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It's Apparent You're A Parent When... - Page 6

post #101 of 155
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post #102 of 155
when your stomach growls in church, and everyone thinks it was the baby filling his diaper. . .
post #103 of 155
When you go to work on Monday and when asked what exciting things you did this weekend, your answer is you went grocery shopping by yourself.
post #104 of 155
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
when your stomach growls in church, and everyone thinks it was the baby filling his diaper. . .
Funny side story...I took my DS to church for the first time today. We were doing communion and when the choir paused between songs he let out the biggest, nastiest sounding fart ever. I could have died!!
post #105 of 155
when your (childless) company picks up a nugget of chocolate off the floor and realizes it's not ..... chocolate
post #106 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Funny side story...I took my DS to church for the first time today. We were doing communion and when the choir paused between songs he let out the biggest, nastiest sounding fart ever. I could have died!!
just wait till he's three, and can announce after said fart. . ."Mommy, I pass GAAASSSSS!!!"
post #107 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jojo F. View Post
These are great!!

When you get puked on and you don't even consider changing, just rub it in!!

When YOU smell like baby puke because it's still in your hair.

When you are bouncing/rocking your whole body when you aren't wearing your baby.
I rub it in, too!

Tonight, while DS started crying while DH was holding him, I started rocking/bouncing the bowl of lunch I was holding!
post #108 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
Funny side story...I took my DS to church for the first time today. We were doing communion and when the choir paused between songs he let out the biggest, nastiest sounding fart ever. I could have died!!
My DS did this our second time to church!

Mine:

...When you clip your nails shorter so your LO can chew on them without hurting his mouth.
post #109 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirstenb View Post
When you go to work on Monday and when asked what exciting things you did this weekend, your answer is you went grocery shopping by yourself.
Or when your husband asks what you did today you can't think of a single thing, and so answer lamely, "Well... I did the dishes...." :

When you're holding an armful of laundry and have to stop for a moment to take care of something else, you start rocking it and even kiss it because the only other thing you hold like that is your baby.
post #110 of 155
I have actually kissed my own shoulder!
post #111 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirstenb View Post
When you go to work on Monday and when asked what exciting things you did this weekend, your answer is you went grocery shopping by yourself.
Yes. Grocery shopping alone is a rare treat for me.
post #112 of 155
...when there is a little child on his hands and knees drinking out of the dog-cat water dish.
post #113 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirstenb View Post
You don't remember the last time you went to the bathroom with the door shut.

You exclaim "A bike!" every time you see one because DS is so infatuated with them, even when you are by yourself.
YES! both of these!
I don't remember the last time I peed without an audience!!
&

A DOG! look! It's a DOG! WOOF! WOOF!
post #114 of 155
-when you hand the baby to your DH so you can use the restroom and he has to come retrieve you because you have fallen asleep on the toilet
post #115 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
- You've ever tried to reason with a newborn "There's no way you're hungry. Mommy just fed you 10mins ago."
! all the time with my 6 month old!

When you have dinner with two other couples, one who also has a newborn on their laps, the other couple is newly engaged. The parents talk about poop the whole meal, then your LO (who has been nursing this whole time) spits up all down your back (which also lands on the floor with an audible SPAT), and the un-parents get up and politely exit. Later on, clearing the dishes, you realize that the un-parents didn't finish half their food. And they aren't interested in coming to dinner the next week.
post #116 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jojo F. View Post
When you are bouncing/rocking your whole body when you aren't wearing your baby.
I rock anything - i could be standing in line at the store, without kids, not holding anything, and still be swaying back and forth :


Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyMomma View Post
When you find yourself spelling out words to your DP, no kids in sight.
If it wasnt for kids - my spelling would still stink! Thanks to kids - i can spell anything now (no - i'm not kidding - my spelling is terrible, and it actually has improved since having kids!)


Quote:
Originally Posted by mamatoablessing View Post
...when you're not sure if the brown spot on your arm is chocolate or poop and then you lick it to find out.
Sniff it first - that's what i do!

Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
well, he says it tastes good. . .
he likes to eat lotion in general, though. . . and I don't know why.
My middle child ate stick deodorant when she was 2 1/2 - LOL - apparently that taste good too (or maybe it was the scent of it?). Poison control assured me, 3 times i called in, that she'd have to eat more then 1 stick to be poisoned (good to know!

which adds: You have Poison control on speed dial!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by jojojojojo View Post
* When you find yourself listening to or singing kids' songs even when there's nobody else around.
Doesn't ever grown adult love Laurie Berkner? :
post #117 of 155
When you and DP are driving in the car with no children but there is a CD playing singing "the wheel on the bus go...." and you dont realize for at least a mile, YOU DONT HAVE TO PLAY THIS!!!!

When most of the DVR recordings are of kid shows

you have picked up vomit. A lot.

When both of you are so tired and DH mixes breastmilk into his coffee without even realizing it. Yes, done this.

When you can have a serious discussion regarding peeing and pooping. Enough said.

You plan your day around the poop schedule and nap time.

When you use the term potty without children around.

When you make sure everyone including your DP has gone potty before leaving. and it is potty btw!!

Sleeping late is 7am. Going to bed late is 11pm

Going to a restrnt without menus that come with crayons is heaven.

You spend your extra money on webkinz.

You indoor/backyard decor is done by Little Tyke and Rainbow systems.

You can go into any room in your house and play.

You have Good Night Moon memorized. "and the quiet old lady whispering..."

You can now spell things quickly and to another adult and understand when they spell it out to you. Sadly, when you child is about 6, they can now understand too....

You have been kicked in the boobs, belly, crotch, leg, any other place by a 6 mo old cosleeper at your side. And so has DP. My DH has had his chest hair pulled etc.

You finally get a date night out and all you guys talk about is your L/O!

I could go on and on....
post #118 of 155
... when you no longer carry a purse coz it keeps getting full of rocks, stilcks and leaves.

instead you carry a wallet that has feathers adn little treasures like beads, confetti falling out of it.

my dd is 6 1/2. i am back in school full time so i have a heavy back pack. and i find myself still... STILL swaying if i hold the backpack in front if i had to take something out.

... when your grammar dramatically improves.
post #119 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by tjjazzy View Post

*when you barely notice the baby smears across your glasses anymore; just peer around them to type
Oh god yes. The grabby six month old and his giant, usually slobbery, Hulk strengthed hands and my glasses. good times.

You know you are a parent of a grabby infant when you've just put away the dangly earrings for the time being and went with studs, or none.
post #120 of 155
When you find yourself making a round of calls to all the important people in your life, (i.e., daddy at work, grandma on her cell, grandad at work, and best friend who is also a mother) to allow the little one to make the all-grand announcment of:..








a successful poop on the potty.

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