Are those leashes/harnesses for kids demeaning? - Page 3

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

My sister says it's demeaning to have my child on a leash and will harm him emotionally. :

Is that true?

of course not! this is certainly a reasonable way to keep up with your son if it works for you guys.

i'm lucky that, at least as of today , mine is not a runner. if she were, i'd put a "leash" on her for sure! she's the kind of kid who i can take out of her car seat in a parking lot and ask her to stand by me while i grab our bag. i know lots of kids are not this way...

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

She said people will 'bark' at him at the zoo, and I would just die, really I would.


Please tell me that won't happen.

I seriously doubt any one would. BUT FWIW your son might I once had my DD harnessed in her beloved puppy harness in an airport (I was VERY thankful to have it) and DD crawled on all fours and barked her way through security .
AS for is it demeaning no it just a way to help keep a child safe but also allow some freedom. We used one when we needed our DD to literly hold our hand for long periods of time a harness was a lot kinder than having her hold her arm in the air for hours on end. DD used to wear hers just casue even if no one was holding hte "tail".

Deanna

[octobermom]

I'd probably go for a sling at this point. I couldn't do that the last time (in the airport) because I had to carry a convertible car seat with me and couldn't have had her in a sling too, but if you can sling, I'd go for that.

I kinda find it intresting that you despie say a stroller for freedom and lack of excerise reasons but then promote a sling. BTW I loved my sling I couldn't sling for more than a few mintues past the infant age but just found the comprison intresting.

Deanna

[churndash]

I don't care if parents use leashes - none of my business. But what does bother me are:

Leashes that are very long, and parents let the kid cut in front of my family and me or my kids get clotheslined by it

Leashes that are long and parents don't pick up the slack so other people end up tripping on it.

Parents who use the leash to tug, drag, or otherwise control the direction the child is going

Parents who think that since their kid is on a leash, they don't have to pay any attention to what he's actually doing (like in one case I observed at a campsite, where the carefully leashed child was stuffing leaves and sticks in his mouth while his mother chatted away, completely oblivious).

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

ha ha, I just noticed my son's harness is a lemur not a monkey!

Thanks everyone for your opinions I feel much better now. My sister undermines everything thing I do and causes me grief, I really felt she was off base on the barking thing.

[mamarootoo]

Originally Posted by Raene

But I will also say I can't stand strollers and kids in strollers...I think if you have to use one, that leashes are better b/c at least the child is getting some exercise. Strollers just seem so wrong...I see all of these really energetic parents with their kids in strollers and wonder how that is teaching the kid that exercise is important and fun.

(bolding mine)
little legs can't walk as far as really energetic parent legs.

[TinkerBelle]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

My sister is giving me a hard time, it looks like I am walking a dog when my little guy wears his.

We have been practicing with it around the house because we are going to the zoo next weekend and he keeps running away from us out in pubic so I want to use it at the zoo to keep him safe. He hates the stroller and his baby brother will be in the stroller anyway.

He loves the harness, it is like a monkey and I hold the tail part.

My sister says it's demeaning to have my child on a leash and will harm him emotionally. :

Is that true?

Your sister needs to mind her own business and stop spouting her opinions as fact.

Some people don't like them. That is fine. I understand. But, I have never seen any concrete evidence that using a leash/harness will harm a child. Also, I really get pissed when people make snide remarks about how we who have used them must not teach our children to hold our hands. What an interesting assumption.

Of course, they can be used in the wrong manner, but so can slings, car seats, high chairs, play yards, strollers, etc.

To me it was a safety net, not a babysitter, and certainly it did not take the place of my watchful eye. It was a tool.

It was a lifesaver when my middle child was younger. He has Autism and hated to hold hands and was a bit large for the stroller. So, I bought a blue harness/leash (his favorite color) and used it when we went out. He was strong enough to wrench his hand out of mine, way too easily. He was happy as a clam, because he got to walk and explore.

No one ever said a bad word against me when we used it. If they had, I probably would have told that person to mind their own business and butt out.

[kirstenb]

Originally Posted by mamarootoo

(bolding mine)
little legs can't walk as far as really energetic parent legs.

We spent the whole day at the zoo last weekend and there is no way DS would have lasted if we didn't have the stroller to put him in when he got tired of walking. At almost 2 he hates to be worn- he would much rather be in the stroller when he gets tired.

As for leashes, I bought a monkey backpack last month when I flew with DS and am so glad I had it. I was by myself with all our bags and the carseat and it was such a relief not to have to worry about DS taking off. He loved wearing it too.

[oceanbaby]

My 7yo was begging for me to rent a stroller so he could relax when we went to Disneyland last year. I offered to sit and rest, but he wanted to keep moving, but his legs were just beat.

Anyhow, I've never used a leash but have no issues with them being used kindly, just like anything else. Someone barking at you while your kid was on a leash would be tantamount to them mooing at you while you were nursing - it means the person is an a*hole who isn't worth acknowledging.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

I've been nursing for 3 1/2 years, almost 18 months tandeming, I moo at myself sometimes !!

[Amberoxy]

It seems like all the different means of toddler locomotion have their place. It really depends on what the toddler likes. My son lately hates to be worn, he likes the stroller. It is a Bob stroller and he goes "Bob Bob!" when he wants to go for a ride. If wants out of the stroller, we take him out. If he does want to, "ride around on top of mommy" we use a carrier. If he wants to walk on his own, and it is safe to do so, he walks on his own...if not, we carry him in arms. Now that I know about these backpack things, I think I want one!!! Does anyone know where I can get one??? It will be another choise to offer my toddle and I think the more choises, the bettter!!!

[verde]

I think leashes are wonderful. 1 1/2 years ago, DH, DD and I flew to Europe and the leash was a godsend. In the London airports many people had their toddlers on leashes. When we were in the Geneva airport I didn't see many at all but I did see a lot of surprised and amused looks. When we went through the metal detector, the security guard pulled me aside and told me what a wonderful idea she thought it was and she was surprised more people in the airport didn't use them.

I agree with Tinkerbelle, tell your sister to mind her own business.

[sapphire_chan]

I see plenty of those at the Children's Museum and plenty of unhappy kids and have yet to see an unhappy kid wearing one.

Today I saw 3 toddlers riding on their siblings' strollers like they were on horses. Strollers with hoods and each one had a 3-4 year old straddling hood and sitting on the handle.

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

My sister says it's demeaning to have my child on a leash and will harm him emotionally. :

Is that true?

Well, if your sister is right, I should be emotionally harmed, and so should almost all the people of my age who grew up in the UK. I lovedmy harness - I still remember it now. It was red leather with a cute little pony on the front. I have very fond memories of it.

And if your sister is right, I"ve damaged all my kids too.

I wonder how emotionally damaging it is, in her opinion, to stick kids in boxes on wheels and push them around, treating them like shopping carts...........

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by Gentle~Mommy :)

ha ha, I just noticed my son's harness is a lemur not a monkey!

Where did you get it? Dh and I have a running joke about lemurs and would love one.

[Britishmum]

Originally Posted by momasana

There is a good chance that some people at the zoo will give you praise and smiles, and others will give you the stink-eye and say unkind things. I’ve discovered that’s pretty much the case about every parenting decision anyone has ever made since the dawn of time.

.

I used a harness for all three of my kids. In all that time, I had two sarcastic comments or looks, and hundreds of positive ones. So don't expect to get flack from onlookers - you are fare more likely to have people stop you to ask where you got the harness, and talk to you about what a great idea they are.

[KJoslyn78]

Our Zoo sells them in the gift shop, with a monkey or some other animal on it as a small backpack

I needed to use a harness with dd2 - she was (and sometimes still is) completely wilk and wouldnt think twice to run off.. in parking lots, shops, into the road. Until i had her i was hardcore AGAINST the use of them.. then i realized when i needed one for her it became a serious safety issue... and the harm comes in how the parent uses it (such as tugging harshly to get a child to follow - i HATE seeing that!). I always held her hand and the "leash" was more of a "backup" to her running off

i hope your trip to the zoo goes well!

[chekhovgirl]

I don't like the idea of them, even though DS runs away from us. He wouldn't stand for it, though, and it seems like your little guy likes it. I can see if they're really young and you need it for safety in a public place, but I was taking DS on the subway last week and there was a mom that had her child that could have been no younger than 4 years old on a "leash". I think that's a bit extreme. She must have thought I was crazy to have my two year old standing next to me not even holding my hand on the platform.

This is not aimed at you, it's just a funny story- whenever I think of these "leashes" I think about how we were told that one of these things was used with my FIL's youngest brother and they would walk down to the beach and then tie him to the pier so he wouldn't go anywhere. I think they also tied him into the crib!! Now, using it in that fashion would be inappropriate! Again, not saying you would do that, I just find it so weird to think people used to do that!

MIL bought us one of the "backpack" looking things that had an animal and a leash, but I returned it because I knew we wouldn't use it. Do whatever works for you, though!

[Freefromitall]

No, I don't think they are demeaning. I think they are a safety tool.

[Labyrinth]

Chris has taken off on me and his mom at the zoo a couple times, one of the scariest things ever! Now he's too old for them, but I wish I would have had one when he was younger. I cannot stand strollers, and have a big thing about kids over 2 walking unless there's a delay or disability or it's a child's nap time.

I have never used a harness, but I would have no problem with it. I will probably have one when I have a child. What I do, now, is hold on to the back of a regular style backpack or hoodie to keep track of them when they don't want to hold hands. They're pretty good about holding hands, though .

Oh, and the best time to go to the zoo is right when it opens- much smaller crowds.