Crappy reaction from nurse :(

[Bubblette]

Yesterday I called my school's health center to make an appointment with the Dr. I don't have a GP here and I need a referral in order to see an OB or a mw. They didn't have a Dr. in, but said I could see the nurse and that would be fine, she could "confirm" I am pg (like I don't know how to poas) and make some recommendations and then they could book me into the Dr. if needed.

I show up, wait for the nurse, walk into her office
vile nurse: "so why are you here today"
me: "well, I'm pregnant "
vn: "Oh. when was your LMP?"
me: "well it was this date, but my cycles are a bit longer than typical, and we had a condom break exactly 2 weeks ago."
vn: "did you take the morning after pill"
me: " no, I didn't"
vn: "Well why not!"
me: "I'm married! it may have not been planed but I was NOT looking for the MAP, and I am definitely NOT looking for an abortion"
vn: "OH:"

it went on from there..... but that was the general attitude the whole visit, like I was some sort of idiot. I know it's a university health center, I'm sure most girls who come in pregnant are not happy about it but I thought I made it pretty clear I was with my BEAMING about it, and said NO I didn't take a MAP.....

In the end she said she couldn't help me and I'd need an appointment with the Dr. I explained what reception had told me, apologized and tried to leave.... but she kept on about how hard this was going to be and all of the tests they HAVE to do etc....

I guess I should be happy that has been the only negative reaction I've gotten. School officials were awesome and totally accommodating... ugh

[welldone]

ugh. sorry, bubblette.

[Keeta]

Ugh, that sounds so lame! Way to rain on your parade, huh?

You should do a little happy dance just to spite her.

[ekblad9]

TBH - I have had ALOT of bad experiences with RN's or NP. I don't get it. It's like pulling teeth trying to get them to let me have a blood test. One time I went in around 14 wks for an u/s (I was having a homebirth but needed/wanted an u/s and a back up dr) and the nurse was so shocked that anyone would wait 14 wks to be seen by a dr. When I told her when I was due she said "we'll just see what the dr. says" like I was an IDIOT! Hello! I know when I'm due. Anyway, I'm sorry you had that experience!! :

[acordio]

Sucky nurse!!

[Bubblette]

I'm booked with with the Dr. next Wednesday to get a referral and a whole bunch of tests it seems. The nurse mentioned general blood work, especially hemtocrit to evaluate future anemia, and a rubella titer.

I don't know anywhere near enough about this I know what I think I want as far as labor is concerned (no intervention, no meds, any position I feel comfortable in, preferably a water birth), but after this first experience I just wonder what dealing with the Dr. will be like. I have no idea what my pre-natal care options are... how am I going to find a provider I want to work with???

[merrywearer]

would you consider a homebirth midwife? Homebirths are awesome, and you'd limit your interaction with ridiculous nurses

[Bubblette]

Originally Posted by merrywearer

would you consider a homebirth midwife? Homebirths are awesome, and you'd limit your interaction with ridiculous nurses

I like the idea of a homebirth but my DH made it abundantly clear he feels uncomfortable with the idea. We'll have to see what I can find out about birthing centers vs. hospitals vs. homebirth here. We're living in Australia (originally from the states) and I have no idea what the protocols or options are here.

[ratrodgrl]

that's horrible! sheesh what a waste of time and emotional energy. Well, WE are very excited about your baby! : As far as how the doc will be, you can get a good idea from them about what their policy is for birth at the hospital they attend. We weren't ready for a homebirth with DS (although I wish in retrospect that we'd pursued it!) so we gave birth at a hospital that offered waterbirths and had midwives. The prob with any hospital is that it is rare that your practitioner will actually be the one attending your birth. I saw all the midwives in the practice while pregnant, but the one who was at the birth was a community midwife whom I'd never met. Just something to think about, usually whoever is on-call will be the one to attend the birth.

A good movie to watch if you're interested in a homebirth but your partner is not is "The Business of Being Born" ... it really goes over the safety of homebirth. I'd try taking hubby along to a midwife interview, he may be amazed at the array of medical equipment they use (it's like bringing a birth center to your home). If you have netflix, you can watch it directly on the computer!

[makeminepink]

I am sorry you had to get such a judgmental nurse. I would have wanted to punch her! I would tell the doctor you felt very uncomfortable with the nurse in hopes they will not have you interact with her further.

: Is all you should be feeling!

[JollyGG]

This makes me livid

And we wonder why the abortion rate in this country is so high - when a scared college student goes in because she might be pregnant and the first thing she is told is that she can't handle pregnancy and birth. I'm sure there was also no mention of campus resources available to pregnant and parenting students either.

[ZoeyZoo]

Originally Posted by ratrodgrl

that's horrible! sheesh what a waste of time and emotional energy. Well, WE are very excited about your baby! : As far as how the doc will be, you can get a good idea from them about what their policy is for birth at the hospital they attend. We weren't ready for a homebirth with DS (although I wish in retrospect that we'd pursued it!) so we gave birth at a hospital that offered waterbirths and had midwives. The prob with any hospital is that it is rare that your practitioner will actually be the one attending your birth. I saw all the midwives in the practice while pregnant, but the one who was at the birth was a community midwife whom I'd never met. Just something to think about, usually whoever is on-call will be the one to attend the birth.

A good movie to watch if you're interested in a homebirth but your partner is not is "The Business of Being Born" ... it really goes over the safety of homebirth. I'd try taking hubby along to a midwife interview, he may be amazed at the array of medical equipment they use (it's like bringing a birth center to your home). If you have netflix, you can watch it directly on the computer!

I second watching this film.
DH was against a HB the first time I mentioned it. When I got pg I took him to HB MWs. It was watching the contract between HB and hospital births in the Business of Being Born that he finally got it.

[Bubblette]

Originally Posted by JollyGG

This makes me livid

And we wonder why the abortion rate in this country is so high - when a scared college student goes in because she might be pregnant and the first thing she is told is that she can't handle pregnancy and birth. I'm sure there was also no mention of campus resources available to pregnant and parenting students either.

I'm actually located in Australia I'm an American studying over here. You are right about it influencing abortion rates, they are phenomenally high here, and the adoption rate is abysmal. You're right there was no mention of resources from the health center. It's a decently large university with multiple grad and professional programs too, that nurse had no way of knowing my situation and just made some blanket judgments. Luckily, my department was wonderfully supportive and very encouraging.

[marinak1977]

I'm sorry you had to deal with such a judgemental nurse. Hopefully you will get a much more open-minded health professional to guide you through your pregnancy...

[nudhistbudhist]

Hugs! That woman must not have had very good birth experiences herself ;P Babies are blessings. My doc is the opposite. He is mainstream, but lets me do what I want. Especially after he discovered my 8 month old has never been in diapers (he was so impressed he now agrees with whatever I say lol). When I told him I was14 days pregnant, he handed me the papers for all the labwork and told me to "cross of the ones you don't want before you take it in" and "do you want a pap?" He also asked if I wanted an ultrasound. I said yes, just one please. The only thing that I found amusing was when I explained I was going to tandem nurse, and he tried to tell me that because of the pregnancy, my milk supply would be lower and less nutritional. I reassured him *cause u know how they worry lol* that my little pigglet eats TONS of solid food and has been since 5 months (i had no choice, he wouldnt leave my food alone).

Congrats on your pregnancy. Hopefully your OB is a little more compassionate.