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15 and smoking - Page 3

post #41 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
You're arguing it backwards. I certainly didn't say that every smoker will advance to any other drug.

However, every meth addict started with cigarettes. There isn't a meth addict out there who never touched a cigarette.
Then there really is not a point to even mentioning it. Correlation does not equal causation.
post #42 of 71
I think most heroin users also drink coffee...think we better keep our kids away from Folgers!
post #43 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by Louise 1959 View Post
I think most heroin users also drink coffee...think we better keep our kids away from Folgers!
that made me giggle...
post #44 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by benj View Post
Then there really is not a point to even mentioning it. Correlation does not equal causation.
And generalizations are always wrong.

I highly doubt that every single meth addict started with cigarettes.
post #45 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by churndash View Post
I wouldn't give my kid a loaded gun and let her "learn from her mistake".

All there is to learn from smoking is how to become addicted to nicotine and destroy your body. This is not a learning experience, this is life and death.

Smoking = death as far as I'm concerned. I would no more sit back and do nothing while she smoked than I would sit back and watch her slit her wrists.

You can disagree all you want, it is my kid and my choice. I would do ANYTHING humanly possibly to make my child stop smoking.

Really there is nothing anyone could ever possibly say to change my mind on this topic, so we'll have to agree to disagree.
If smoking = death then how come there are many, many smokes who live to a ripe old age and die of natural causes?

smoking increases the chance of early death.

Either way, you can follow your kid around all you want, that doesn't mean they will stop doing things you don't like. Teenagers are seperate people from their parents and will make different choices whether you approve of them or not.
post #46 of 71
Just for the record, I'm not nor have I ever been a smoker. I just think this is funny....

Quote:
I love these little facts. "Well you know. Smoking takes ten years off your life." Well it's the ten worst years, isn't it folks? It's the ones at the end! It's the wheelchair, adult diaper, kidney dialysis f*&%ing years. You can have those years! We don't want 'em, alright!? - Denis Leary
post #47 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
And generalizations are always wrong.

I highly doubt that every single meth addict started with cigarettes.
Yes, definitely, you present an excellent point. Mine was only assuming her premise was true.

I've done both, but I definitely don't believe cigarettes to be a "gateway" to harder drugs.

And to another post...following children around? That's a sure-fire way to lose any trust.
post #48 of 71
I'll steer clear from the parenting advice, since my are not that old yet, but personally I started when I was 12 or 13 and quit once when I was 16 and then hit a rough patch and started again and quit cold turkey when I was 17. I haven't touched one for almost 12 years, though some days I'd really like to. But I quit for my husband because he hated it and he meant more to me than they did.

I did see my grandfather die from lung-cancer and honestly it just didn't have an effect on me. My mother hated it and was very hurt by my actions but at the time our relationship was really rocky and I didn't really care.

And FTR, I have smoked both nicotine and pot and have NEVER touched any other drugs, illegal or otherwise.
post #49 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
If smoking = death then how come there are many, many smokes who live to a ripe old age and die of natural causes?

smoking increases the chance of early death.

Either way, you can follow your kid around all you want, that doesn't mean they will stop doing things you don't like. Teenagers are seperate people from their parents and will make different choices whether you approve of them or not.
Like I said, we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't know why you want to persist in arguing about this when I've already said that there is nothing you or anyone else could ever say that would change my feelings on this matter one iota.

My 15 year old does not smoke, thank God. Or maybe it's watching both of her grandmothers dying from emphysema and cancer of the larynx that I should thank.

I really don't care whether "some" smokers managed not to kill themselves with their stupid, filthy, disgusting habit.

Every day I watch my mother struggle to breathe and cling to life, although many times she has talked about killing herself, just to end her daily pain.

I would never sit idly by and watch my child killing herself. I would do everything in my power to stop her from doing it.

Please do not reply to me, as there is nothing else for us to discuss. I do not wish to argue any further. I will not change my mind and neither will you so let's just drop it.
post #50 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by churndash View Post
I wouldn't give my kid a loaded gun and let her "learn from her mistake".

All there is to learn from smoking is how to become addicted to nicotine and destroy your body. This is not a learning experience, this is life and death.

Smoking = death as far as I'm concerned. I would no more sit back and do nothing while she smoked than I would sit back and watch her slit her wrists.

You can disagree all you want, it is my kid and my choice. I would do ANYTHING humanly possibly to make my child stop smoking.

Really there is nothing anyone could ever possibly say to change my mind on this topic, so we'll have to agree to disagree.
A great big : to everything you just said. Whatever it takes I will do.
post #51 of 71
Trust is earned not given. If my child is smoking how can I trust them? I am sure that one day when they are grown they would thank me for stopping them from becoming addicted to a life threatening thing. If that means a few years of tension then so be it.
post #52 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
Trust is earned not given. If my child is smoking how can I trust them? I am sure that one day when they are grown they would thank me for stopping them from becoming addicted to a life threatening thing. If that means a few years of tension then so be it.
What does smoking have to do with trust? Smoking and lying about it, I can see. But just smoking?

If my parent was following me around to see if I smoked, I would definitely be able to find a way to still smoke. Untrustworthy, maybe. Stupid, no. Seems that it would worsen the situation. My parents were ridiculously strict, yet I still managed to get into trouble a lot.
post #53 of 71
You are the one mentioned them never trusting me if I followed them around that is what I was referring to.
Because the very act of smoking in the first place would be betraying my trust knowing how I feel about it.
post #54 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
You are the one mentioned them never trusting me if I followed them around that is what I was refering to.
If you were referring to them trusting you then why would you say, "If my child is smoking how can I trust them?"

I was asking how just smoking makes you not trust them.
post #55 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
Because the very act of smoking in the first place would be betraying my trust knowing how I feel about it.
So if you don't approve and support every single thing they do, it's automatically betrayal?

I mean, I wouldn't want my kids smoking either---don't get me wrong. But if it gets to that point, I guess you haven't reared your adamant position too well, right?

How exactly do you think following them around would solve the problem, logically? You don't think they would be able to figure something out?
post #56 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by churndash View Post
Like I said, we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't know why you want to persist in arguing about this when I've already said that there is nothing you or anyone else could ever say that would change my feelings on this matter one iota.

My 15 year old does not smoke, thank God. Or maybe it's watching both of her grandmothers dying from emphysema and cancer of the larynx that I should thank.

I really don't care whether "some" smokers managed not to kill themselves with their stupid, filthy, disgusting habit.

Every day I watch my mother struggle to breathe and cling to life, although many times she has talked about killing herself, just to end her daily pain.

I would never sit idly by and watch my child killing herself. I would do everything in my power to stop her from doing it.

Please do not reply to me, as there is nothing else for us to discuss. I do not wish to argue any further. I will not change my mind and neither will you so let's just drop it.
Um, you wanna get technical... You were the only that disagreed with me when I disagreed with someone else. So I am not the one "continuing to disagree".

In fact I think I may have actually addressed one of your posts only once. Twice if you count this time.

You want to stop your kid from smoking then go ahead, I have nothing against that. What I do have a problem with is parents who think they can realistically follow their child around 24/7 and prevent them from doing something that way. Teenagers are not that compliant. The only way to keep them with you 24/7 without them being able to slip off is to handcuff yourself to them. At which point I believe you run the risk of getting into legal trouble yourself because the law doesn't look to kindly on such things.
post #57 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
Trust is earned not given. If my child is smoking how can I trust them? I am sure that one day when they are grown they would thank me for stopping them from becoming addicted to a life threatening thing. If that means a few years of tension then so be it.
I doubt I would ever forgive one of my parents for such a gross invasion of privacy.

Nor would I likely have a healthy sense of my own bourdaries as an adult.
post #58 of 71
They would know I was there. I wouldnt sneak and watch them. The following I mentioned was at school since that is the only place they would be allowed to go.


Quote:
So if you don't approve and support every single thing they do, it's automatically betrayal?
No I didnt say that at all what I said is that the only 2 things I felt this strongly on was smoking and drugs.

Yes there are other things I dont approve of but I would live with it if it happened but not this.

I stand by my OP on the steps I would take should I find out that either of my kids where smoking.
post #59 of 71
You don't have to be sneaky about it to perminently ruin their trust and respect for you or cause psycological damage.
post #60 of 71
Quote:
Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X View Post
They would know I was there. I wouldnt sneak and watch them. The following I mentioned was at school since that is the only place they would be allowed to go.
You don't think your children could figure out a way to do it behind your back? I just don't think this would work logically. It seems like a false sense of control on your part, but does NOTHING to solve the problem.

Quote:
No I didnt say that at all what I said is that the only 2 things I felt this strongly on was smoking and drugs.
Well, I don't think there are parents out there that encourage smoking and drugs.
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