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It's Apparent You're A Parent When... - Page 4

post #61 of 155
when in laws share their "..so I licked it and it was poo" stories, you say "I haven't YET." but totally understand how it happens now.

"please put you penis away" and "stop wiping your penis on the couch." are often uttered without raising an eyebrow.

and a stroller walk means that both you and dc push your own stroller....no dc in the stroller.
post #62 of 155
*When you're in the habit of pulling your skirt up to your knees and looking down before you start walking, to make sure there's no-one hiding under it

*When glitter has become contraband that will not enter your house on pain of death

*When you spend five minutes looking for your kids in the mall, only to remember that you're actually shopping alone, for once (except I was shopping for maternity clothes! )

*When you're kneeling in the driveway scrubbing melted chocolate out of the Mercedes' beige carpet, only to have someone come up behind you and squirt you in the butt with the garden hose
post #63 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by geiamama View Post
You know you're a parent when your hot drink is always stone cold by the time you drink it and you eat biscuits (cookies) really quietly in teh kitchen so that you don't have to share! :

Yup!!

Or when you get peed on and you think, it's OK, it will dry
post #64 of 155
OOHHHH I can so relate, great thread

Catching vomit....check
sleeping in pee............check
sniffing, not licking to check for chocolate or poo.......check
eating spit food (gnawed donuts, bagels, etc).......check
covering everyong all night long...............check
booboo kisses to all..............check
singing kid songs all day.......check
washing faces with thumb and spit........check
more penis talk than I could ever imagine............check
feeling cheeky for staying up past ten...........check
sex????????............check
helping grown up friends cross the road..........check


and to add........getting a reputation at work for ensuring collegues have nutritious snacks.

doing up DH's jacket zipper without noticing till he informs me he's a big boy and can do it himself.
post #65 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxMommy View Post
doing up DH's jacket zipper without noticing till he informs me he's a big boy and can do it himself.
Oh yeah! Or buttoning his shirt.
post #66 of 155
love these!

Some of our favorites phrases
"(insert object name here) don't go on penises!"
"Paint goes on paper, not on (mommy, cat, walls, shoes, or any other nearby surface)"

YOu know you're a parent when
-when you shower, if you shower, you do so with a toddler, a plastic lobster, a ball, three cups, measuring spoons, and a train at your feet.
-date night often consists of a 10 minute conversation with DH at the kitchen table while DS plays in the den
-you think that people who sleep in all the way until 7AM are just plain lazy
-10PM is unreasonably late for any human being to be awake
-your once stylish home is now barren of decorations becasue they are "unsafe"
-you get excited over backhoes, skid steers, and john deere tractors because DS likes them
-you have no clue what's going on in pop culture "Jonas who? He has a brother? whatever."
-you listen to kid music even when no kids are in the car
-Sex is something you read about once in a magazine
post #67 of 155

I've gotta say..

My LOs aren't exactly LOs anymore.. they're almost 12 (in two days) and 15 yrs of age, but OMG, this thread has had me absolutely ROLLING in laughter this morning.. and because of that, I've had tons of memories coming back. Thanks for posting this thread!
post #68 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellen Griswold View Post
...when you have caught vomit in your hands without flinching.

...when you have nursed a child in a forward facing carseat while still being buckled in yourself.

...when you have to ask that underwear be worn at the dinnertable.
Done these-- more than once!

I really felt like a parent when I nursed a toddler, rocked an infant to sleep, and helped my 9 year old with math, all at the same time.
post #69 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by mermaidmama View Post
When you find yourself bouncing/rocking/shushing your dog or cat while holding them at the vet's.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellen Griswold View Post
My cat likes to eat lotion. Maybe they should get together?
:


And from this morning. . .

I was reading a story to DS1 that happened to include a Water Buffalo, and he pulled out his penis. I told him that one day, his foreskin would roll back, and he'd be able to see the head underneath. He said, "The buffalo have a head, and my foreskin will roll back and there is a bufffalo head inside!" :
post #70 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
He said, "The buffalo have a head, and my foreskin will roll back and there is a bufffalo head inside!" :
Might want to mention that to his girlfriend in a few years
post #71 of 155
definate blackmail material!
post #72 of 155
Thread Starter 
This morning I cleaned up baby puke at 5am and didn't bat an eyelash... It had even soaked into the sheet where he was sleeping so I just got him something dry to sleep on, rocked him a bit, and went right back to sleep. When we woke up later I realized that the bed still had that faint "puke scent" and I'd slept right through it; a year ago I would have changed the sheets because I'd have been sick.
post #73 of 155
...when you listen to the Sesame Street Christmas album twice on Easter Sunday (and every day after that, for nearly two weeks so far).
post #74 of 155
Speaking of wiping things

...."Don't wipe your boogers on (your sister, the dog, the cat, the walls, the counter, me!!)"

And when you can ask "Where did this poop come from?!" (it was smeared on the wall next to the toilet AND on the seat) and know very well who it came from. DS "found" it smeared on his leg one day and could not figure out how it got there!:

Oh, and when your DVD player freezes because you have watched the same Spongebob movie over, and over, and over again. We had to take the DVD player apart to get the beloved movie out
post #75 of 155
"The buffalo have a head, and my foreskin will roll back and there is a bufffalo head inside!"

Ok that is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.
post #76 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
When I first found out I was pregnant I was watching an episode of CSI that involved a child being molested and killed...I had to watch it in short pieces because it was so disturbing.

Oh yeah, DH and I watched the one where the baby was abducted (turned out to be the Mom's lover).

The whole scene was very disturbing (mom was held back while they ran off w/ her child).
post #77 of 155
...when you it feels weird to type with two hands because you're usually NAKing or holding someone and typing with the other.
post #78 of 155
...when any phone conversation is interrupted constantly with phrases like: Don't eat the pen, you are not a dinosaur (our favorite), please put the garbage back into the bin, as well as answering the question "who are you talking to?" about 10 times in 2 minutes
post #79 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by VBMama View Post
...when you it feels weird to type with two hands because you're usually NAKing or holding someone and typing with the other.
*nods* i get really excited when i get to type with 2 hands!!

*when you barely notice the baby smears across your glasses anymore; just peer around them to type
post #80 of 155
Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca View Post

...your walls are covered in signs that say things like,
"GRANDDAD AND TRAINS"
"I AM A BUNNY YOU ARE A ROBOT"
"POLICE PLEASE POLICE PLEASE FLEECE FLEECE FLEECE"
"MY SHOULDER IS HURTING"
"STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!"
"FLOATING ALIEN JELLYFISH"
"THOMAS WAS WORKING IN THE QUARRY"
"STEELERS ARE WINNING"
"BARACK OBAMA IS WINNING"

because your child is learning to write and keeps asking you to spell words for him to write and wanting to hang up his signs, and of course you want to encourage him, and it's only as you write this picturing the signs that you realize the events during which he wrote those last two signs were 3 and 5 months ago respectively.
Our kids should hang out! My six year old could spell words for your 4 year old and then they could both hang a million signs and pictures all over the walls together (the easter bunny brought J a roll of scotch tape, and he was delighted )

Right now our walls say:

BONEVILLE AVENUE CAFE - YES WE ARE OPEN COME IN!!!!!
Cardinals - 53 Dragons - 80 Dragons WIN!
NO PARKING, Parking for the Football Game ONLY
Daddy thinks J is awesome, yes he does, of course he does, YES.
I'm Gonna Eat you FOR REAL!!!!! (accompanying a picture of a dragon)

and my personal favorite, hanging on his door:
No Babies Allowed
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