No Closure - Page 2

[AppleCrisp]

Bad Day

What is it with the random crying?? One day I do fine, the next day I'm sobbing over everything. The neonatologist really pissed me off today...they just talk about your kid being disabled like you're not in the room. Oh yeah, since she has such severe IUGR she'll most likely have global developmental delays...oh whats that, you have a question about that? Well, considering that she would have been dead if you came in any later, I guess that lab work is pretty good! Haha! I think they know I was planning a homebirth and think I'm some crazy negligent parent.

One day seems so encouraging, I think maybe I dodged the biggest bullet of my life and she'll be fine, and the next day it seems like she's going to be totally disabled or delayed. I just want to get out of there and get on with my life however she turns out.

[surprisedmama]

hugs mama. I hope today was a little better.

[musiclady]

Originally Posted by AppleCrisp

What is it with the random crying?? One day I do fine, the next day I'm sobbing over everything. The neonatologist really pissed me off today...they just talk about your kid being disabled like you're not in the room. Oh yeah, since she has such severe IUGR she'll most likely have global developmental delays...oh whats that, you have a question about that? Well, considering that she would have been dead if you came in any later, I guess that lab work is pretty good! Haha! I think they know I was planning a homebirth and think I'm some crazy negligent parent.

One day seems so encouraging, I think maybe I dodged the biggest bullet of my life and she'll be fine, and the next day it seems like she's going to be totally disabled or delayed. I just want to get out of there and get on with my life however she turns out.

Hey- !!!!

I think it's more like our babies aren't going to be hitting the normal checkpoints at their birth age- the way mine explained it to me was much more gentle- like: she's 2 months early- so she'll most likely be 8mo old when she hits the 6mo checks. Like you still have to gauge it from the due date- not her birth date.

And the neonatalogist (whom I really like) said that as long as you enrich the environment they do well. Not meaning with monetary things- but do the little things like talk and coo, play, kiss, nourish, etc.

So, I hope your day DOES go better.

I do totally know what you mean though- it's like you really never know what you'll find, and it's an emotional roller coaster.

At times I feel emotionally bankrupt. So we just try to take it one day at a time, one step at a time. You know? There's just no other way my heart can take it.

[D&J09]

I feel the same way. I had such a normal pregnancy until 28 weeks and I started dialating and was placed on bedrest. Even though I was now high risk for premature labor I still figured I would make it. Then at 31 weeks I had PROM. From the time that happened to being talked into a c-section and the babies being taken out of me was less than 3 hours. I should still be pregnant they weren't due until June 6th. I miss being pregnant, I wanted a vaginal delivery, I wanted to be handed my twins. It's been a month and I hope these feelings go away soon. It doesn't help being at the hospital with them everyday and seeing other people leave with their full term babies. I feel blessed that my boys are healthy and we are close to going home, but I feel like I missed so much.

Maggid

[musiclady]

Originally Posted by D&J09

I feel the same way. I had such a normal pregnancy until 28 weeks and I started dialating and was placed on bedrest. Even though I was now high risk for premature labor I still figured I would make it. Then at 31 weeks I had PROM. From the time that happened to being talked into a c-section and the babies being taken out of me was less than 3 hours. I should still be pregnant they weren't due until June 6th. I miss being pregnant, I wanted a vaginal delivery, I wanted to be handed my twins. It's been a month and I hope these feelings go away soon. It doesn't help being at the hospital with them everyday and seeing other people leave with their full term babies. I feel blessed that my boys are healthy and we are close to going home, but I feel like I missed so much.

Maggid

Lilah was due June 7- we're really close!! I had much the same ideas as you- although once she started failing the contraction stress test, I had zero interest in vaginal labor. I was more afraid they'd let me try to push for seven hours and put her through distress, so I was happy to have the C-section. Not exactly the "delivery" I was hoping for- I felt more like they TOOK my baby instead of me being able to bring her into the world. That was a hard one to get past. I still brought her in, I guess??? Sometimes I get angry too. But I did feel like they *took* my baby. That was hard.

And you know what? One day we're both going to be those people that take our babies home. So I try to be happy for the people who do get to take them home. And I just keep going to the next day and trying to not get antsy about when we finally get to come home. Right now she's in the best place she can be, and I just have to rest and be patient. She will eventually come home and then I think this will be more of a memory instead of the heartbreaking crisis it can be.

What is PROM?

[henriksmom]

PROM = premature rupture of membranes. It happens to ten percent of women. Their membranes rupture before they go into labour. If the baby is not born within 24 hours then they induce.

pPROM = PROM before 37 weeks. Preterm premature rupture of membranes. I read that it happens to one percent of pregnant women. If it happens to early they give the woman steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs (and possibly intestines and brain). If the gestation is very early they will monitor the woman. The need for the baby to grow and mature outweights the chance for infection. Once you get around 34 to 36 weeks the chance of infection outweighs the baby maturing more, the baby can now survive well.

Hope that helps.

[jlovesl]

My water broke at 27 weeks(pPROM). The steroids are given to mature their lungs. The day my water broke my ultrasound showed that my baby was not yet breathing on his own, same the following week. But finally at 29 weeks he was breathing on his own. With very strict bed rest I was able to keep him inside until 31 weeks. But WOW, when you have low fluid you have back labour from HELL. Normal am. fluid levels are 12. My 1st 3 weeks on bed rest I read at 3.7 the last week I was only reading 1.3 and that's why labour started. Lucky, I never got infection(water breaking UNKNOWN). Because I had no fluid he could not turn(transverse) so I had to have a c -section.And because he was transverse I had to have a T - incision as well. So after not getting to have a fun filled pregnancy I was also robbed of a vaginal birth and a NICU stay of 7 weeks. It was all so sad for me. I cried for a long time. Now 5 months long with our 2nd we are not allowed to have vaginal birth because of the T- incision so we are at least hoping for a term baby.