DS goes to BD every other weekend, and spends one night with him. The first time, DS came back in the same underwear, pants, and socks, but a different shirt. This last time, DS came back in the exact same outfit. It was washed, but not appropriate for the weather (when I sent him it was 70's, when next day was down in 50's and rainy, NOT T-shirt weather). I sent BD an email asking to please change DS clothes and make sure they are appropriate for the weather. I told him even if he washes the clothes, to change them, because we are trying to get DS to understand that he needs to change his clothes every day (especially socks and underwear). BD wrote back and basically implied that the clothes DS has at his house (from him) need to stay at his house. I think DS should have ONE wardrobe between the two houses, BD would keep what DS wore on Sat. and send him back in something different on Sunday, and keep the cycle like that. I remember when I was growing up my step mom was very anal about keeping my clothes from them at my dad's house (I lived with my dad), and when I would come back from a visit with my mom, I would get grilled on where clothes were. I guess I don't know what is "normal"? I mean, they're just clothes, but I don't want DS to feel the separation and alienation I felt over something like this. Not only that, but I have enough to keep track of, without worrying where the shirt is that BD sent him home in. Now, I can understand for a special occasion, or there was a time recently when BD asked me to send DS in a specific shirt, and I did, I think that's normal, but having "Mom's house clothes" and "Dad's house clothes" seems a bit extreme??
post #1 of 33
4/21/09 at 2:50pm