My doctor is driving me crazy.

[Auraji]

When we first met, I let her know that I was planning on having a natural birth. She said to me "I recommend you take a class about anesthesia, because labor is really painful". I told her that "I knew it was painful and that I've read plenty about the different options I've had for anesthesia".
I also let her know that my plan is to have a natural birth, but if for any reason I feel like I cant handle the pain I would be the first to let everyone know that I needed something for the pain.
The week after we discussed my birth plan, she told me again that I should take a class about anesthesia in the hospital. I find it kinda disrespectful from her to keep pushing the idea of anesthesia when she knows it's not what I want and I've told her that Im already informed. That's why we have books and the internet!!
She also said because I wrote in my birth plan to please not offer pain medication, that if I needed it I would ask for it. She said "oh the nurses HAVE to offer it, specially if they see you're uncomfortable. It's the law". I mean, of course Im gonna be uncomfortable, it's not like giving birth is a day at the spa.

[the_lissa]

I would look into switching. It is going to be exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to have a natural birth with a caregiver with this attitude.

[BeanSprout Mama]

I am not in your ddc but you can probably ask your nurses to just make a note in your chart that you have requested not to have pain relief offered. Most of the time that's enough to get past hospital pain relief policies.

I would switch caregivers too.

[MaeHaftahurcha]

My OB did stuff like that. It was why we switched. You might want to consider doing the same. You'd be amazed how much of the staff in L&D is willing to do everything up to threaten flat out lie to you to get you to do things their way, no matter what your wishes are. It certainly doesn't help to have a doctor that doesn't support those wishes.

And be warned that, should you for any reason end up with an IV in, there may be nurses or even doctors that won't hesitate to shoot additional meds into it without even mentioning it to you, much less getting your consent.

[ScootchsMom]

I would either try to find a more naturally minded CP or at the very least hire a doula to run interference. This OB is telling you straight out that your wishes for the labor and birth will not be respected. Her insistence on you taking a class on anesthesia is also troubling. Why, so they can brain wash you on how "safe" it all is? And so that in the heat of the moment they won't have to get true informed consent from you by going over the risks? Believe me, this is how you end up with failure to progress and an "emergency c-section" like I did with my first.

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by the_lissa

I would look into switching. It is going to be exceedingly difficult, if not impossible, to have a natural birth with a caregiver with this attitude.

But it's so late to switch, tomorrow I'll be 38 weeks. Also Im on MA and I go to a Healthy beginnings Plus, from my options the one I have is my favorite hospital to give birth at.
I go to a practice where I see many doctors, she's the one that I've seen the most though. Whoever is on call is the one delivering my baby. They're kinda laid back and agree with me on other things (like no episiotomy, very pro vaginal birth) I just dont like her pushing the idea of pain medication.

[the_lissa]

It's really not too late to switch.

[ReadingRenee]

Hmm that is so tricky. That would annoy me a lot.

I had a practice last time where the dr on call delivered my baby and it turned out not to be my main much more medically minded dr but actually one of the most natural birth minded dr's that they had. I got lucky and had no idea until later that he had that reputation. As far as I know though my birth plan was followed to the letter. I always got the idea that it had more to do with the labor and delivery nurses than the dr. I think I saw him for like 20 minutes total!

I did have a doula though, I really like the idea of hiring a doula if you have such an anesthesia pro dr. My doula was invaluable to me last time and I have one this time as well.

[Asher]

It's the law? Not that I'm aware of!

I've put that in all of my birth plans and have never been offered meds. I HAVE asked for them a few times, always in transition (which is common to feel like you can no longer do it!) and thankfully they were on board and knew how I felt so they "put me off" and I got through it. I also have in my birth plan that if I do ask for it, to prolong it for a little bit and/or if I am in transition, to put me off completely.

[j_p_i]

It's the law to offer pain medications? That's a new one. I'm birthing at a hospital and they are very open to natural birth. I said that I don't want to be offered pain medication, and that was that. They have been very supportive so far. My midwives also noted in my chart that I should not be offered pain medications unless I specifically ask for it.

Not for the same reasons, but I switched practices at 32 weeks with no issues. Is a doula a possibility for you? Or someone you trust that could run interference for you? I agree, there is no reason that she should push you to take a class on pain medications... I'd be annoyed too!

[frontierpsych]

I would ask to see that "law", sounds kinda fishy to me!

[the_lissa]

My concern is that, besides being unsupportive of natural birth, this doctor seems quite willing to lie and say things are the law when they aren't, and that could cause serious problems.

[scrappingmom]

i agree.. not to late to switch, not teh easiest thing to do just now, but not to late really. If you do i'd ask the nurses at tthe L&D who is extra naturally minded, and call immediately explaining the situation.

You could also ask nurses if the Dr is infact so pushy when it comes to delivery?! the dr i had last time i DID NOT want to be the one on call when i went.. sure enough she was.... and was wonderful! I'm really hoping she will be this time too. i have an apointment with her tomorrow and am planning to ask if there is a way of requesting the other Dr NOT attend my delivery. he is a nice person but has NO bedside manners and barely acknowldges you're in the room or if you have a question.. quick to the prescription pad though! I'm afraid his being there would cause labor to stall. or that if it doesn't happen in 2 minutes he'd order c-section ...who knows though.

Also, politely(?) request a copy of "the law" that states drugs must be pushed.....

[major_mama11]

Yeah, about that "law"...

I work as an RN (not L&D), and while it's true that we *are* required to document in our charting that we are "assessing pain level" every so often, we are also supposed to tailor the care to the individual's needs. I don't take that to mean I'm supposed to offer unwanted meds to someone who has specifically requested that they not be offered. Also, our charting (at least in the area where I work) allows plenty of options for non-medication pain management (heat, movement, distraction, emotional support, etc).

I would think that charting that the mom "is aware of pain management options" would satisfy these legalities just fine, without needing to offer meds to someone I know doesn't want them.

I agree with the suggestion of a doula if unable to switch providers- good for you, with added benefit of preventing hospital staff from feeling like they have to constantly *do something*.

[Auraji]

Thanks for all the advice.

I wont switch doctors, but on Thursday Im going over my birth plan again. Should I send a copy of it to L&D in advance or just take it with me when I go to the hospital?

[twins+1]

Thats too bad. Thankfully my OB (who is a D.O., not M.D.) is super supportive of natural birth and even signed my birth plan so the nurses know it is okay with her if she isn't there. Sorry you have someone who has to be difficult.
I'm a vbac though and she knows its better for me to avoid epidurals and such.

[Smithie]

My mother (who is a nurse) says that in normal uncomplicated hospital births the quality of the experience really comes down to the nurse, because you will barely lay eyes on the doctor. Some nurses will push meds on laboring women. Some will not. Their own opinions about birth and their own interpretations of "effective pain management" will obviously vary widely.

This will be my first hospital birth, and frankly I am not thrilled that I'll have no opportunity to select or build a relationship with the somebody who will be so key to the process, but what can you do?

If you want to write "leave me the hell alone" on your stomach, I have a Sharpie I can lend you.

[Auraji]

Originally Posted by Smithie

My mother (who is a nurse) says that in normal uncomplicated hospital births the quality of the experience really comes down to the nurse, because you will barely lay eyes on the doctor. Some nurses will push meds on laboring women. Some will not. Their own opinions about birth and their own interpretations of "effective pain management" will obviously vary widely.

This will be my first hospital birth, and frankly I am not thrilled that I'll have no opportunity to select or build a relationship with the somebody who will be so key to the process, but what can you do?

If you want to write "leave me the hell alone" on your stomach, I ha ve a Sharpie I can lend you.

Can it be a pink Sharpie so at least it looks pretty?

I've met two of the nurses there and they were both SUPER nice. I think a natural birth in the hospital is very doable, my mom had three of them and they were never a problem. She was also not informed at all, she just did it that way because it's what she felt right. When the drugs were offered she refused them and that was that.
I had written a very simple nice short birth plan. Now I wrote a VERY detailed one that Im having every doctor in the practice sign. It's my birth, my body, my baby, if I cant handle the pain, that's for me to say. I'd rather have doctors and nurses hate me, that me feeling disappointed for not doing what's best for my daughter.
I plan to stay at home for the longest time possible. I'll just go to the hospital to push that baby out