Originally Posted by princesstutu
Okay, so for the sake of conversation, I'd like to respectfully add thoughts and questions to this topic.
Why are so many people stressing gender when it comes to their babies/children?
we are attempting to raise our child in a neutral way. to me, it seems to be unstressing rather than stressing gender. to stress would equal placing emphasis upon. to raise a child in a neutral environment, would ideally remove the stress.
I understand educating children on the fluidity and even nonsense of "traditional" gender roles. I understand how gender role assumptions can/have lead to sexism, classism, etc. But, I do not understand the desire to stress raising an androgynous child.
For me, I don't care if my boys wore purple and pink and dressed in tutus, etc. I don't care if my daughters played with trucks, etc. To me, that stuff is just about being human...everything is for everybody. I educate my kids on my views and the views of others, if they ask, seem uncomfortable, etc.
i absolutely believe that everything is for everybody, too. however, in our society, it doesn't work that way. people perceived as girls are assigned the color pink. if you want to disagree with that, take a look at the toys in the store. pink is for girls, while the other stuff is for everybody else. it seems also that there is an emphasis upon what traits are described as 'masculine' are of greater importance, or are more acceptable, or are the default. just consider the difference in a parent who's proud of a tomboy little girl vs. the reaction over 'toemageddon"
assigning a gender to colors and attaching that to a prescribed set of behaviors is extremely limiting. i want my child to choose which traits or skills to learn and how to behave in a way that is distinct and separate from what is narrowly approved for a young female in our society to perform.
So, while I understand how gender leads into a lot of social ills, I don't understand why that is translating into "let's be gender-free". It seems to me that does not address any of the roots of the social ills, just one of the symptoms. maybe. however i think that buying into or participating in the genderization and stereotyping perpetuates the problem. i think here, it's important to be active and vocal about WHY your child is not wearing pink or WHY it's not ok to assume that a child with long hair is a girl, etc.
Besides...I have no problem being female. As a matter of fact, I love it! And, I would not want to deny my child the opportunity to love him/herself fully. Androgyny does not guarantee anything. What is the intent of stressing gender to that point?
i think you're confused about the difference in androgyny and raising a young child in a neutral environment. i think most parents have the goal of raising a child who loves one's self. the difference is, by avoiding purchasing things or having a television to broadcast to my child that he or she must like x, y, or z because of the genetalia he or she was born with, hopefully my child can choose to like x, y, or z because it's interesting or because he or she has made an authentic choice rather than an influenced one.
It seems reactionary to me, and as an organizer, I see how unsustainable reactionary stances are.
not sure how to answer this. what's the opposite of reaction?