Lights out at sleepover

[raisinghumans]

My 9 y/o dd has just begun to have friends for sleepovers.

Just curious if you let your kids chit chat the night away or do you enforce a quiet/lights out rule at a certain time?

My dd is with a friend right now and it is 11pm and they are up and about and making noise. I don't want to be a mean mom but at the same time I am tired! I asked them to turn lights out at 10pm and they were pretty good with that but they have been pretty noisy so I went and asked them to keep it down. Am I a grouch? I would like to continue having kids over for sleepovers so I think I need to know what my strategy is going to be. Do you think the parents wish I would get them to sleep at a decent time so I don't send them home the next day grumpy and tired? Or do you think I should back off and let them have their silly fun?

Just curious what you all do?

ETA: It is now after midnight and they are still chatting more than I care for despite the fact that I have asked them to sshhhh. Grumble, I am going to be the tired and grumpy one tomorrow.

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

I can't make my own kids go to bed, much less someone else's, lol. The only way I might care is if they were doing something that woke my partners or the little ones (tramping up and down the stairs like elephants or something ).

[OakBerry]

I think at a sleep over, all bets are off. The kids are excited, it's a deviation from their "norm". You can't force them to fall asleep.

My 6 year old and his 8 year old cousin have sleep overs every few months.
No matter what, they end up giggling and chattering until at least 10:30, sometimes much later. Even after the first few times.
I make them have lights out at 9:30, and as long as they aren't too loud, they can talk as long as they want.

So, I expect a grumpy, tired kid the next day. That's why we don't do them very often, and only when we don't have big plans for the next day.

[mommy68]

I chose lights out at a certain time but talking and giggling permitted. I doubt I could stop the talking/giggling even if I tried. But I know that my DD would stay up until midnight if I didn't enforce a bedtime for her, so I'd have to have a cutoff point.

[TiredX2]

For a "normal" sleepover (1-2 kids invited) we generally let the kids watch a movie starting around 9pm. After the movie it is expected that they will start "trying" to go to sleep, but that generally means they are up until 12-1am talking and giggling.

For a "slumber party" (DD's 10th birthday, 5-6 kids invited) I just went to bed and told them where the food and stuff was. They slept an average of 4-5 hours I think.

[Jessy1019]

Late lights out, talking and giggling permitted. I wouldn't push the issue, either . . . if they wanted to keep the lights on, that would be okay.

My daughter is only 6.5 now, and I've generally pushed for lights out around midnight . . . but that's partially because I feel compelled to stay up with the littler ones. I think by the time the kids are nine or ten, I won't feel that compulsion anymore. I'm not even really sure why I feel it now.

[ChetMC]

Closest Answer

I said "late lights out, talking and giggling permitted" because that's the closest answer for me. I wouldn't actually make them turn out the lights, but i would expect them to not be roaming through the entire house like it's the middle of the day. Where they stay sort of depends on the configuration of the house and where they're sleeping, but I'm imagining the kids basically staying in the child's bedroom with occasional trips to the bathroom or the refrigerator once other people in the house start going to bed.

Our kids are young though. If we found ourselves having a preschool aged sleepover I'd consider that more like babysitting and I'd put some effort into getting our guest to sleep at a decent, though probably later than usual, time.

[hipumpkins]

Originally Posted by Jessy1019

Late lights out, talking and giggling permitted. I wouldn't push the issue, either . . . if they wanted to keep the lights on, that would be okay.

My daughter is only 6.5 now, and I've generally pushed for lights out around midnight . . . but that's partially because I feel compelled to stay up with the littler ones. I think by the time the kids are nine or ten, I won't feel that compulsion anymore. I'm not even really sure why I feel it now.

I voted stay up and I can't believe I'm more lenient than Jessy.
BTW. we only had one sleepover without the parent also staying and the little girl was ready for bed so I tucked in Rylie (oops I mean the other little girl ) and Johanna and got them settled for bed.
But they were allowed to be awake and chat.

[phathui5]

My ds has one friend who regularly spends the night, so I do make them turn the lights out and be quiet when I go to bed.

[SAHDS]

After lights out, I don't mind if they giggle and whisper.

The time is dependent on the schedule. Last week 2 of DD's friends stayed over. They're all on the same softball team and had a game the next morning at 9 (meaning we had to be up by 7:30 to eat, get their stuff together and get dressed in their gear). We laid them down at 8:30 in front of the t.v. to watch A League of their Own and dimmed the lights. It was over around 10:15 when the lights went out. They fell asleep around 11. Last month, when there was nothing to do on the Saturday, I let DD and another friend stay up until 12 (technically) when we had to carry them up to bed (they had fallen asleep in front of the t.v. while we all watched a movie).

I think midnight is definitely the latest.

[kblackstone444]

For a sleepover? As long as they're not disturbing the rest of the family, let them stay up as late as they want. I remember sleepovers in my childhood eating ice cream and watching MTV at 3 am... just because I could. Sleepovers are supposed to be special, so why not let them have some special fun. If they're not doing it every day, it won't hurt them.

For a sleepover where the children need to be somewhere early in the morning, like SAHDS' example, there needs to be a little more scheduling in place, I think. Perhaps a later bedtime, but not all night?