used to think that way. I guess I don't think about it anymore...though taking an injured kid to the hospital without a booster wouldn't trouble me as much, and I am sure she'd call as well. Maybe that's why I don't think about that situation.
post #26 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
Would she buy them, you think?
I am actually surprised she hasn't. She has two sets of grandkids, and every car they've bought lately has been "large enough to carry the kids" intentionally. Hmmm, I wonder....maybe now she would see it as a benefit.
post #27 of 56
Never mind. I know better.
post #28 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post
Oh, and I am not buying her any boosters. Just can't do that. As it is, I need an extra set here for the kids I watch, so that's not an option. I'd rather pay a sitter. MIL has money coming out of her ears.

.
I understand the frustration of knowing your kids were driven without carseats. Totally. But I don't understand why You can't buy two inexpensive boosters to leave there, but you can afford a babysitter?

Grandma's like to show off their kids. And it's really fun to do stuff with grandma! Don't expect them to just sit at the house...let them build relationships in their own manner.
post #29 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post
That's a good point. I used to think that way. I guess I don't think about it anymore...though taking an injured kid to the hospital without a booster wouldn't trouble me as much, and I am sure she'd call as well. Maybe that's why I don't think about that situation.
Right ... necessary safety equipment needs to stay with the children who need it, period. It's not overwhelmingly responsible of someone to take a child who needs a booster seat out without one, but it's also not overwhelmingly responsible to leave children who need them without them. It sounds like the thinking in whole scenario needed a shake-up anyway.
post #30 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by Multimomma View Post
I understand the frustration of knowing your kids were driven without carseats. Totally. But I don't understand why You can't buy two inexpensive boosters to leave there, but you can afford a babysitter?

Grandma's like to show off their kids. And it's really fun to do stuff with grandma! Don't expect them to just sit at the house...let them build relationships in their own manner.

IF Grandma is so eager to show off her grandkids, then why can' SHE buy a couple of inexpensive booster seats? Or at least ONE?
post #31 of 56
It would probably be a good idea to buy Grandma some boosters, or have her do it herself.

They don't need to be anything overly fancy. Backless boosters are pretty easy for grandparents to figure out and are pretty inexpensive.
Here is a link to a 2-pack. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/produ...ct_id=10745675
post #32 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post
Oh, and I am not buying her any boosters. Just can't do that. As it is, I need an extra set here for the kids I watch, so that's not an option. I'd rather pay a sitter. MIL has money coming out of her ears.

Thanks everyone. I will leave the boosters regardless of what she says from now on (if they still continue to go there). It's not much trouble, and way cheaper than just buying another set...I can't "just buy" anything these days.
I was thinking that she might buy booster seats, if it's important to take your kids out. Hard to suggest this without being confrontational, though. Maybe just leave your seats EVERY TIME so she has no excuse not to use them. All the other advice you've gotten on "the talk" is good, too.
post #33 of 56
I would seriously reconsider whether or not you can trust her judgment. It sounds like, with the food thing, she doesn't respect your parenting choices, which isn't deadly with junk food, but can be with carseats and other things.
post #34 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post
Oh, and I am not buying her any boosters. Just can't do that. As it is, I need an extra set here for the kids I watch, so that's not an option. I'd rather pay a sitter. MIL has money coming out of her ears.

Thanks everyone. I will leave the boosters regardless of what she says from now on (if they still continue to go there). It's not much trouble, and way cheaper than just buying another set...I can't "just buy" anything these days.
You can get a booster seat for $20 dollars. That's how much my extra one for each child cost. If she is so well off why not ask her to buy some boosters. Make it a big thing, like, "I appreciate you watching the kids so much but I don't want you to feel confined to the house when they are with you. I don't have the money to buy extra boosters right now so I was wondering if you would be willing to buy some so that you and the kids have more freedom."
post #35 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post

Okay, now I have to gear up to have a talk, possibly look into hiring a babysitter, and potentially causing alot of grief in the family....
I think you are overreacting. Yes, she did a really stupid thing. But people make mistakes. I don't think she was acting maliciously. I think she honestly thought it was okay, just this once. Obviously it wasn't but why can you just be a calm adult and sit down and calmy discuss it with her. To basically tell her she's unfit to care for your children? Wow.
post #36 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by syn_ack89 View Post
For me, the grief of hiring a babysitter is better than the grief of a dead or seriously injured child. The going without boosters would be a deal-breaker for me...especially because she DOES know better.
Don't you think that is a little overdramatic? She made a mistake, ONE time. Why not just talk to her calmly? Why look for a huge fight when there doesn't need to be one.
post #37 of 56
I would leave booster seats for her (actually this is what we did). Many parents even today are hard pressed to see the need for carseats for a 4 and six year old and wouldn't consider it a necessity. how much more for our parents generation? It sounds like she will use them if she has them even if she doesn't see the big deal. So to avoid the temptation of her just blowing off car seats as a "nice if you have them but not necessary at this age every once in a while" sort of thing I would just make sure she has some. it may seem like a big expense but if you are getting free babysitting it is a good pay off. You could easily pay for a booster with what you would pay for a week of childcare . . . . and sometimes mending family relationships is worth $20-$40. of course if you don;t mind taking them out of your car every time I guess that's not a big deal either. either way solves the problem. but it kinda sounds like you are looking for an excuse for her to not watch them anyway . . . .
post #38 of 56
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heavenly View Post
Don't you think that is a little overdramatic? She made a mistake, ONE time. Why not just talk to her calmly? Why look for a huge fight when there doesn't need to be one.
I don't think it's dramatic. Anything can happen. That's life.
And, she has done it more than once, and has been asked not to do it again.

Like I said, she is forgetful, loses things,a nd does things she knows we don't feel comfortable with.
post #39 of 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by dillonandmarasmom View Post
Oh, and I am not buying her any boosters. Just can't do that. As it is, I need an extra set here for the kids I watch, so that's not an option. I'd rather pay a sitter. MIL has money coming out of her ears.

Thanks everyone. I will leave the boosters regardless of what she says from now on (if they still continue to go there). It's not much trouble, and way cheaper than just buying another set...I can't "just buy" anything these days.
I am a little confused. In the post immediately before this, you said you could afford to pay a babysitter instead of getting free babysitting from your MIL. But you can't afford two booster seats? I'd much rather my children be cared for by someone who truly loves them. And babysitters could make mistakes too. I'd just buy the booster seats and ask her to use them from now on.
post #40 of 56
Quote:
It is a great idea to leave the boosters. I try to keep ours with the kids just in case of emergency even. Both of my boys have asthma though, and the youngest has had a handful of concussions. I get my hubby to leave the carseats with us when he goes to work so that I have them in case of emergency. We do the same if we leave them with anyone.
ITA I never leave my kids with anyone without a car seat in case there is an emergency (well none of them are in boosters anymore but when they were. . . . ). Also if I am leaving my kids with adults they are free to drive them where ever they want. I would never dream of making an adult sitter ask me permission to take my kids somewhere . . . Is this just about the car seats or is it because she didn't ask your permission to go somewhere with your kids? I don't know, it just seems like you would rather she not babysit any more. but to be honest I have had far more problems with non relative babysitters making stupid choices than grandparents.
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