help with birthday party peer pressure

[oatmeal]

My dd is turning two in a couple of weeks and we're having a
little party... last year when I was doing a lot better financially I broke the bank on her first birthday - hired a singer/guitar player toys lady - built a fence in the front yard - yadda yadda

I just got home from playgroup where I handed out some invites and some of the moms were talking how they had fabulous face painting or a puppet show or a character who came dressed up as Dora and played with the kids...

I am worried my party for dd won't rise to their expectations and I'm feeling scared about the money! I'm a single mom and I hate the idea of my litte dd being the urchin with the bare bones birthday party...

As of now it's pretty simple - the only thing I have planned extra is a crafts table for the kids to make puppets...

[SamuraiEarthMama]

you, my dear, need to beg, borrow or steal a copy of The Complete Tightwad Gazette

this book is a compilation of three books by a certified tightwad who shares ingenious strategies for not only throwing cheap birthday parties, but the BEST birthday parties around. her attitude is wonderful, and you'll laugh as much as learn when you read her writing. (her first name is Amy, but i can't spell her last name... Dacyzyn?)

the best thing is that you'll come away from her stories not just with ideas on how to do things cheaper and better, but with the confidence to figure out what's best for your own situation. it's not so much a list of recipes as a way of living and problem solving.

it's not a birthday party book, but i remember birthdays and celebrations being covered in some great detail.

and i happen to think that a puppet-making table is a GREAT idea! i bet those kids will remember a puppet that they make and play with for years a lot more vividly than some paid entertainer. you're already on the right track!

k

[village idiot]

I also think the puppet making table sounds like fun. Maybe the kids could also make their own pizzas using english muffins and decorate their own cupcakes.

I wouldn't worry about your dd not having the perfect party. Alot of those big bashes seem to be as much for the parents as they are for the kids, especially at this age.

[daylily]

For what it's worth: I *love* old-fashioned, home-made, gimmick-free birthday parties. Very young children are sometimes afraid of party entertainers anyway. (Clown phobia, anyone?)

But these play group moms are the same ones who quibbled over the bill at the expensive restaurant? Methinks they are all about status parties.

The goal is for your dd and her friends to have fun, not to impress these women. How about cookie decorating? It would be messy, but they'd have a blast. Have your cookies baked and ready. Cover your table with freezer paper or wax paper. Have lots of containers of sprinkles available and start frosting and handing out cookies. The children can take home all the cookies they decorate. I did this for my dd's party (she was turning 6) and it was a big hit.

[tnrsmom]

Moving this to Parenting Issues.

[~*max*~]

Originally posted by katelyan
Alot of those big bashes seem to be as much for the parents as they are for the kids, especially at this age.

I totally agree. It sounds like you are planning a fun, *age-appropriate* party for your 2 year old. Great suggestions by previous posters. Maybe throw in a game or two (pinata, hokey pokey, dancing to music) and you will be all set.

I do know what you are saying about the adult peer presure to throw elaborate shindigs for our little ones. Last year I succombed, threw a huge party for dd - it was totally stressful for me & my kids, too much work, $, & grief. The following year we had a quiet party w/family & only a couple friends, a simple theme, craft & cake - everyone had a great time & the kids are still talking about it. Live & learn.

Good luck & have fun!

[Larklinnet]

Oatmeal - I would bet that your party will be the one that the kids (and the parents) remember long after they've forgotten the fancy ones. Kids haven't changed that much from earlier times, though I'm afraid parents have, and what they love best are the simple games and activities. Puppet-making sounds wonderful!

How about duck-duck-goose and musical chairs? Pin the tail on the donkey? Remember that 2 year olds have very limited attention spans and always want to be on the move. Sitting still for a puppet show or having to wait their turn to have their faces painted aren't really 2 year old activities, even if their moms think that's what makes a great party.

One thing I remember vividly from my childhood - my mom used to make birthday party hats out of tin foil. She'd twist the top of the hat so it almost looked like one of those beanie hats with a little propeller at the top. Nearly 40 years later I haven't forgotten those hats, and I bet no one else has either! You could help the kids make them, maybe decorate with stickers.

Wish ds and I could come help you celebrate. Have fun!

[anothermama]

uhm, whos the party for, anyways???
If your DD has a wonderful time, thats all that really matters. Why even get caught up in "keeping up with the jones" when the jones kids don't even know the difference???

My dd's best parties have all been at a local park. Kids like nothing better than a good solid playground! There are usually party discount or wholesale stores where you can get good and cheap decorations.

A friend of my dd's threw a party recently where the mama baked sugar cookies and they had a decoarting table.....she premade tubs of frosting in different colors and let em go to town. That was fun. And at my dd's last party, we made a four station scavenget hunt type thing where they go to each station and get a little prize (again, found at the super cheap party discount store).

[saturnine25]

I think the craft table to make puppets sounds like an excellent idea!! My daughter turned two recently, and for both of her parties we made it a point to avoid all the bells and whistles that seem to be so essential to having the "right" kind of birthday party these days. Some of our acquaintances are VERY into having the over the top birthday parties, but for each of Tsuneo's "low key" parties we have noticed much more pleasant communication between the adults and kids in attendance. They have both turned out to be fun, successful, and (mostly!) stress-free!! Don't feel guilty, no matter what kind of birthday party you decide to have. It's your dd's special day, not your guests.'

[oatmeal]

Thanks for the feedback moms

We had cookie decorating at the holiday party they just had so I will stick with the puppets and craft table. A puppet co called me back yesterday and it's $250 for half an hour - which - I don't even have to say - is beyond impossible for me.

We are having it at a park - I guess I will leave it at that. It's hard keeping up with a couple of these moms from the group - I also invite a couple of my friends from my old neighborhood who are married to richie rich movie people now and I know they expect more - but what can I say. We don't live in a mansion with a husband who's only home two months out of the year...

Thanks again - I'll just stay zen about it and let the people who judge - judge away!

[ShannonCC]

Where the heck do you live??? :LOL

We have a cake and food. We go to party city and buy themed plates and some crepe paper. This past birthday we had a dinosaur theme so we made a construction paper tree and put it up on the wall and printed out pics of dinosaurs to put on the table along with some plastic dinosaurs. Then we invite our family over. That's it! My dd always has a blast. We've had one kid's party so far (when she turned 4 - it just didn't happen this year and she didn't even notice) and we only invited 4 children and two moms. People we see regularly and who she actually knows by name I didn't even do a cake, just cupcakes and some very simple goodie bags. This past summer we went to a friend's party which was a kiddie pool and sprinkler set up on a lawn and then cake and some food. Again, a blast

Do yourself and your child a favor and do not get sucked into the huge, bigger than you can afford, keep up with the Jone's thing! If that's what you want and you can afford it then fine. I'm sure those parties are a blast too! But since you can't afford it (we couldn't either - $250 for 1/2 an hour???) and you don't want to, then don't do it. As Mama used to say, if they are truely your friends, they will enjoy you for who you are. If you have to buy their friendship, then they aren't your friends.

[LoveBeads]

I have a simple philosophy about these things. Anyone who would look down on you for not having $500 worth of entertainment at a 2-year olds birthday party is not worth worrying about. I hope that you are only assuming that these people would really care and it's not the case.

The kids will love it (especially if there is cake!).

Happy Birthday to your sweet little girl!

[Oh the Irony]

Get bubbles.

Paula

[zipworth]

I don't know how hot it is where you are, but can you do a sprinkler party ? The kids all come in bathing suits and run through the sprinkler. A single mom at the daycare I used to work at was beyond broke, but the kids had a blast! She even borrowed the hose and the sprinkler. The beauty of young children is that they are very easy to impress. Who cares what the parents think ? Anyone with any depth wouldn't give two hoots about how much money you spent !