in the hospital till she comes. UPDATED AGAIN!

[mamarootoo]

well, after a month of dealing with asthma related issues, i'm in the hospital until they decide Lila is here.
none of the medications are working, and it's just a matter of time till she'll be better off on the outside.

they're going to do an amnio today to see if her lungs are ready, which they most likely will be, since i'm 35w4d, and i've been taking steroids for a month.

they did an ultrasound last night to see how big she is... they're guessing 8lbs. but we'll see. my midwife thought she was about 5-6lbs not quite a week ago, and i'd trust her more than the ultrasound.

i would have to laugh if i ended up with an 8lb preemie though! steroids can make babies grow like that, so it's not out of the question.

anyway, just thought i'd give an update. kinda crappy, and not at all what i wanted my birth to be like, but at this point i am so done with all the complications, resulting medications, complications resulting from the medications, etc. that i just don't care that much anymore.

as long as Lila is healthy, i'll be happy. i'm confident that we will be able to work out any nursing issues. wish me luck. i'll post pics when she gets here

[Asher]

I hope she (and you) will be okay and she can be in your arms safely and quickly.

[JD5351]

8lbs? You sure are baking a ham in there, huh? LOL If she really IS that big, wouldn't she be like 10-11lbs by 40 weeks then? EEK!

I'm sorry things aren't going as well as you planned, but the important thing is to keep you and Miss Lila healthy. Get plenty of rest and keep us updated.

[Smithie]

Thinking of you! It must be a relief to have the action plan finally decided on and the end in sight, even though it's not what you had hoped for...

[j_p_i]

You'll be in my thoughts! Hopefully you'll have some answers soon, and your LO can be in your arms!

[lil_miss_understood]

There's not a single person who can say you didn't fight the good fight, so to speak. I'm sorry things didn't turn out as you'd hoped.
You and Lila are in my thoughts.

[mamarootoo]

Originally Posted by Smithie

Thinking of you! It must be a relief to have the action plan finally decided on and the end in sight, even though it's not what you had hoped for...

it really is. at this point, the only options left would be to basically "spam" my body with different drugs, in hopes that maybe something else is triggering the asthma, but when she's so close to full term, i just hate the idea of exposing her to who-knows-what for another few weeks.

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

There's not a single person who can say you didn't fight the good fight, so to speak. I'm sorry things didn't turn out as you'd hoped.
You and Lila are in my thoughts.

that really made me feel good! thanks so much!

[~Katie~]

I'm keeping you both in my thoughts and I hope you make a quick recovery from your asthma issues after the birth

[LisaG]

Laura, sounds like you're doing your very best in a challenging situation that's been going on for so long I hope you are able to breathe easily again soon (both literally and figuratively)! Take good care of yourself and know that we're cheering you and Lila on

[Kelly1101]

*hugs* I hope all goes well with you and your baby...

(and hey, mine was 7 lb 4 oz at 36 weeks, so, anything's possible...)

[Full Heart]

Originally Posted by JacquelineR

There's not a single person who can say you didn't fight the good fight, so to speak. I'm sorry things didn't turn out as you'd hoped.
You and Lila are in my thoughts.

Ditto this.

And a good sized premie would still be preferable over a teeny tiny one . It'd be a hoot if you ended up with an 8 lber. Fingers crossed all goes well

[surprisedmama]

Take care mama! If nothing else enjoy being served in the hospital before you little one comes. You are almost 36 weeks I am sure your little one will be perfect

[mamarootoo]

a little update

so we're still hanging out in the hospital. they started the last ditch effort to fix my lungs (a big push of IV steroids ) and if it's not better by wednesday, they'll deliver Lila wednesday or thursday. she'll be 36w on wednesday.

my husband is on PTO and paternity leave for up to a month (he has two weeks of each) and my mom and dad both took this week off to stay with our 2yo DD at our house. my mom will stay another week after Lila comes, to help out.

our DD is doing really well. she didn't even cry when they left for the night this evening! DH thought that would make me sad (like she doesn't need me) but it makes it so much easier for me to be here! i die inside when i know she's crying and i'm not there to kiss away her tears. we've been here 3 days and this is our third night. the longest we'd been away from her before this was overnight. it's different now, because we see her during the day for visits, but still... i'll be here for an entire week (at least) assuming we have the c-section on wednesday.
she's running my parent's ragged (she's a very high need, busy little girl ) but they are all having a good time. she's even staying on normal naptime/bathtime/nighttime schedule!

some other good things: they moved us up to the mother-baby unit yesterday from L&D, which is M U C H more comfortable. i haven't spent this much time alone with DH since our honeymooon! my mom is somehow managing to get my laundry done and house cleaned up while i'm laying around playing video games w/ DH the high risk OBs have been really good about explaining the risk vs. benefits for all the treatments i've been getting. they've also respected my decisions when i declined something (thanks, but i'm not interested in spamming my body with random drus in hope that *something* will help!)

thanks for all the positive words, ladies. i can't tell you all how much it means to me to be able to vent about this whole mess to people who understand! no one has been either flippant or judgmental about all this the whole time i've been complaining about it over the last month.
i wish i could say the same for the people i know in real life! i swear it's split 50/50 between people who think "what's the big deal with using medications/ delivering early?!" and "i can't believe you're doing that to your unborn child!"

this is getting kind of long, so i'll stop now. i'm not used to having all this time on my hands!

[iana703]

Oh big mama. I am so glad you are at least comfortable. We all know that you are doing what is best for yourself and your baby. On a side note what games are you playing with your DH, we play games a lot in our house too!

[Asher]

Keeping you and Lila in our thoughts!

[LisaG]

Thanks for the update Laura - glad to hear things are going relatively smoothly and that you're having a teeny bit of fun with dh and the video games

Sorry to hear you aren't getting more support from people irl : I just don't get that. Glad we can give you lots of good support here

[Amydoula]

Good luck! I hope everything goes very smoothly.

[j_p_i]

Thanks for the update mama! I'll keep you in my thoughts! Although I'm glad you're getting a chance to spend time with your hubby and you are really keeping in good spirits. Sorry to hear about the lack of support from some of your RL friends, I know that can be frustrating! There are plenty of hugs for you here!

[russianthistle]

s Laura, be strong. mama.

[catters]

I'm sorry to hear you've had such hardships this time around, but you seem in bright spirits and wish you and Lila (and the rest of your family) joy and happiness when your new little girl gets here.