HD wants son circumcised - Page 2

[AnnaNova]

why not let your cjild decide that? he can get circed at any age, so why not just l to leave it up to him? tell your husband you'll personally take your boy to the doctor should it be his choice.

[ColoradoMama]

Originally Posted by Quirky

Your marriage is more at risk if you hurt your son to please your husband than if you stand firm. Your son's body is not a bargaining chip that can save your marriage. It is not your right to agree to cut your baby to satisfy your husband's irrational wishes.

Exactly. Is your desire to protect your son as strong as your husband's desire to allow something to be done that will hurt him?

[Treece]

Ya know, I would probably take a different route and try to be calm and rational. Here's how I would approach it.

Ask "Honey (or whatever "Bob" would work), is the locker room the only reason that you are so adamant that junior is circed?"
He answers. If he doesn't fill you in, ask "Have you ever had any problems related to being intact?" If he says yes, and says what he had, we can help you understand how it could have happened. Some problems were caused be forcibly retracting at a very young age and with every diaper change. I would try to understand that the world he probably grew up in was mostly filled with circ penises, in fact, his may be the only intact one he has ever seen.

Then, later I would play some bedroom games. I would do things that couldn't be done to a circed penis. After wards, the next day maybe. Say Ya know what I did last night? Junior wouldn't be able to do that if ha was circed. I would also ask if he knew what circ entailed. I would really educate him, gently and lovingly.

Good luck. Total agreement isn't necessary. Just him accepting taht it can always be done but never undone.

[Treece]

Also, he could ask his mom why it wasn't done. She may enlighten him.

Let him know that in our generation, when we were born, a lot of doctors just did it, even if the parents objected.

[1littlebit]

i thought not looking at other guys in the locker room/ urinal was one of those universal rules.

it just seems odd to me (maybe b/c i am a gir?) thatn examining and commenting on someone elses genitalia is so common

[JollyGG]

Originally Posted by eepster

Today, around 50% of boys in the US are not circ'd, and almost no school locker rooms have full nudity ever.

This is exactly what I was going to say.

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by Treece

Also, he could ask his mom why it wasn't done. She may enlighten him.

Let him know that in our generation, when we were born, a lot of doctors just did it, even if the parents objected.

yes 2 this

[JayJay]

This was a debate the last time around before we knew if Josie was a boy or a girl. I said "no way" and he said "but of course we'll have it done!" - he couldn't see it any other way at first.

Then I showed him a lovely film about circumcision, and he was enlightened

This time around, again, there will be NO circ. No way. Not budging. As far as I am concerned, it's my job as a mother to protect my babies, and I am not being talked into mutilating them by anyone, ever. I lost the last one, and no person on this earth is going to be taking any part of the new one away.

Additionally, We will be cutting the cord, catching the baby and giving the baby it's first bath. No messing or manhandling of my infant will be done at all!!!! (unless in extreme life threatening emergency, of course)

*HUGS* XXX

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by JayJay

This was a debate the last time around before we knew if Josie was a boy or a girl. I said "no way" and he said "but of course we'll have it done!" - he couldn't see it any other way at first.

Then I showed him a lovely film about circumcision, and he was enlightened

This time around, again, there will be NO circ. No way. Not budging. As far as I am concerned, it's my job as a mother to protect my babies, and I am not being talked into mutilating them by anyone, ever. I lost the last one, and no person on this earth is going to be taking any part of the new one away.

Additionally, We will be cutting the cord, catching the baby and giving the baby it's first bath. No messing or manhandling of my infant will be done at all!!!! (unless in extreme life threatening emergency, of course)

*HUGS* XXX

oh, mama, I'm so sorry about the loss of your precious Josie . What a beautiful name!

I wish you an easy healing pregnancy, wonderful birth and a healthy baby.

[JayJay]

Thank you Yulia I think I should be okay as far as miscarriage is concerned this time (because of course, after a stillbirth and waiting so long, the main fear is miscarriage ad I've already had at least one chemical this year!) - I feel this little one is strong.

I am already popping out, too, which must be hormonal! By eight weeks last time, I was in maternity pants. I guess this time I will be in maternity pants even sooner than that - I weighed about 115lb last time whe I got pregnant. This time I suppose I weigh about 125 or 130...let me go check...

*gets on scales in bathroom...couple of minutes pass...*

124.4lb apparently.

They say with the second child (or whatever number after one) you pop more quickly, and I have to say that so far, I agree. Everything is happening sooner. I'm not even 4 weeks pregnant yet, but I have round ligament pain because my uterus is tiped forward already this time!

Ah - anyway, I digress. Back to the thread!

*HUGE hugs* XXX

[millieme]

Originally Posted by JayJay

This was a debate the last time around before we knew if Josie was a boy or a girl. I said "no way" and he said "but of course we'll have it done!" - he couldn't see it any other way at first.

Then I showed him a lovely film about circumcision, and he was enlightened

I agree with the film idea...my husband was adamant that our son be circ'd because my 7 yo cousin had to have one done after repeated infections. Hubby said it would be less traumatic for an infant to be circ'd b/c he wouldn't remember it, and wasn't budging despite my repeated pleas. It looked like we were going to fight like hell about it (this went on for months) until I explained in detail how the procedure was done and offered to show him a video online. He didn't want to watch the video, and I said if he couldn't do that, how could he let something so cruel actually happen to our tiny helpless son? That finally got through to him and thankfully he agreed.

I hope your husband sees it your way soon...good luck and hugs to you.

And JayJay - I'm so sorry about Josie being taken from you so soon. Huge hugs to you too...you are so strong, I really admire you for that.

[JLKMneely]

Update about DH wanting circ'ed son

Just giving you an update from the winner of the argument. That night I sat down and read him tons of material and showed him a video. He was hesitant but after I told my dh that I was NOT going to sign the concent form he gave in and said fine.

Thank you all for your support.

Jessica

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Thank you for the update

The real winner here is your ds. I am sure eventually your dh will explain to you more why he felt the way he did and maybe your ds will help him heal.

[Greg B]

Way to go!!!!

[gstarnyc]

why start your boy's life making a decision he can regret

for the rest of his life. This is a one way decision and if you son wants it done he will have it done to himself. I found out I was cir'd as an infant at age six. This has bothered me ever since. As many times as I hear mom and dad thought they were doing me a favor does not make up for what happened.

Your son's opinion is the only one that counts here. It is his body and he will live with the results for a lifetime.

I have to wonder what people gain by removing a choice such as this, in their son's life.

[ColoradoMama]

You rock! Way to stand up for your son.

[Yulia_R]

:

[perspective]

Originally Posted by JLKMneely

Just giving you an update from the winner of the argument. That night I sat down and read him tons of material and showed him a video. He was hesitant but after I told my dh that I was NOT going to sign the concent form he gave in and said fine.

Thank you all for your support.

Jessica

Its great that you convinced him, but I think your looking at this the wrong way if you view this as "winning the argument" In the end this has nothing to do with what you or your husband think, you guys could think painting his penis purple was the best thing in the world for him, but it doesn't matter. The whole point (which I know you know, and I just hope you relayed to him too, was) that circumcision should be your sons decision (if he ever decided to do it that is).

[mommyminer]

Good for you!!! I'm so happy my son is intact.