Who else has short boys?

[mkmama]

I hate the social stigma of "Tall = Man". You know? I am 5'3 and my huband is 5'5. So little DS is a shorty, just hitting 3T clothes...but does fine in his 2T clothes from LAST SUMMER. Feet are size 8, the size i see a lot of 1 1/2 to 2 year olds.

Anyways, he's an awesome kid but he gets treated younger sometimes because he is so little. Doesn't help that his two cousins tower above him with super tall genes...and they are girls. One was born a week ahead of him.

So anyway, i love who he is and yet i find myself saying to people (before they say anything) "yeah, he's little". Why do i do that? He is who he is and i don't want my DS to think i think being short is bad. I mean, i dated all shorter guys and married one! I love short! But still, its obviously an internal issue of some sort.

Thoughts? Commiseration?

[HoneyTree]

I found myself thinking about this lately. Someone reminded me that statistically, tall men make more money and get promoted faster than short men. And this bothered me. I think we make so much the physical, and why? Honestly, what man can say that being 6' instead of 5'4" has made him happy, or enlightened, or wiser, or whatever his pursuit in life is?

I have two boys, and both extremes of height in both my family and my husband's, so it could go either way for both of them. And while I can recognize the bias for tallness in our culture, I can't give it more than passing notice, because if I want to teach my boys to value the true person--our words, actions, and relationships--then I have to get over it myself. This is the hard part, for me, changing myself and my own perceptions.

So, I try to catch myself making value judgments about my or others' children and instead just recognizing the beauty that is another life. I know that sounds kooky, but it has helped me immensely to scale everything way back and appreciate that another person is simply living on the same Earth and breathing the same air and trying to love and be loved just like me.

[Daffodil]

My DS is likely to end up short, too, since I'm only 5'0' and DP isn't quite 5'8''. He seems to be smaller than most of the other kids his age we come across. He's a bit older than your boy, and it sounds like they're about the same size. But, you know, at this age his relative smallness doesn't seem obvious to people. People sometimes remark on how big he is. Even people who know other kids his age and who you would expect to see him as small. So I don't think you should assume everyone else is looking at him and thinking about how little he is, or imagining he's younger than he really is. I think in reality a lot of people don't have a clear idea how big a kid "ought" to be at a certain age, and are not good at estimating a kid's age.

You know what I think would be a lot more difficult for a kid than being short for his age? Being extra tall. There was a kid the same age as my son who we used to see sometimes at playgroup, who was extraordinarily tall for his age. At 2 1/2, he could easily have passed for a 5 year old. But he still wore diapers, and talked like a 2 1/2 year old, and I could just imagine how people might react to him, seeing how babyish he was for what they thought his age was.

[mmace]

I saw this under "New Posts" and just had to respond...I am 5'3"ish and the one I love claims to be 5'2". I think he fibs a bit! kekeke My ex-husband was 6'0". Not much to say other than the fact that my sweetheart is highly successful, a great junior high school wrestling coach, a wonderful father to his 17 year old son (who lives with him full-time) and fantastic with my children. Oh, and he's a pretty good smoocher too! When he walks into a room you know it - he has a strength, and a prescence - you see a man when you see him, a man with self-confidence. My friend told me once that with him you see a big man, no matter how tall he is.

[SAHDS]

Little ones over here too. DD is almost 10 and about 4'3" (58 lbs.). DS is 8.5 and just hit 4' (and is 44 lbs.). DH was really tiny all through his life but grew 5" in one summer (he's 6' and the smallest male in his family) so I expect the same for DS. DD may get some height later, all the women in DH's family are 5'9"+. I'm short (5'2.5", LOL) but the kids take after DH more (physically).

Anyway, you should check out the small/skinny kids tribe in the "parenting" area. There are tons of us with little ones who talk about the comments, the looks, the struggles, etc.

[mkmama]

Thanks for that tribe. didn't know.

[SunshineSwirl]

My Baby Boy born 4.20.06, and although he fits into 3T fine, he always appeared to me on the shorter side and he is also only size 8 shoe. What I am more worried about than a stigma from other taller boys, is his sister might tower over him as she keeps shooting up taking after her tall grandmother! But I figure he's a good candidate as a gymnast for Cirque Du Soleil, so no longer upset!

[Ak Mom]

My youngest is little as well-still fitting into some size 2 clothes and wears a size 8 shoe as well.

What it is hard for me is that his older brother is on the other end of the spectrum and is tall and big footed. It is really hard for me to not compare...

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

My youngest two are very short for their age. They can still wear some of their clothes from last summer too. It's no real surprise, since their daddy is 5'6" and I'm 5'4", though my middle children have always been on the low side of average for height (my oldest takes after my father and is tall). People do frequently think Jesse and Davin are younger than they are, though that doesn't bother me. They've both tested as profoundly gifted, so they're going to have great opportunities in life whether they're 5' or 6' tall.

[MusicianDad]

Just jumping in to say that it does irritate me when people can't seem to get that men can be short (and not the 5'8 kind of short either). Now true I'm 6 feet and DH is taller then me, but I know a few men who are shorter then "the average man", I use quotes because average hight for a man tends to be viewed by society as short for a man. It varies from country to country, but here in Canada it's 5'8. The shortest guy I know is 5'3 and doesn't really care about it...

Seth Green is 5'4 and Daniel Radcliff is 5'5 (last I checked)... so height isn't everything.

[mazajo]

My older 3 DSs are all short, especially the oldest. At 16 he is 5'4, maybe 5'5? He was always at least a full head shorter than everybody in his class. He always wore clothes two sizes behind his age, like a size 2T when he was 4. I know around 9 or 10 years old seemed to be the worst for kids teasing him but he got through it and he's doing great now, he doesn't seem to be all that bothered by his height at all. And if it doesn't bother him, it sure shouldn't bother anybody else!

When he was struggling with it, it did help to look up famous men who are short!

[Phoebe]

Your son is adorable!

I too have a shorty. I am 5" 1' and dh is about 5" 10'. My middle son was born short and he is still a shorty...I have a feeling he is going to trend that way forever. There are no tall people in our families. It's no surprise. However, ds1 was shaping up to be very tall but is now 'average' at 5yo. Poor little ds2, he's 2.5 and he runs around, blonde curls bouncing with pink cheeks and poofy lips and big blue eyes. People say "she's sooooooo cute!". That's when I start in with the "well, he's a boy. he is kind of a shorty though". Why do I do that too??
I'm glad you brought my attention to it. I"m going to stop that!!

[mlsantarem]

My guy is in a little package also. He is 9 yo and I frankly don´t remember how tall he is but in the class he is the eldest and the smallest and is about the 7% in the charts. He does periodically go through phases when his feels sensitive about his size as did I unfortunately. Luckly, his dad was completely unphased by it which I believe because he (my son) is a great little soccer player (which is both of their passion) and also my husband (5 9-10) is not very tall but has a very strong personality. There are a number of advantages to being a bit small, for my son, he was able to enter into a grade behind without it being very obvious from his size and was treated a bit more with kit glove which is what he needed at the time. I have to say he doesn´t seem to be treated as if he younger now because of the his mature body shape and the way he carries himself. It is fun to see him with his best friend who is the tallest in the class and is atleast a head taller but you can tell that my son interms of maturity my son is atleast a head taller.

Speaking of other countries and height it was when I started to notice my son seem to be much smaller then other classmates (6yo) I was talking to my sister who is married to an asian-africian, she said just bring around here he will be gigantic!

[sunnmama]

Originally Posted by mkmama

But still, its obviously an internal issue of some sort.

I think it is key that your examine this as your own issue. Maybe it would help to have a planned response to give if/when people comment on his size. Something like a cheerful "Yep. He takes after his daddy " might work.

I'm another woman who loves short men

[northwoods1995]

My son is very small. He is the oldest in his class and the shortest. Dh and I are about average height now I think. (maybe slightly shorter than average?--eta I just looked it up and we are both the exact average height) My DD is 2 years younger and almost the same height.

It doesn't seem to phase him at this point.

[*LoveBugMama*]

My sons is small, too. He is the shortest (almost) 8 YO I know. But he is absolutely perfect, and a really, really cool guy.

[ExuberantDaffodil]

I have a short son, too I'm short, as well. We call ourselves fun-sized

[carmel23]

My oldest is very short for his age, but then I'm 5 feet tall and my dh is average.

He is the shortest kid in his class, and in 2nd grade shorter then some kids in K.

But we talk about it a lot, and have a close family friend who is a very short man (like maybe 5'2"). We look at all the positives--low center of gravity so he'll be an awesome surfer, skater, etc.

And when you get older it isn't such an issue...

I knew so many kids growing up, guys especially, who seemed short through elementary school but then really shot up in high school. So who knows...

But we're a family of shorties here!

edit to add: I always tell him that he is short in stature but makes up for it where it counts (he is a giant in his imagination/intelligence).