I tried to post this in TAO, but it didn't appear. So, I thought I'd try it over here!
Mods, I'm not putting this over in "Grief and Loss" as this is about celebrating a life, not mourning their death.
I just wanted to ask for opinions!
I am in the beginning process of designing my Dad's headstone. He died in November.
It was a busy Winter & Spring (we're preparing his house to sell, involving a LOT of renovations!) and very stressful. I want his headstone to be special, so I waited until I had the time to really dedicate myself to its design and not making hasty decisions.
My Mom (age 88) is a stroke survivor, but doesn't remember that Dad has died (she has functional dementia). We don't talk about it with her as it is like opening a wound, over and over again. It's as though it's the first time she hears of it. Too painful to put her through, kwim?
So, I am not asking for her input on the design and she won't be visiting the cemetery until it's her time to stay there, permanently.
My siblings have had no involvement (their decision/choice) with our parents for years. My brother was annoyed that I interrupted a meeting he was in, when I called him to say Dad had been buried that morning (I didn't know he was in a meeting, just thought he'd want to know!)
: . They don't call to see how Mom is doing. 
So, I'm not asking for their opinions. They haven't helped in any way in the past, which pretty much eliminates their part in this plan.
So, that brings it to me to design the only solid "forever" item that will say my Dad existed on this old Earth!
I want something that is unique, something that will make people visting the cemetery say, "Hey, this man sounded like an interesting guy!" Something that will make friends and family smile and chuckle, with love and memories, when they see it, too.
Anyone who knew my Dad knew he loved crossword puzzles. They were his only pleasure in the last few months of his life (he'd even cut-back on smoking and drinking). He started doing them when he was a kid and was never without one nearby (he died on his 88th birthday).
Anyway, I am designing his headstone in the manner of a crossword puzzle, with all the things that describe him (plus, date/city/state of birth & death): husband, Dad, brother, USAF veteran, navigator (WWII), friend, hero, golfer, his nickname at the golf course where he used to play, plus more (including a favorite phrase that only close family and friends will understand!). The words all intersect, very much like a crossword puzzle (or, Scrabble, if that is easier to envision!).
It will also have a small image of the B-24 bomber, in which he flew 50 combat missions in WWII Europe, that was his favorite. There will be a bronze military plaque on the reverse of the headstone, to mark his service career and commendations, along with a photo medallion of him at age 18, when he graduated from flight school (wearing his leather helmet, silk scarf and goggles on top of his helmet!).
The monument company said they could do this, no problem.
Ds and dh think it is great (ds said he thought my Dad would really love it). My conservative and traditional fil thinks it is wonderful.
Do you think this is a cool idea?
Mom's headstone will have Egyptian hieroglyphics on it, a quote from the tomb of her favorite pharaoh (which she visited in 1984)! She has been fascinated with Egypt since she was 5 and read a National Geographic about the discovery of Tut's tomb.
Honest comments, please!
Mods, I'm not putting this over in "Grief and Loss" as this is about celebrating a life, not mourning their death.
I just wanted to ask for opinions!
I am in the beginning process of designing my Dad's headstone. He died in November.
It was a busy Winter & Spring (we're preparing his house to sell, involving a LOT of renovations!) and very stressful. I want his headstone to be special, so I waited until I had the time to really dedicate myself to its design and not making hasty decisions.
My Mom (age 88) is a stroke survivor, but doesn't remember that Dad has died (she has functional dementia). We don't talk about it with her as it is like opening a wound, over and over again. It's as though it's the first time she hears of it. Too painful to put her through, kwim?
So, I am not asking for her input on the design and she won't be visiting the cemetery until it's her time to stay there, permanently.My siblings have had no involvement (their decision/choice) with our parents for years. My brother was annoyed that I interrupted a meeting he was in, when I called him to say Dad had been buried that morning (I didn't know he was in a meeting, just thought he'd want to know!)
: . They don't call to see how Mom is doing. So, I'm not asking for their opinions. They haven't helped in any way in the past, which pretty much eliminates their part in this plan.So, that brings it to me to design the only solid "forever" item that will say my Dad existed on this old Earth!
I want something that is unique, something that will make people visting the cemetery say, "Hey, this man sounded like an interesting guy!" Something that will make friends and family smile and chuckle, with love and memories, when they see it, too.
Anyone who knew my Dad knew he loved crossword puzzles. They were his only pleasure in the last few months of his life (he'd even cut-back on smoking and drinking). He started doing them when he was a kid and was never without one nearby (he died on his 88th birthday).
Anyway, I am designing his headstone in the manner of a crossword puzzle, with all the things that describe him (plus, date/city/state of birth & death): husband, Dad, brother, USAF veteran, navigator (WWII), friend, hero, golfer, his nickname at the golf course where he used to play, plus more (including a favorite phrase that only close family and friends will understand!). The words all intersect, very much like a crossword puzzle (or, Scrabble, if that is easier to envision!).
It will also have a small image of the B-24 bomber, in which he flew 50 combat missions in WWII Europe, that was his favorite. There will be a bronze military plaque on the reverse of the headstone, to mark his service career and commendations, along with a photo medallion of him at age 18, when he graduated from flight school (wearing his leather helmet, silk scarf and goggles on top of his helmet!).
The monument company said they could do this, no problem.
Ds and dh think it is great (ds said he thought my Dad would really love it). My conservative and traditional fil thinks it is wonderful.
Do you think this is a cool idea?
Mom's headstone will have Egyptian hieroglyphics on it, a quote from the tomb of her favorite pharaoh (which she visited in 1984)! She has been fascinated with Egypt since she was 5 and read a National Geographic about the discovery of Tut's tomb.
Honest comments, please!
