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Sex in the Family Bed

post #1 of 69
4/28/09 at 12:35pm
Thread Starter 
This has been on my mind and just thought I would put it out there for anyone with experience.

How do you have sex while co-sleeping with your baby. We are preg, but thinking ahead!

Do you put your baby in a separate bassinet/bed? What do you think are healthy boundaries around sex and babies/toddlers/children?

Thanks!!!:

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post #2 of 69
4/28/09 at 12:39pm
I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!

You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!
post #3 of 69
4/28/09 at 12:45pm
Good question. Early on baby really has no clue, esp when asleep. We went on trips and while our son was asleep enjoyed our intimacy. At home, there are way more fun places to get intimate - any room really! You don't need a bed or if you do, make one or use a guest room (if you have one). Our son is now 2.5 almost and he does go to bed before us, so we have time to enjoy - or when he naps in the aft. I'm now nearly 7 months pg with our second and thinking of how we'll manage with two. But I think any parent wonders, regardless of cosleeping.
post #4 of 69
4/28/09 at 12:46pm
Saturday and Sunday mornings while he's napping in his crib.

He's also started having good 1-2 hour long "sleeps" in his crib in the evening, so we may start to reintroduce weekday evening nooky as well

He then sleeps next to me from 9PM to 6AM, and I'm too exhausted by then for extra-curricular activities anyway.
post #5 of 69
4/28/09 at 12:48pm
with all our kids, DH and i only do it at night or early morning while everyone is sleeping. DD is the only sleeping with us right now. she has a crib side carrred. we just scoot her over and make sure she is asleep. of course, she sleeps all night so that helps. when she was littler, we would do it before she woke to nurse. we had 2 hours, and we dont need a whole 2 hours, lol, we have it down.
post #6 of 69
4/28/09 at 4:10pm
This is where the swing comes in handy for us!
post #7 of 69
4/28/09 at 4:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylizah View Post
I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!

You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!
Yup, I honestly can't remember the last time I had sex in a bed.
post #8 of 69
4/28/09 at 4:24pm
Good question
post #9 of 69
4/28/09 at 9:45pm
This might change as our son gets older-but when he was really small, we just did it in the bed, because he'd wake up if we were too far away. A few desperate times, we've done it while he was nursing while asleep.
Mostly we go in another room though!
post #10 of 69
4/28/09 at 11:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
This is where the swing comes in handy for us!
ditto... wasn't until I was a momma that I realized a swing would be the most essential addition to my sex life
post #11 of 69
4/29/09 at 12:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by felix23 View Post
This is where the swing comes in handy for us!
You know, I just came in at the end of this thread and thought you meant you were going outside and using the swingset....or DID YOU?!
post #12 of 69
4/29/09 at 1:27am
We have a king-sized bed, so we have plenty of room for us and a sleeping baby. I, too, have occasionally nursed a baby back to sleep in the midst of such activities.

For older, verbal kids, we just tell them, if they're awake, that we're going to do some work upstairs and give them something fun and distracting to do. Somehow they never come and bug us then -- probably they're afraid we'll make them do housework! We lock the door anyway, just to be sure.
post #13 of 69
4/29/09 at 1:42am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mymble View Post
You know, I just came in at the end of this thread and thought you meant you were going outside and using the swingset....or DID YOU?!
post #14 of 69
4/29/09 at 1:47am
my (almost) 3 year old sleeps like a rock and my 8 week old obviously doesn't know what's going on. we have 2 queens pushed together so they go on one bed and we go on the other (not all night of course)
post #15 of 69
4/29/09 at 1:56am
Quote:
Originally Posted by missjessicajames View Post
ditto... wasn't until I was a momma that I realized a swing would be the most essential addition to my sex life
hey, me too who knew we'd have one more thing in common??

but seriously, dp and i hardly ever have sex at night. it is almost always in the daytime, when dd is napping. she passes out all over the house, so we just tiptoe into another room. it's kind of fun- i get all giggly and am like, shhh! don't wake dd!
post #16 of 69
4/29/09 at 3:20am
It seems like this would be a situation where premature ejaculation is not such a bad thing.
post #17 of 69
4/29/09 at 5:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylizah View Post
I think sex doesn't have to happen on a bed!

You learn to get creative when you co-sleep!
Quote:
Originally Posted by michillimackinac View Post
It seems like this would be a situation where premature ejaculation is not such a bad thing.
When DD was a baby, we'd do it with her in the bed, often with my hand on her back so she wouldn't wake up.

Now, the couch gets a lot of action And, now that she's almost 3, we might put a movie on for her downstairs and go up to the bedroom. When that happens, we actually get cuddle-time afterwards, which hasn't happened in a couple of years, and I didn't realize how much I missed it.

We've also been known to find a quiet place to park on the rare occasion when we have family in from out of town babysitting. Of course, we did that before she was born (and may be the reason WHY she was born we just did it more often
post #18 of 69
4/29/09 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caroline P View Post
Good question. Early on baby really has no clue, esp when asleep.
And the rocking motion can actually help the baby sleep better, like a bouncy chair.
post #19 of 69
4/29/09 at 12:14pm
I never felt comfortable to do it with babies in the same room, much less the same bed. I freely admit that's my hangup. It even freaked me out if I realized that the cat was watching!

So for more inhibited types like me, I'd suggest just waiting for the child(ren) to fall asleep and going to another room.
post #20 of 69
4/29/09 at 12:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mymble View Post
You know, I just came in at the end of this thread and thought you meant you were going outside and using the swingset....or DID YOU?!
No! I meant the baby swing!

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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Parenting › Bed and Nighttime Parenting › Sex in the Family Bed