My stepdaughter's Mother seems to think that every single thing my stepdaughter owns belongs at HER house, regardless of who bought it, regardless of how new it is, how expensive it was, how special it was (like the sweater my Grandmother made for my stepdaughter that got "lost" at her Mother's house) and regardless of how many times we ask for it back. If we want my stepdaughter to have weather appropriate clothes and the right sized clothes, we have three options- 1. keep buying her clothes, knowing that an average of 4-6 outfits will disappear per month, most likely to never be seen again, at her Mother's house, 2. dress my stepdaughter in my son's hand-me-downs, (someone on this thread said something about being angry that their child's Father dresses their child in his girlfrield's child's hand-me-downs, but I'm not sure I understand why- we try to avoid it because of my stepdaughter's preference, but if she didn't mind, or if she was a boy as well, most her wardrobe would be hand-me-downs), or option 3. is for us to limit as much as possible the clothes that we buy going to my stepdaughter's Mother's house. My stepdaughter has pretty much taken it into her own hands- "Remind me to change this shirt/take this bracelet off before I go back to my Mother's house. She never lets me bring them back."
It would be nice if we could just have one wardrobe for my stepdaughter, cheaper, too, but it's just not doable anymore. We've pretty much completely replaced my stepdaughter's wardrobe for our house twice this last year. We've bought almost in the way of clothes for our son in the last two years. We don't have the money. She gets new clothes, because her clothes "disappear" at her Mother's house, and our son's "reward" for not having his clothes disappear it to wear the same old, getting too small clothes, because we can't afford to completly replenish both children's clothes. (And yes, the situation has been brought the my stepdaughter's Mother's attention, why we need the clothes back so urgently, but she doesn't care- it's not HER problem.