Boys using Men's room alone- what age? - Page 3

[churndash]

Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama

I'm sorry, was my post terribly unclear?

You said girls and their mothers in the ladies room may be uncomfortable with a boy being in the restroom.

So, speak up. Ask. "Do you mind if my boy is in here? He doesn't go in the men's room alone". If they mind, wait until they are out of the restroom then enter with son.

I'm sorry that you think I was rude by asking for clarifcation. For further clarification, I let my son use the men's room, so I would not need to ask. But thank you for explaining.

[eepster]

My nephew (who also has aspegers) started going by himself to the mens room around 5 yo.

DS can't go to the bathroom alone yet. He's 3 yo, and not tall enough to get himself up onto the seat without a boost. I plan to let DS go by himself when he feels ready. Just today we were out with my dad, and I asked DS if he wanted to go to the men's room with grandpa, or if he wanted to go to the lady's with mommy? He chose lady's with mom.

Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama

I'm sorry, was my post terribly unclear?

You said girls and their mothers in the ladies room may be uncomfortable with a boy being in the restroom.

So, speak up. Ask. "Do you mind if my boy is in here? He doesn't go in the men's room alone". If they mind, wait until they are out of the restroom then enter with son.

I would expect that most boys over about 5 yo would be extremely embarrassed if their moms did that.

[Hoopin' Mama]

Originally Posted by churndash

I'm sorry that you think I was rude by asking for clarifcation.

I did not think you were being rude. I was trying to answer the hypothetical situation you previously posted, and I don't think I was very clear as I was typing fast.

eepster - I don't have a child over 5, so I don't know what to expect from that age. My point is if there is a situation where other people may be uncomfortable there may be a simple way to work it out.

If I really feel that a bathroom is too big and crowded to send my son into alone, then I will opt for safety over worrying about who is embarassed.

[splotchy1]

Thank you everyone for your replies to my original message. And GoBecGo, I think your reply addressed my concerns very well. I think that over the next year, between the age of 6 and 7, I'm going to have to get comfortable with letting him use a men's room alone...for the sole reason that he is already uncomfortable having to always go with me in the ladies' room, and I think it will only get worse. I just need to prepare him for what the realities could be and how to react. I guess it is tricky because there are so many other things that go through my head. Even if someone didn't actually touch my son, there's a lot that someone else could be doing independently that could put my son in an awkward position. I heard today about something that happened in the next town over this week in a McDonald's bathroom. Those are small and seem harmless, but it just goes to show how easy it is to be too relaxed about the threat. Then, if I want to get really paranoid...I can think about people doing drugs in there, etc.

Sigh...I hate that this world can be so icky.