PPD with #2 and not #3 - feeling guilty

[peilover010202]

So, I had mild depression while I was pg with ds2 and after suffering from ppd for about 1 yr, I decided to go on meds. I stayed on meds until ds2 was about 2yo.

Well, fast forward to pg #3. I felt GREAT through the whole pregnancy and I'm now 2 week postpartum. Absolutely no symptoms of PPD this time around and I actually feel guilty.

I guess part of me is re-living the 1st year of ds2's life and remembering how I felt. Completely emotionally unavailable and I feel guilty that I don't feel that way now with ds3. Is that normal?

Obviously, I've healed and ds2 and I have bonded in a way that I thought may never possible,so I'm not sure why I feel the way I do. I guess I keep reminiscing and maybe I should just let it go. But, has anyone else ever felt this way?

[Limabean1975]

I'm pregnant with #2, so I don't know yet how it will go this time, but I did have PPD with #1. I harbour some guilt about the level of anxiety I was operating on in his early days. Just SO tense, so unable to relax...I don't want to say I didn't enjoy his newborn days, in many ways I did...but all that TENSION and fear and...ugh! I often wonder how that is reflected in him now.