It this developmental or something more? So moody.

[mommahhh]

My child is 6 and all I can say is WOW. : Moody!! She always has been moody, but it is really hard to deal with lately. Basically I just want some input. We keep having the same scenario play out, so I'm wondering what could be causing this.

I try to keep bedtime consistent, but she's pretty much asleep by 9:00 p.m. (even though I get her in bed earlier than that) and up around 6:30 a.m. So she gets 9.5 hrs sleep on a regular basis. After her bath, we read. Generally, every few days this happens: she becomes agitated over something weird (ex: I didn't give her enough water). It escalates and she begins WHINING and ranting and arguing. She's beyond reason when this happens. She'll cry about anything at this point and nothing (NOTHING) I do brings her back down. It feels very "manufactured"...like she's making up nonsensical things in order to throw a fit. But why?? It is very stressful and unpleasant (generally lots of very loud sobbing, sometimes for a long time). What do I do?? To me, she's beyond controlling herself. If I tell her I'm leaving until she stops crying/ranting, it escalates into a full-on tantrum (which frankly, is the last thing I want to deal with at 9:00 p.m.). It doesn't calm her down either.

In the morning, I've tried to talk to her and ask why she thinks she acts that way. I get nowhere. Is 9.5 hours/night enough for a 6 year old? If not, how on earth do you get them to sleep more than that?? Or is it beyond sleep (the idea of a mood disorder really freaks me out).

[eepster]

I would suspect swings in bloodsugar levels. Try feeding her when she gets moody.

[mommahhh]

I don't see how it could be bloodsugar. These evening incidents are after a good dinner and possibly a snack too (ex: popcorn, banana). She never goes to bed with an empty stomach. Thanks though. I get hypoglycemia and I know it can really wreck havoc on moods, but I don't think that's what is happening here.

[pinecone]

Personally I don't think 9.5 hours of sleep is enough. My DD (just about to turn 7) gets 11 and I, myself as an adult, prefer 9 hours of sleep to be optimal. How does she wake up? Does she wake on her own? Does she wake easily? My DD generally will get up on her own within a 20 minute window of what is her "normal" wake up time. It is pretty consistent regardless of weekend or weekday. But then, we're pretty consistent about bed time on weekends too although we make allowances for special occasions.

I might check into that further.

Good luck. These type of struggles are never easy.

[mommahhh]

Originally Posted by pinecone

Personally I don't think 9.5 hours of sleep is enough.

I don't think so either, but I'm having a hard time extending it. It is light out longer now and it doesn't "feel" like bedtime (to her). We try to start winding down around 7:30 p.m. I have her in the bath around 8:00. She's in bed and I read to her until around 8:20. But then she talks (talks,talks,talks) and tosses/turns until almost 9:00 p.m. If it is a "temper tantrum night" she can stay awake until nearly 10:00. And no matter what, she wakes on her own around 6:30 a.m.

[HappilyEvrAfter]

We're going through the same thing. Ugh.

I get upset too because it feels like he's intentionally pushing my buttons.
I even asked him, "Are you trying to make me mad on purpose?" and, of course, his answer was "Yes." I honestly don't really think that's what he meant, but it sure feels like he's making himself mad on purpose.

I tried the bed to earlier thing, but "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." I mean, I can't force the kid to close his eyes.
I've tried changing the routine.
I've tried the playful parenting approach that's worked with everything else.
I've tried the "tell me a story" thing.
I've tried the "let's talk about our day" thing cause I thought it was an unresolved emotions thing.
I've tried going to bed later cause I thought it was just too much sleep for him (that only resulted in a horrible morning).
All I can do is reinforce that it's time to lay down.

I know he's not hungry (I make SURE that he's got a full tummy - no way more food could fit into it. Lol) and he's got a small glass of water on the table next to him. Beyond that, nothing else is a NEED.

Last night, I had enough and just disengaged. I literally told him, "You don't have to go to sleep, but you must lay down and be quiet. You may not be tired, but I am and I would like to sleep." Rolled over and started to fall asleep. There was still the occasional peep, but he finally fell asleep since there wasn't any interaction to keep him awake.

Man, before that I had to walk.out.of.the.room. It feels like someone is purposely slamming salt into an open wound.

My sanity requires that I get a minimum of 7 hours of sleep or I through tantrums worse than he does. Lol.

He's just hitting 5 so I hope this isn't gonna last all the way through 5, 6 and 7.

I feel your pain, momma....and I hope it ends soon because night time is becoming a B-E-A-R!!

[mommajb]

We go through this also with my middle daughter, same age. Helen generally sleeps until 7:30 and does seem tired which is what we blame. She should be in bed by 8 (not 9) but shares a room with her younger sister aka Charlotte-Kong.

I do know that my dd is a sensitive being and has trouble moderating her own hysteria. Does your dd have trouble other times of day? It really could be fatigue - mental and physical after a long day. We homeschool and if time is built in we can still get a nap out of her on occassion as she has always been a willing sleeper (but not the aforementioned Charlotte-Kong).

[pinecone]

Wondering if you could cut out the bath? I know with my DD that we don't do it every night anymore. In fact, I prefer that she does it during the daytime, or before dinner (when possible). I think this could serve 2 purposes, 1) to give her more play time and still push bed-time earlier. 2) Maybe the bath is working against you. I mean sometimes a bath can freshen you up and give you energy instead of making you relaxed and ready to sleep. Just a thought.

Be sure you have opaque shades that let as little light through as possible so sleeping when it is light out isn't an issue.

Lastly, and am introducing a totally new possibility now, but could it be food related? I know some mamas here follow the Feingold diet and have commented that certain food dyes and other additives can cause emotional swings and have an effective of keeping children from restful sleep. Just something else to consider.

I know this is tough. Hang in there.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by mommahhh

I don't think so either, but I'm having a hard time extending it. It is light out longer now and it doesn't "feel" like bedtime (to her). We try to start winding down around 7:30 p.m. I have her in the bath around 8:00. She's in bed and I read to her until around 8:20. But then she talks (talks,talks,talks) and tosses/turns until almost 9:00 p.m. If it is a "temper tantrum night" she can stay awake until nearly 10:00. And no matter what, she wakes on her own around 6:30 a.m.

Maybe, she is getting too much sleep.

Every person is different. While on average an adult functions best on around 8 hrs of sleep, some do better with more like 10 while others are most refreshed with six.

[mommahhh]

well whatever it is, it is driving me bonkers. She's starting in again. Good day (although kind of moody...but what else is new). We did some fun things late this aft. We had a yummy dinner that she wanted. But it is 8:00 p.m. and we're getting ready for bed and it is going to be another one of those nights. She's already argumentative about every little thing (washing her hair, brushing her teeth, getting on pajamas). She gets mouthy and nasty. Whaaaaa, I feel like I'm going to have my own tempter tantrum soon!!! Actually tonight I might resort to a little melatonin because I want her to go to sleep without all the drama.

[Pirate Nicole]

I also have a moody 6 year old. Does your dd read on her own? It usually zonks my dd out. I tend to put my Audrey to bed between 630 and 7pm, and gets up about 6-630am. Doesn't seem to matter if I put her to bed later, she's still up that early. More time to get ready for school then I guess. (I know, it's crazy early, but I am alone all the time with the three kids 6,3, and almost 1, so it is what it is lol) I let her lie in her bed and read until 8pm at the latest. Most of the time when I go up to turn her light off she is already asleep. I know that a shower usually wakes me up as well. Maybe try moving that to the mornings before school?
When my dd starts with the tantrum thing, I just make her sit in her bed and tell her that when she is ready to speak to me and act like the big girl that she is I will be more than willing to talk about what is bothering her and we can work whatever it is out. Usually she's ok within 5-10 minutes. I do think that school really wears them out the first couple of years. So much more going on in their days that they're used to, kwim?

Nicole