Christian and Crunchy?

[PaigeC]

Hi all, this is my first post on the spirituality board so, HI!

I've been increasingly frustrated lately and I'm hoping someone else can share experiences, advice, or just tell me I'm not alone.

I am a Christian (non-denominational "generic" Christian, lol) and I've been very involved in a Christian infertility message board for a few years. They really got me through difficult times dealing with IVF. Then I got pregnant and the differences started to show. They were very mainstream which didn't surprise me or offend me - I integrated my views here and there.

Now that my daughter is born I moved to the "motherhood" section of these particular boards and I just can't even stand it. They all CIO and worse Babywise their poor little babies! 4 weeks old and they are CIO. I can't even stand to read the boards and when I post "crunchy" stuff (like - gasp! - comfort your infant) I seem to be the only one advocating this stuff. They hadn't even heard of Attachment Parenting.

I've been looking for other Christian parenting boards and they seem to all be the same and I'm feeling quite alone. Like AP is the polar opposite of Christianity which I don't believe. It is frustrating to me since I'm often alone on my political beliefs...but now it is like my whole life is out of sync with other Christians and I feel alone.

I could separate the two parts of my life - motherhood without christiantiy and then christianity without motherhood - but for me they really are integrated. I parent the way I do in part because of my faith, I don't want to keep them separate.

Am I the only one? Is there no community of fellow hippie, liberal, christians out there?

[dislocator3972]

Me! I'm out there! And I've found a few scattered friends that are there as well. I'm preggo with number one now, but I know exactly when my christian friends will object to my crunchy parenting and my crunchy friends will object to my spirituality. My faith does NOT dictate that I follow blindly whatever I'm told and neither do my beliefs about anything dictate my faith. And so, I work for balance and integration.

Unfortunately, to be accepted in either circle, it's easy to feel pressured into compromising your values. That's one reason I've so enjoyed MDC, people seem much more loving here, even loving people who go against the grain!

And there seem to be lots of mamas who value both their spirituality and their hippie ways. I hope you can find as much support here as I have!

[HisBeautifulWife]

Can you define crunchy, and also what parts of it that people say are not compatible with Christianity?

[PaigeC]

Originally Posted by HisBeautifulWife

Can you define crunchy, and also what parts of it that people say are not compatible with Christianity?

I know crunchy can mean alot of things but in general - not mainstream like all of the things here at MDC.

As far as incompatibility, I certainly don't think there is any personally. But if you've ever read excerpts of Ezzo's books he actually uses biblical sources to advocate a parenting style that is the opposite of AP.

[kimiij]

There's another christian board for ap parents. I think it's called Gentle Christian Mothering. Google it, there are definitely christians who are crunchy. Being crunchy does not interfere with christianity.

[HisBeautifulWife]

Originally Posted by PaigeC

I know crunchy can mean alot of things but in general - not mainstream like all of the things here at MDC.
.

Then I guess it depends on the individual aspects that make up "crunchy" as a whole.

Some things I agree with on this forum, others I don't because they conflict with what the Bible says. So I guess to answer your question you would have to take it piece by piece and not look at it as a whole.

I wouldn't make a blanket statement about whether it does or does not conflict with Christianity without knowing what aspects you are referring to.

JMHO.

[Whistler]

Me! Me! Pick me! Sometimes I feel SO caught between the two... Christian and Crunchy. I did check out GCM, but didn't really "click" as it seemed mainly about GD and I was looking more for unschooling. I do know that Christian and Crunchy are not mutually exclusive even though a lot of people seem to think so!

[PaulaJoAnne]

I have been longing for this very thing!!!
Granted, a number of women are this very thing on this board, but it would be awsome to be able to apply scripture, the Lord, etc., without everyone else feeling alianated (sp?).
Anyway we could maybe start a Bible Believers, mothering, crunchy forum?
It would be so very awsome!!!!

[Christopher]

There are crunchy Christian dads out there, too! I'm one of them. You're not alone Paige, even if at times it feels that way.

[Whistler]

Mothering and Fathering.

At least there are some of us here.

[PaigeC]

Oh I'm so happy I'm not alone! And a Dad too!

I'll definitely check out that other forum but I'm so happy there are some other crunchy Christians here at MDC.

So, maybe we can use this thread for issues/discussion and see how it goes?

Here's a starter for us: Are you vocal about AP topics with fellow Christians? For me, listening to discussions of CIO just makes me want to cry for those babies but I don't know how to engage in conversation about it. I had an experience of using modern research to explain why CIO is bad for babies but I was kind of shunned for putting "more trust in medicine than God." I didn't really have a come back for that. Same with my choice to not vaccinate - when I offer research it seems to just weaken my point for some instead of strengthen it. It feels like they reject science as the antithesis of Godliness?

I have other thoughts but I want to hear yours!

[hopefulfaith]

I am vocal about it when I am directly confronted or asked about it. It is because of my Christian beliefs that I practice AP.

I treat my children the way I believe Jesus would treat them. When my baby cried, I comforted him. When my baby was hungry, I fed him. When my baby needed to know how much was loved, I picked him up and loved him. These are all very direct actions that were guided by my belief in Scripture and faith in God.

[Bluegoat]

There is a thread somewhere here called Crunch Christian Mamas.

[JMJ]

Originally Posted by hopefulfaith

I am vocal about it when I am directly confronted or asked about it. It is because of my Christian beliefs that I practice AP.

I treat my children the way I believe Jesus would treat them. When my baby cried, I comforted him. When my baby was hungry, I fed him. When my baby needed to know how much was loved, I picked him up and loved him. These are all very direct actions that were guided by my belief in Scripture and faith in God.

My thoughts exactly. A lot of Christians are really great about acknowledging the humanity of our children before birth, but then the moment they are born, all their parenting techniques are for the convenience of the parents, not the good of the children. Also, a lot of Christians I know act like children are naturally evil and need to be trained to be good rather than naturally good and need to be guided to find wonderful ways of expressing their goodness.

My 4 week old DD is as much a person in this family as my DH and myself. When she expresses that she has a need, I do my best to meet her needs just as my father in heaven answers all of my prayers. When I cry, I know that I can call on him, and he will be with me, comforting me because I am his child. Why, then, should I not do the same for my child? What would it be like if we cried and prayed, and God shut the door so that he could not hear our prayers, saying, "You've got to figure out how to do this yourself, without me."?

[hopefulfaith]

Originally Posted by JMJ

My 4 week old DD is as much a person in this family as my DH and myself. When she expresses that she has a need, I do my best to meet her needs just as my father in heaven answers all of my prayers. When I cry, I know that I can call on him, and he will be with me, comforting me because I am his child. Why, then, should I not do the same for my child? What would it be like if we cried and prayed, and God shut the door so that he could not hear our prayers, saying, "You've got to figure out how to do this yourself, without me."?

This is exactly how I see it, too.

[Whistler]

Originally Posted by PaigeC

Oh I'm so happy I'm not alone! And a Dad too!

I'll definitely check out that other forum but I'm so happy there are some other crunchy Christians here at MDC.

So, maybe we can use this thread for issues/discussion and see how it goes?

Here's a starter for us: Are you vocal about AP topics with fellow Christians? For me, listening to discussions of CIO just makes me want to cry for those babies but I don't know how to engage in conversation about it. I had an experience of using modern research to explain why CIO is bad for babies but I was kind of shunned for putting "more trust in medicine than God." I didn't really have a come back for that. Same with my choice to not vaccinate - when I offer research it seems to just weaken my point for some instead of strengthen it. It feels like they reject science as the antithesis of Godliness?

I have other thoughts but I want to hear yours!

It's tough for me to argue with people. Plus, I don't feel like I necessarily have everything 100% figured out so I don't need to preach to my friends. The other day a friend with a baby was talking about CIO and I just said "I'm not a fan of CIO" and left it at that.

I have trouble the other way if I choose to do something that isn't strictly AP. I'm scared that I'll get flamed here if I mention it. A few things have caught me off guard since I am still kind of new to AP and all the terminology. I mean I have worn my babies and co-slept and breastfed and cooked healthy for years but I thought I was the only one lol. Imagine my surprise in coming here!

[AlwaysByMySide]

There is a whole thread on this somewhere...

I can't really picture Jesus saying, "Leave your children in a crib and let them cry for as long as they need to to fall asleep." I mean, that's basically how I try to run the rest of my life, as Jesus would (or would instruct me to do). So it makes sense to me that Christians would be AP.

[Bluegoat]

Originally Posted by Whistler

It's tough for me to argue with people. Plus, I don't feel like I necessarily have everything 100% figured out so I don't need to preach to my friends. The other day a friend with a baby was talking about CIO and I just said "I'm not a fan of CIO" and left it at that.

I have trouble the other way if I choose to do something that isn't strictly AP. I'm scared that I'll get flamed here if I mention it. A few things have caught me off guard since I am still kind of new to AP and all the terminology. I mean I have worn my babies and co-slept and breastfed and cooked healthy for years but I thought I was the only one lol. Imagine my surprise in coming here!

This is true for me too. I actually try to avoid labels like AP, because I think they tend to get in the way. Instead of saying I think X is a bad idea, people just say it's not AP. But if you look at this site, it actually covers a fairly diverse group of people. I think that overall they are people who have a kind of confidence in our biology - our bodies and minds and our children's bodies and minds work in a way that is good and we should respect that.

[PaigeC]

Originally Posted by Bluegoat

There is a thread somewhere here called Crunch Christian Mamas.

I just saw that! Thanks

[tempestjewel]

Here's where a lot of them hang out, if you haven't been already:

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/