Help me get started saving babies! (a little long)

[mormontreehugger]

So I've tried to talk to some people about how circumcision is a personal decision --- for the BABY --- but they don't seem to get it. I've also tried to give medical-related warnings to family members about it. Hitting brick walls. For example:

My coworker: He got circ'ed at age 22 because he wanted to. He was born in the 70s and I guess felt like a freak of nature and got it done because it's free to do that in the military. Ok fine, personal choice on his part. He knew what he would be missing. His wife is pregnant with their second boy and they're planning to circ him. We had a calm conversation where I presented some facts just so he'd know (how it's unnecessary, rates are about even so there's no 'locker room teasing' that really needs to be worried about etc etc) and he pleasantly wrapped up the conversation with how basically it's a personal decision and that parents would decide what was best for their child. I wanted to yell YES IT'S A PERSONAL DECISION! NOT YOURS!!!! I don't think I can get through to him because he got it done himself and wished he'd gotten it done when he was a baby so he wouldn't remember the pain. I ended up just saying please make sure they use anesthetic at least. I wanted to cry with frustration.

My sister: She circ'ed her first baby boy after asking a couple people what they thought about it. My other sister didn't circ because her DH is Latino and would never even think about doing that to his child (, but my first sister decided to do it anyway because her SIL has so many problems with infections with her autistic son (6 yrs) and is talking about having to get it done for him now. Now for this sister, I might be able to get through to her because she won't take it as a personal attack, but I need some kind of plan of action. I'd like to pass on information to help her SIL with the autistic son to avoid infections and things and perhaps convince my sister at the same time.

My SIL: I posted a news item on a family website that basically said why I was planning to give birth at home with a link to an article by a midwife talking about why it's ok for low-risk mothers etc etc. At the end, I put a PS: Don't circumcise! It's just as bad for boys as for girls! And I added a couple lines about how I wasn't attacking anyone's choices and that I myself did not even have this information until I accidentally came across it (which is true. I was totally planning to circumcise before MDC). She took it as a personal attack on pretty much EVERYTHING she does as a mom. Including giving birth in the hospital. She's neurotic (literally) and I really don't think I could ever get her to listen to ANYTHING that disagrees with stuff she's already done or planned to do. All I can do is pray that she won't have any more boys...

So now I want to do SOMETHING. Write to congress, pass around pamphlets, talk to people in a way that they'll listen with an open mind, ANYTHING. I want to save babies! I have no idea where to start, but I have to do something because I can't even think about my SIL's response without getting really really really upset. I've cut off contact with that family for now because I can't handle it on top of pg hormones... I've even put off coming here because I couldn't read this stuff while I was feeling like that without breaking down completely.

Please help!

[eepster]

Originally Posted by mormontreehugger

but my first sister decided to do it anyway because her SIL has so many problems with infections with her autistic son (6 yrs) and is talking about having to get it done for him now. Now for this sister, I might be able to get through to her because she won't take it as a personal attack, but I need some kind of plan of action. I'd like to pass on information to help her SIL with the autistic son to avoid infections and things and perhaps convince my sister at the same time.

This should help with that
http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...uncircson.html

And a for the rest of it.

[mormontreehugger]

Thanks for the article, I sent it to her. I'm crossing my fingers that both her and her DH will be cool enough to read it and believe it.

[Greg B]

It sounds like your co-worker was just very polite, but does not want your advice really. Keep in mind that 1) he may not be old enough to really feel the effects very much at this point, 2) the mind is our biggest sex organ, so if he thinks it is better it may well be, 3) he may be in denial and cannot admit it was a mistake and needs to feel it is the right thing to do.

But, to give you some information that might help, here are two papers that go into the moral and legal arguements why it should be the childs choice. The second (and considerably longer) one is written by doctors and thus will carry weight with some people on that basis alone:

http://icgi.org/Downloads/FD2.pdf

http://www.doctorsopposingcircumcisi...yStatement.pdf

Finally, remember, you can lead a horse to water....

Best wishes.

[Ophelia]

I'm sorry, I know how tough it is People just put blinders on and hands over their ears.

Originally Posted by mormontreehugger

got it done because it's free to do that in the military. Ok fine, personal choice on his part.

Nice. So our taxes are paying for cosmetic surgery for those in the military. Not fine with me! It's bad enough we all have to pay for RIC through HMO's and state health cares that cover it.

[erin23kate]

I share your frustration. I mentioned to my brother and sis-in-law that I would never circumcise a baby boy. They were horrified, and made all sorts of "ew gross" comments until I told them my husband _isn't_ gross.

I brought up female circumcision, and they both agreed it was child abuse.... but somehow the same arguments don't hold water with a baby boy.

It just blows my mind how people can be so blind.

[AnnaNova]

Originally Posted by erin23kate

I share your frustration. I mentioned to my brother and sis-in-law that I would never circumcise a baby boy. They were horrified, and made all sorts of "ew gross" comments until I told them my husband _isn't_ gross.

I brought up female circumcision, and they both agreed it was child abuse.... but somehow the same arguments don't hold water with a baby boy.

It just blows my mind how people can be so blind.

i wasnt born in the us, and so i just.dont.get.it why people think that foreskin is gross...honestly... to me its like saying that hair is gross and shaving off one's head or sth... it is so sad... especially when people won't listen to hard evidence.
one argument i found convincing enough for people to get off my back is saying 'american academy of pediatrics no longer recommends circ-ing baby without a medical (or religious) reason' (which is true)- i found that this helps to make people think twice about what they say.
i try not to judge anyone, but as much as i am relaxed in my parenting choices, i just dont understand how can someone not even make an effort to find out more about what's done to their babies and how it may possibly affect their lives justifying their choices with arguments like 'so he looks like daddy'... my husband is bold, so should i constantly shave my baby's head 'so he looks like daddy'?
arg... i guess im not much help to the original qs asked in this thread - sorry.

[LittleBeauty'sMom]

Alot of these momma's have given some great advice, I felt the same way about wanting to educate parents on circumcision to save future little boys. So, I taught about what to do and contacted our one and only women's OB/GYN clinic and ask if I could put together and information sheet on circumcision. They happily agreed, I worked on a fact filled sheet for about a week and just delivered them last Thursday. Each mom will get one during the 1st visit of each new pregnancy. Our circ rate is crazy high here at 98%, I'm hoping to have an impact in this way. I've already decided to ask to local Health Department to give out the same information sheet Good for you momma for atleast trying!

[mormontreehugger]

Originally Posted by LittleBeauty'sMom

Alot of these momma's have given some great advice, I felt the same way about wanting to educate parents on circumcision to save future little boys. So, I taught about what to do and contacted our one and only women's OB/GYN clinic and ask if I could put together and information sheet on circumcision. They happily agreed, I worked on a fact filled sheet for about a week and just delivered them last Thursday. Each mom will get one during the 1st visit of each new pregnancy. Our circ rate is crazy high here at 98%, I'm hoping to have an impact in this way. I've already decided to ask to local Health Department to give out the same information sheet Good for you momma for atleast trying!

That's a good idea. Maybe if I can work with the local OB offices somehow I'll make a difference. It's such a touchy issue when you bring it up with people you know--especially if they've already done it. I tried to talk about it a little with my best friend (their son is circ'ed for pretty much the sole reason that he has to look like Daddy and any future sons will have the same thing so they all 'match'... I'll let it rest for now and try again the next time she's pg with a boy...sigh...) and she at least heard me out without getting insulted or offended bla bla bla..

[AnnaNova]

maybe you could also get in touch with organizations that offer birth preparation classes and ask them to come and speak about circ. in their classes... even those parents that have girls might still have boys in the future, i would ask for about 10-15 min and voice the most important stuff. and be prepared with facts to answer questions too, so they knew you mean business and its not just your opinion, its facts supported by evidence.
good luck