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Forcing your kids to wear certain clothes. - Page 2

post #21 of 133
DD is 2.5 years old. She doesn't dress herself yet. Generally in the morning I pick out two weather appropriate outfits and let her pick. I try to do things that are mix and match so that when she says I want this shirt with those pants I can say sure without it bugging me. Periodically she declines both outfits and we pick something else out together. This is pretty uncommon. She's more likely to just go back and forth and back and forth between the two outfits.

She owns 3 pairs of shoes at the moment. Two sandals and a covered toe pair. Generally I let her pick between at least 2 if not all 3 shoes. I do insist on socks with the closed toe shoes, but it's never been a fight. All 3 pairs are very comfortable flexible soled shoes.

DD does have pretty strong opinions about her clothes. I try to make sure her wardrobe reflects her tastes. She's very into orange. I got two pairs of sandals - one orange and one white. I knew she'd be thrilled to have orange sandals. Her wardrobe includes lots of orange. She loves butterflies, so I often get her clothes with butterflies on them.

I do often force clothes on her, but it's not about the clothing item. She's 2.5 years old, and often does the age appropriate fight against putting on clothes, changing her diaper, etc. I insist she wear clothes, change wet and dirty diapers, and such. It's part of taking care of her. At home, naked time is fine. Playing in the backyard on the swing set in a mulch filled play area, getting in the car to go to the library, park, grocery store, etc, she needs clothes on. :
post #22 of 133
What does astound me are the number of parents here who think school uniforms are great.
My DD wears a school uniform. She loves it I actually have a hard time getting her to change out of it into general play clothes after school. . I wore uniforms growing up (till I was in High school) I thought they were the bomb. I don't buy into the idea a school uniform equals a better student of course but honestly yea I do think there kinda great..
On the shoe things OMG I'd so not care if they matched actually I have serched the ends of the earth finding a shoe DD doesn't crumple into tears over and she can stil run and jump.play in. We use the mary jane style crocks here. There blue she uses them with everything.

post #23 of 133
I only "force" him to wear certain clothes if it's dangerous to him not to - like he has to wear sneakers for a walk in the woods, and his winter coat if it's below 40. That, and I like him to start the day with clean clothes. Beyond that, anything's fair game. (And his train shirt gets a LOT of wear!)
post #24 of 133
It's not that I don't think it's my right to dress my kids, it's that I don't want to take the time/energy to fight over clothes...I have much better things to do with my time, thanks. So if it's appropriate (we have rules, like no shorts if it's below 65, no sweaters if it's over 85, playground/PE appropriate shoes on school days... and I do not let Janelle wear clothes that shows of her stomach or is falling off her shoulders, cause 6 year olds do not need to wear clothes like that) and it fits, they can wear it.

A good example is Janelle LOVES naartjie clothes...I hate it, all of it, I think it looks ridiculous... But over half of her summer wardrobe is naartjie, cause she's wearing it, not me! Kincaid would wear button down shirts, swearter vests, and khakis every single day, again, I think that looks a little silly for pre-school...but he's wearing it, not me!
post #25 of 133
Originally Posted by EFmom View Post
What does astound me are the number of parents here who think school uniforms are great.
I do think uniforms are great...it eliminates one aspect of teasing in the class room, which in KINDERGARTEN is already a big deal. : We don't have uniforms though.
post #26 of 133
I think uniforms arte great too, but they are only in high schools here. I wore uniforms in high school, and am very glad.

Of course, our uniforms consists of several different styles of shirts in at least 3 colours, pants, shorts, skirts, so there was always choices.
post #27 of 133
Kids need to feel in control of some aspects of their lives, and letting them pick what they want to wear is a really harmless way to let them do that! I believe they ought to wear their hair like they want to, as soon as they are voicing an opinion about how they want it.
post #28 of 133
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
DS2 attended a homelearning meetup a couple of months ago wearing one of dd's old nightgowns, which is like a slightly long shirt or tunic on him. He wore it with his jeans, and insisted that it was "chainmail". I'm good with that, too.
This gave me such a chuckle! DS does similar things, only all of his wardrobe concoctions are sports related. He wears gloves constantly, the cheap stretchy kind, and insists they are batting gloves, golf gloves, hockey gloves, etc.

DS is 3 and dresses himself each day. He has been picking his clothes out for a while now, maybe since he was two, but now he can do the dressing and undressing too. I actually love it. I can't wait to see what he is wearing when he disappears to his room to pick out his outfit. He doesn't match things, they have to go together for function or to imitate a sports figure he has seen. Right now he has to have a certain pair of cargo shorts that can hold a baseball in the pocket so that he can be the umpire. He'll decide which sport he wants to play for the day, and his outfit becomes his uniform. It very often results in some questionable fashion statements, but he is 3. I expect it. There are so few things that kids have control over, why not let them control what they want to put on their bodies? Sure, it kind of drives me nuts that he won't put his underwear on the right way, but I get it. The characters are on the butt and he wants to be able to look down and see them. It makes sense.
post #29 of 133
The only time I will limit what my daughter wears is when it's a safety issue, not weather approptiate (and then I usually just suggest that we make sure to bring her jacket or sweater) or when she's going to school where they have uniforms.

Ds is 2 and thinks that two pairs of pants (one on his head, one on his legs) is a perfect outfit, so I do limit that.
post #30 of 133
I think it is dumb to get into a power struggle over matching shoes. I hope moms doing that relax and save their energy for the more important things.
I did some dumb things when my dd was younger too.

I wonder if she does it because she feels judged as a mother based on her dc's appearance or she was made fun of for her clothes growing up? There's probably something at the root of it.
post #31 of 133
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Biscuits & Gravy View Post
Sure, it kind of drives me nuts that he won't put his underwear on the right way, but I get it. The characters are on the butt and he wants to be able to look down and see them. It makes sense.
Oh my! I cannot wait to have a boy. That just cracked me up.
post #32 of 133
My DS has just started to care/ comment about wanting certain clothes over others. I pick out his clothes the night before just to facilitate the morning routine, but if he says, "I want the blue shirt!" I will get it. I haven't had any clothing safety issues come up yet, other than him not wanting to wear a jacket when it's cold out. And that problem usually solves itself when he steps outside and gets cold.
post #33 of 133
I have the OPPOSITE problem with my DS over shoes. He wants to wear uncomfortable, completely impractical slippery COWBOY BOOTS all the time. I'm saying "Please! Sneakers!" I let him wear the cowboy boots to school (where he can choose to hang out in socks or slippers most of the day) but I say no to cowboy boots at the playground for safety reasons. Otherwise, he is shod to hop in the saddle...

He also likes to wear a great-big rhinestone belt with it .

Mind you, we do live out west, but we are Jewish. And from New York. We all get a chuckle out of our Rhinestone Cowboy.

But seriously, the only time I regulate clothes are safety reasons or extreme weather. And I wouldn't make him wear shoes that hurt. That's just mean.
post #34 of 133
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
My kids wear what they want, including flip flops to the playground or whatever. If it is cold and theyd on't want tow ear a coat, I bring one because I know they will change their minds real quick.
Same here. My DD even wears flip flops in the freezing cold.
post #35 of 133
My two year old dresses herself like 90% of the time. Sometimes she ends up with shirts inside out or leg warmers on her arms. One day she insisted on wearing two shoes that didn't match. I wasn't about to fight with her about something so trivial. Whatever floats her boat!
post #36 of 133
that sounds like a mean mama (in the op)
post #37 of 133
personally im just happy when my kids are wearing clothes...
post #38 of 133
you mamas are awesome. i can't wait for dd to start expressing her desires to wear certain things... then SHE can be the one to argue with her grandma about the beautiful but also horrid frilly dresses my mom puts on my daughter. sigh. she doesn't see grandma much, so i try to let it go...
of course, if dd wants to wear such things i would be happy to let her, in much the same way that she can wear purple and orange or backwards underwear if she so desires.
post #39 of 133
I only dictate clothing choices based on safety, appropriateness for the weather (DS would live in turtleneck shirts but it was 100 degrees today, so I told him "no") or really special ocasions (weddings).

But my kids don't really seem to care what they wear, other then DS and his turtlenecks. They wear what I pick out without arguement.
post #40 of 133
As long as the clothes fit properly and are weather appropriate, I don't care what ds1 wears. The only thing I really have o force is socks with his tennis shoes... oh, and he MUST wear his shoes outside if it's cold. I've found him outside bare footed in about 50 degree weather, which is too cold for bare feet, imo.
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