Playing in front yard unsupervised?

[klocke]

At what age did / would you let your child play outside in the front yard not supervised? I have a group of neighbor kids (well a whole neighborhood apartment complex) that are constantly playing unsupervised. No parents around what so ever. These kids are ranging from what I can tell from about 2 1/2ish to at the very oldest 9-10 years old. Most look to be between 5-7 years old. They have been coming into my yard and today I caught them taking things off my front porch. Now this was two little one maybe 4-5 years old so I know that don't really understand stealing so I just asked them to please not take things off my porch. But I guess I could never imagine letting my 4 year old ds play in the front yard unattended. Am I overprotective? Back yard fenced is one thing but the front yard seems so unpredictable to me to be safe.

[snoopy5386]

i'd love to know the answer to this question - not for your situation but ours. We live in a house with a front yard only, no back yard. We live on a tiny (7 houses) dead end street. I'd love to know how old DD needs to be before I can let her play our front with me not out there with her (but still superivised, as in I check on her through the window every 5-10 mins). I am thinking 5, but I'm not sure. In an apt complex situation like yours I would say 7-8.

[MtBikeLover]

My kids are 4 & 6 and I just started letting them play outside partially supervised, which means that I am in the house and can hear everything and am checking on them every few minutes.

No way would I let my kids out unsupervised where I couldn't see them or hear them when I wanted to at the ages they are now. I am trying to give them some more freedom which is why I am starting to leave them on their own outside for a few minutes at a time. I am working up my courage to let them play by themself

I've been thinking about this alot because it makes me sad that I just can't let them go out and play and not worry. I remember being in K and playing at the playground by myself or walking around the neighborhood with my friends or riding my bike with friends. My parents were never outside with me and I loved the independence and freedom.

[ChaoticMum]

Originally Posted by MtBikeLover

My kids are 4 & 6 and I just started letting them play outside partially supervised, which means that I am in the house and can hear everything and am checking on them every few minutes.

No way would I let my kids out unsupervised where I couldn't see them or hear them when I wanted to at the ages they are now. I am trying to give them some more freedom which is why I am starting to leave them on their own outside for a few minutes at a time. I am working up my courage to let them play by themself

Ditto that almost totally - my kids ages are 3.5, 5 and 6.5 and our yard in town is not fenced. I let them play when I'm in the kitchen with the door open and the window open so I can hear them. In the winter they had to stay within a smaller range as i couldn't have the windows open.

I would never just let them go tho - not even the 6.5 yr old and she is extremely well behaved for her age - but she is STILL ONLY 6.5!!!! She is a KID! And kids forget rules easily when they get involved in playing.

[AbbieB]

My 5 year old plays out front all the time. We have a large front porch with a hammock, a play table and toys. Her sandbox is right off the porch and her swing is on the side of the house. We have lots of windows and I keep an eye on her. I check in on her frequently, often she is not aware of it though.


I worry more about someone else freaking out about her playing outside and calling some "authority" to report it than about any danger. DD does not play near or in the street.

[LynnS6]

Gosh, this is a tough one for me to answer. We live in a neighborhood full of kids -- there are about 20 kids who live within a block of us. The kids who play outside range in age from about 4 (dd) to 14 or 15.

Ds was 6, nearly 7, before he WANTED to play outside without us near. Last summer was the first summer where he was comfortable going off to play with the neighbor kids. Dd, of course, wanted to be out where her brother was. I let her for several reasons: The older kids were pretty responsible and watched out for the little ones, and there were 2 or 3 parents who always had an eye on things.

So, last summer, we did let our 4 and 7 year olds 'roam' a bit. They were never more than 4 houses away, mind you, but sometimes they were around a corner. The rules were that they had to stay in the front yards (so that they could be easily seen when I went to check on them) or tell me when they were going in a back yard or inside someone's house. They were not to jump on trampolines unless I'd OK'ed it and if there was more than one kid at a time. A couple houses were off limits because I felt the supervision was lacking.

The worst that happened all summer were hurt feelings, and I'm glad my kids have the experience of being able to go out and play. They've learned a lot, mostly good, a little bad, from the range of kids who are out there.

[Flor]

I really think it depends on your neighborhood. Ds is 5.5 and I just can't imagine. We live in a trailer park, so it is walled, but we have no sidewalks so if you send your kids outside, you are sending them to play in the street. Because we are off the main road, you'd think it would mean slower traffic, but in reality people seem to think that it isn't a "real" street so they can do things like drive through stopsigns and drive on the left side, teen agers speed. Sooo. Ds does not play outside by himself, but I do see other kids on the street. We have a group of kids about 2-10 outside most days. I just can't imagine letting my 2 year old out to trail behind an older sibling. This girl is in the middle of the street while her sister is off climbing a tree, which is exactly what would happen if I sent ds out with big brother dss. Dss would have a ball and not look back for his little bro. So, maybe when we live somewhere with sidewalks.

[onlyzombiecat]

I don't know.
Dd is 9 and the front of our house is on a very busy street. I voted 10+ because of that.
I feel more comfortable with her in the backyard unattended even though there is not a fence.
I don't want her to go into other people's yards or onto their porch without permission at any age really.

OP- My parent's neighborhood is like yours. There are really little kids (toddlers) roaming all over without their parents outside and even playing in the street. Some people don't have backyardss there. And my parents have had unattended young kids take things, break things on their porch or in their yard.

[ann_of_loxley]

My son is 3.5 - He has now showed and interest in playing out front - and I am showing an interest in doing other things lol He is quite happy to play unsupervised - of course I check on him every few mintues!
Of course we live in a small country village - on a cul de sac and my son has pretty good road awareness/etc. So we both feel comfortable with this arrangment.

[eepster]

DS is only 3 now, so I voted based on what I thought he will be like and what I know my neighborhood is like.

He's pretty mature for three, so I assumed he would tend to be pretty mature going forward. Then I considered our location. We live on a very, very busy street right across from a park. So I worry about the temptation to cross thatvery busy street to get to the park. I went for a bit older, mostly b/c of where we live, and said 9.

If I lived on a quite cul-de-sac, then I would consider as young as 6 or 7 for a mature child. However, I have known children who are just pretty imature and wouldn't be ready till they were well beyond 10. Kids and yards vary quite a lot, so I don't think there is any universal OK age.

[eirual]

I live on a somewhat busy street, but we're comfortably set back (as in there's room to park two cars and play) and have a large boulevard between the sidewalk and the road. I've just recently been letting DS (3.5) play in the front yard with minimal supervision (his new favourite game is throw-sticks-at-the-tree). I peek from time to time, and he usually tells me why he wants to stay in the front yard vs. the back, so I know what he's doing (building a nest, throwing sticks at the tree, it's always with a purpose and I never do more than get things done on the main level and take frequent peeks for the top of his head. I figure this is the first step towards giving him some more freedom. Up until this point if I had to go in the house for anything he had to stay on the porch. I still ask him to come up if I have to go to the basement or upstairs for anything.

As a kid though, I remember playing freely with my siblings. I think it's important to let them go and it would really depend on the child and the area as to when that would happen. Barring a tough social situation (like if a neighbourhood kid was a bully) I think I'd be more comfrortable doing that if there were other kids around and we were in a townhouse complex.

[Ceinwen]

I chose 3-4 years old, older dd was actually 4 when she started playing outside by herself. She was (is) a very responsible, self confident child, our area is appropriate for her to be out on her own, etc. We have no issues with it.

[sunnmama]

I voted 5-6. At that age, I certainly was playing outside without supervision when I was a child (with a sahm), although with my 2-year older sister most of the time. That is really rare in the areas I have lived with my dc, and one part of the 'good old days' I wish would come back.

[eastkygal]

We live off grid, so I am completely comfortable with DD1 playing outdoors unsupervised. Of course I will have the door open, and be within earshot of her, and I am constantly checking on her. We have no neighbors and don't live near a road. Now, when we lived in Louisville I would have never dared for her to play outside alone, and probably wouldn't have until age 11 or more really. That is one reason why we moved.

[loraxc]

I think it really depends on the kid and where you live. Our street is very quiet. I have just recently started letting DD play in the front yard by herself, sort on a trial basis. I do check on her very frequently. She is 5. She definitely is not allowed to leave our yard--not ready for that yet, though I would probably let her go next door or across the street if there were kids to play with there.

[fruitfulmomma]

My son, who is almost 9, is allowed to play outside but doesn't go roaming the neighborhood. The girls, who are 6,4, and 2 are allowed out in their grandmother's yard if he (their brother) is supervising them. Our yard is not fenced though, so the two older girls can go on the porch, but the 2 yo must have an adult because she will go in the street.

[Alyantavid]

I don't know. We live in the country, but not far off the road, and I do let my 7 year old play outside unsupervised but only in the back yard. My almost 3 year old is never allowed out by himself or even with his brother.

We avoid almost all playing in the front yard because it is by the road and scares me.

[Marsupialmom]

When I was living in apartment/condo there was no other option. The kids ran around. I was outside most of the time.

My current house they couldn't play out front in my yard but the nieghbor's yard around the corner they could.

[Momily]

I think there are so many variables here, that it's hard to answer. Age, personality, other kids, what you can see from your house, etc . . .

When we lived in a house I let DS play in the back with me on the same floor, checking out the windows from about 4. I let him ride his bike on the sidewalk out front from about 7. Then we moved into a high rise apartment and I didn't start letting him out alone again until 10, although he continued to go outside with friends at their houses.

But a big variable for me is other kids. I believe there's safety in numbers. I think 4 kids playing outside together is very different from kids playing outside alone. I have one kid and I live in a neighborhood where noone lets their kids out, ever. So, I worry that he'll be a target because even though we're in the city there wouldn't be any witnesses, and I worry that we'll be judged. To give you a sense, I remember one of my neighbors complaining that another neighbor sent their 11 year old walking 1 block to pick up their 4 year old from the first neighbor -- they thought this was horribly neglectful. So, now that I do let my 10 year old go to the local playground (1/2 a block a way) on his bike I worry that the other parents there will be ready to call CPS on me.

We're moving in a couple of weeks (YAY! I'm so excited) and we'll be back in a house. One thing I'm excited about is that it's not such an affluent neighborhood (I think to a certain extent this paranoia about kids is a disease of the rich), and I'm hoping there will be kids outside. At 10 DS is really ready to run up and down the block and go for bike rides around he neighborhood and play capture the flag until it gets dark. We're also getting a dog and I hope I can send them out in broad daylight for a walk without worrying about someone calling CPS.

To answer the original question -- if it's a garden community (high rises like mine don't exactly have "yards", so I'm figuring lower rise buildings that look onto grassy space?) where you can see the yard from the windows of your building, and the kids are like mine in temperment (not impulsive, not fearful, well behaved, lots of common sense), decent neighborhood, daylight I'd say:

Under 4 -- only with a parent or a babysitter.

4 -5 -- with their own older sibling who has agreed to watch them or another neighborhood kid who has specifically agreed to keep an eye on them.

6 -- 7 -- if there's a group and some of the kids in the group are at least 8 and I generally like and trust the kids in the group.

8 -- 9 With at least one other kid their age, as long as I don't think of those kids as trouble

10 and up -- alone or in a group.

[mazajo]

I didn't vote because it totally depends on where you live. Right now, there is no way my 3.7 yo is playing outside alone. We live on a very busy road, we're really close to the road, and the sidewalk out front is highly traveled. I can't begin to imagine at what age I'll be okay with that, maybe 8?

Now where we used to live when my older boys were younger, I think they were about 3, 5 & 6 when we moved there, I was perfectly fine with them playing outside in the front or back alone. We were on a dead end street in a quiet neighborhood with practically no traffic, every house had families with kids, nice spacious yards.