3 yo potty help, please!

[KerriAZ]

Okay. So my son isn't quite 3 - (he will be next Wednesday...) and I KNOW that boys train later than girls, but this kid! We have tried about everything we can think of, and he still refuses to use the potty! MAN! My DD was fully trained, on her own - her idea coming to us saying she didn't wanna wear diapers anymore - before she was 2! SUCH a change, I tell ya!

I have tried:

Making it fun to pick out his own potty
The Cheerio "targets" in the big toilet
Letting Daddy take him and see how Daddy goes
Naked Day
Underwear Day
Sticker/reward charts
Taking him every hour - and sitting there for 2 minutes
Taking him every half hour - and sitting there for 2 minutes

And I'm sure other things that just aren't coming to me right now! HOW can I teach him to use the potty? He's just so stubborn! I have sat my almost 9 month old on the potty (the same one he picked out) when I saw that she was needing to poop (We aren't doing EC, but when I "catch" the poop, I put her on) and she has pooped a few times. I thought that by seeing his baby sister go and the big deal I made of it (YAY Ashley! Good girl!!! Etc.) would make him more willing to go on the potty and want to get that praise. But each time, he joins in the praising of his sister very enthusiastically, but then when I say, "Okay! Your turn!" He yells, "No way!" and runs off! :

Any thoughts?? TIA!!!!!

[eirual]

I'd suggest not trying, and not making a big deal of it one way or another.

We EC'd with the expectation that eliminating was just a natural process, we never praised or pushed, just accepted it as normal and moved on.

I'd suggest a week of nakedness and no fluctuating emotions (no getting excited over making it to the potty and no getting frustrated at misses). A sincere thankyou or mater of fact "it got in the potty!" is peachy.

Any chance at that working?

[handzfull]

We have potty trained 6 children so far, and the best method I have found that works for me is waiting til they come to me and say something to the effect of "Mommy, I'd like to wear underwear now." Seriously, I happens around age 3.5 and takes about 2 or 3 weeks. I decided the extra time and cost of diapers was worth it because I don't like the time, struggle and change to my routine of doing it in "my time" and not "their time". Around age 3 I start talking about how big girls/big boys go potty and don't need to wear diapers anymore. And I say stuff like "you just let me know when you want to learn to use the potty and wear underwear". No pressure or anything, just casual conversation when changing a diaper (or at other appropriate times). Sometimes I would ask if they wanted to try the potty, but never made them do it. Another tip is...once they say they want to do it, go straight to underwear and don't use pullups (unless they have overnight control issues). Plan on a week or two of accidents, but just stay calm and patient and encouraging. Just remember, they are highly unlikely to still be in diapers for much longer than age 3.

[maplesugar]

I have a just turned three year old who is not yet potty trained. Likewise, her brother learned at one, almost two. I am trying not to push anything. She can go a long time without an accident, but she is just holding it in, not using the toilet.

It is getting pretty old, this diaper business. I guess there are a lot of three year olds in the same position.

The most frustrating thing is the comments from others.

[guitarmama]

I came here to talk about this same subject. My dd turned 3 in Feb, and has NO INTEREST AT ALL in the potty. I know I should just stop mentioning it to her, but it's so hard. Last week at her tumbling class she finally overcame her fear of flipping over the bar, so I've been talking to her about how she was afraid of the bar but then decided she was ready to try it. I told her that it will be the same way with the potty. She's been role playing that conversation with her toys during play, so I know she's processing the concept. I'm just so impatient. I'm tired of washing diapers and 'sposies are so expensive. Grumble, grumble.

[OboePlayerMom]

It can be frustrating, but you really just have to wait until your child is ready. My DS, now 5.5 yo, didn't get it all figured out until he was just over 4 yo. My DD, now 3.5, decided on her own (after numerous conversations as a PP suggested) that she was ready for underwear one Monday morning when she was almost 3.5. I panicked a little, because *I* wasn't ready, but I pulled out the previously purchased underwear and went with it. She's been fine ever since, but it had to be on her timetable, not mine. I think it was good for me to learn from my son first, and then my daughter shocked me by making it so easy. Much better to get them in that order! I'm still a little stunned that we're actually done with the diapers and pull-ups!

And, luckily, we never had comments from other folks. I would have tuned them out, anyway! I think 3 is becoming an average age for potty learning, but keep in mind it's an average - there have to be kids older than that, too, to create the average.
Leslie, mommy to DS (5.5) and DD (3.5)

[mkmama]

I would just like to say that i started my son at 21 months of age, potty learning. I thought I was doing a great job, taking him often, eventually he'd just ask to go, right? Well we have struggled for over a year now. He turned 3 last wednesday and we still have accidents and troubles. WHY? Because i pushed too early and fought about it here and there, not consistent with my emotions on it with him. He's just about there, and I trust him in underpants most of the time...but def. not 100% trust.

All that to say, with my DD, she will be asking for underpants before i even start. this has been made WAY to difficult trying to force the issue too young. NOT WORTH IT.

So all in all, good advice on waiting for them to be totally ready.

[Devaskyla]

My oldest around 3 years 5 months, ds2 is still in the process, although I think he's basically trained for day time. With both of them I had to bribe them. Neither one had the slightest interest in wearing underwear & neither ever cared if they were wet or dirty. Ds1 liked stickers with toys for getting a certain number of stickers. Ds2 liked the stickers, but not enough to choose to go for them. What finally worked for him was m&m's. He got a few for going in the potty & a few extra if he used the toilet. The potty lasted about 2 days after we introduced the extra m&m's for using the toilet & that was just because he couldn't make it in time. We also refused to let him use a diaper or pull-up & had him in no pants (but with padded underwear) for the first few days. He had a few accidents the first couple days (just pee) & then one accident a day a few random days, including his first time playing outside without a diaper. He didn't quite make it in time.