Grandmothers

[foreverinbluejeans]

I looked through all the tribes and didn't find grandmothers! I started reading Mothering in the late 70's early 80's. I have 3 adult sons and one 7 month old grandson. I sure would like to have other Mothering minded grandmothers to discuss things with.

[sophiesgrandma]

I started a thread a while back and it went on for a while and then kind of petered out. It was about 3 years ago when my first grandchild was born. I would love to join your thread. Lets see what happens

[smanore]

Oh Thank you, thank you. I've been wanting to see a grandmother's thread here. I too read Mothering in the 80s. I have 4 grown children and two grandsons. I'll look forward to seeing what starts here.

Sue

[smanore]

While I've been looking for a thread for grandmothers, I've also been looking for one that discusses 'attachment grandparenting'. Do you utilize some attachment parenting principles with your grandchildren (i.e. sling/carrier etc.)? We do with our grandbabies. TIA for any ideas and insights.

[Dakota's Mom]

I have five adult children ranging from 28 to 39, (will be 40 in October). I have 8 grandchildren ranging from 6 months to 17. And I have a six year old son at home. I am a stay at home mom, homeschooling my six year old. My daughter is also homeschooling her older two (ages 10 and 12). Her little one is only 2 so not yet homeschooling.

I use a lot of ap methods with my little one. Cloth diapered, some co-sleeping, especially as he got older. His foster mother had him trained to sleep very well in the crib. Didn't get to breastfeed him since he was adopted. But I did breastfeed most of my adult children. Used a sling with him a lot. I had a carrier for my daughter that was similar to a snugly but was handmade by La Leche League. She lived in that thing until she was 18 months old.

Glad to meet you all.

Kathi

[mamaSun loveMore]

Greetings!
I am not yet a grandmother, and I suspect it'll be a while... my oldest is 10!

But I was wondering if any of you are living with your children and their kids. We have a tribe called 'It Takes A Village' and we could really benefit from some of the grands perspective...

Check it out if you are interested...

Thank you!

[sewchris2642]

I'm here. I just joined MDC in Feb because of my dd, Joy (Funkymamajoy). Along with the 4 kids mentioned in my signature, I have 4 grandchildren. Alex (4), Lindsay (2), and Parker (4 months) belong to Joy and Adam. We all live together in a multi-generational house. Matilda (6 months) belongs to Erica and Brian. They live on the other side of town and I babysit Matilda when Erica is at work. My sister and parents also live here and so does my mother-in-law.

[sewchris2642]

Originally Posted by smanore

While I've been looking for a thread for grandmothers, I've also been looking for one that discusses 'attachment grandparenting'. Do you utilize some attachment parenting principles with your grandchildren (i.e. sling/carrier etc.)? We do with our grandbabies. TIA for any ideas and insights.

I don't use a sling, never have. Just not me, I guess. But I love my Gerry aluminum framed babypack. Matilda is now ready for it. I have already taken the back rest off my sewing chair. DH prefers to carry babies in his arms. We have taken Lindsay to bed with us when Joy and Adam have been out late. DH especially loves taking naps with babies. But then we have always parented according to each child's needs and preferences. Needs being considered first. Especially when needs and preferences collide as they did with Erica. I think that my signature says it all. We support and respect our children in all their parenting choices. We don't expect Joy and Adam or Erica and Brian to parent exactly as we did. They aren't us and they don't have the same children.

[juneweaver]

Glad to find this. Count me in. Mothering was my lifeline when I had my dd in 82. How alone I felt in my parenting choices back then and how awesome and healing and empowering it is to me to be able to tune in to so many mothering moms today, including my daughter who is mom to my 3yo Grandson. Would love to hear how similar yours and your childrens parenting styles and choices are. And, any support and suggestions of how to get from longdistance Grandparenting to a "village" or intergenerational living which I am very much for. Do you feel you have a special role to play in your Grandchildrens lives? Did any of you experience becoming a Grandparent as a tremendous rite of passage?

[sewchris2642]

Originally Posted by juneweaver

Glad to find this. Count me in. Mothering was my lifeline when I had my dd in 82. How alone I felt in my parenting choices back then and how awesome and healing and empowering it is to me to be able to tune in to so many mothering moms today, including my daughter who is mom to my 3yo Grandson. Would love to hear how similar yours and your childrens parenting styles and choices are. And, any support and suggestions of how to get from longdistance Grandparenting to a "village" or intergenerational living which I am very much for. Do you feel you have a special role to play in your Grandchildrens lives? Did any of you experience becoming a Grandparent as a tremendous rite of passage?

It was easy for me as everyone lives here within 6 miles of each other. And Joy and family live with us in a multi-generational home. I'd say that Erica and Joy have the same goals with their kids as dh and I had with ours and our parents had with us. Some of the externals are different. My mom used cloth diapers but didn't breastfeed or make her own baby food. I did all three. Joy does all three. Erica breastfeeds and makes baby food but uses disposable diapers. But those are all relative minor decisions in the 18+ years of childhood. Becoming a grandparent was just one more milestone on my life journey. It was more of a validation of our children being successful adults than any rite of passage for me.

[sophiesgrandma]

Becoming a grandmother was a rite of passage for me. I had no idea how much love and how protective I would feel for my dgd. I was supposed to be there at her birth but my dd gave birth 2 weeks early and I did'nt make it there till late at night. I live across the country. I walked into the hospital room and saw my dgd on my dd's chest and it was as if time stopped for a moment. The depth of feeling was staggering.
I spent about a month with them and bonded with dgd and dd all over again.
She's 3 now and we are the greatest of pals. We only see each other about 3-4 times a year but it's as if no time at all has passed. We play together, talk together, are silly together and love chocolate together. Last time I saw her she said geama, you are my best friend. My dd is the best mom and I thank her with all my heart for bringing Sophia into my life.:

[MaryLang]

I just wanted to say that its awesome that this thread is here! I'm not a grandmother either...for a long time yet. But I sometimes tell my DH that I want to wear my own grandchildren one day! You grandmama's are an inspiration and so cool that you've read Mothering all these years!

[melshanezach]

Hi
I get to join this one: I am 38, I have 8 kids from 22-1. My 22 yo ds has blessed me with a beautiful dgs about 19 months ago. I live in Alabama and my ds and dil live in Texas so I don't get to see my grandson often. I was 7mo pregnant with my 8th baby when I was holding my grandson for the first time I have ap before I even knew what that meant.

[smanore]

names

For those of you whose grandchildren talk...what does your grandchild(ren) call you? My 2 1/2 yr old grandson has for the last year called me Amma. First it was Ma, then in an attempt to say grandma, he landed on Amma. I just love it, so I always call myself that. He's always called my husband Pa. So cute

[sewchris2642]

Originally Posted by smanore

For those of you whose grandchildren talk...what does your grandchild(ren) call you? My 2 1/2 yr old grandson has for the last year called me Amma. First it was Ma, then in an attempt to say grandma, he landed on Amma. I just love it, so I always call myself that. He's always called my husband Pa. So cute

We live in a multi-generational house with our daughter and her family. Alex and Lindsay have 6 grandparents and 4 living great grandparents. They call me and dh by our first names. Probably because that's what their hear their dad call us. The rest of the grandparents are Papa J, I (first name only, her choice), Grandma R, and G (he only married Grandma R last year so the kids are used to called him just G). The greatgrandparents are Grandpa V, Grandma J, Grandma L, and Grandma J.

They also have a cousin named Dylan and an uncle named Dylan (our son). We started calling them big Dylan and little Dylan but that has evolved into calling big Dylan Uncle as his name and just not his title. It's very cute and all us adults has started calling Dylan that when talking with Alex and Lindsay. If Parker and Erica's Matilda start calling Dylan, Uncle as well then it will probably stick.

[Teenytoona]

I'm a step-gramma. I gave birth for the first time and became a gram all in one year - 2008, I was 32 (DH got a young start). DSD was 17 at the time. Haven't met him in person yet, as they're in ID and we're in Ohio. but I'm here.


There used to be a young grandmothers' thread, but there were only two of us.

[illinoisgranny]

I'm a grandma raising a grandson in a relative foster placement. I'm glad to see a grandmother's tribe! My grandson calls me mama. I've had him most of his life so it makes sense. He knows I'm grandma, but usually says mama. It doesn't make my DD happy. She is going down the path to losing her parental rights, but we're in a sort of limbo right now. I don't know where our case is going. We had a TPR trial this past June but the judge wouldn't go for it, so nothing will happen before January 2011.

I have coslept and used a baby sling way back in the day before there were the terms we use now. I graduated high school in '74 and was at the tail end of the hippy days. My husband was in the military so I had to act more straitlaced, but I loved carrying my babies around with me. I breastfed my son until 14 months when his teeth hurt too much to keep going. My daughter wouldn't breastfeed at all. I don't know why.....she was a formula baby.

My grandson came home from the hospital to my home and I've taken care of him or had him in my care all his life. He was exposed to crack cocaine in utero and needed to be held all the time, so he was in a baby sling, too!

Glad to meet everyone!

[juneweaver]

Glad to meet you, too.

Just back from three weeks with 41/2 yo Grandson. We connected well and had a great time. Am feeling the serious need/desire to move there asap. New grandchils in late Spring.

Are these "mother" or "grandmother" urges? How close have you drawn to your children when they were pregnant and after giving birth?

[rabbitmum]

This thread warms my heart! I'm a grandmother to a lovely 5 1/2 year old girl. She and my 26 year old daughter live just up the street. I also have two wonderful boys, 22 and 4 1/2 years old. They are all my biological children. I was a grandmother before I was 40!

My granddaughter stays with us quite a lot, since my daughter works some evenings and weekends. She and her uncle are the best of friends!

[sewchris2642]

Originally Posted by juneweaver

Glad to meet you, too.

How close have you drawn to your children when they were pregnant and after giving birth?

My relationship with Joy and Erica haven't changed but their relationship with each other has. Before Erica got pregnant, she and Joy didn't have anything in common other than that they were siblings. They have bonded over their children. And it's been fun to watch.