My husband hit our puppy

[sarathan]

OMG, dh hit our new puppy this morning! I am so mad and sad, I just don't know what to do. TJ (our puppy) has been barking really loud in his crate as soon as dh gets up, which is at 5:30 and he is so loud, he wakes EVERYONE up. Dh finally lost it this morning and smacked him twice HARD. I heard yelping. He said he feels bad and won't do it again, but I don't know, dh can have quite a temper at times. Should I re-home TJ??? I only want a dog that is going to be treated well by EVERYONE in the family. If I re-home him, my two boys will be CRUSHED, ugh. This sucks.

[phatchristy]

I can understand how you'd be horrified at this.

[betsyj]

Is DH taking the puppy out to pee as soon as he wakes up? A 9 week old puppy can't hold it overnight yet and needs to be let out. That may be contributing to the yelping.

Honestly it sounds like your home is maybe not right for a puppy without some big changes. I saw your other thread and would be very worried about a 9 week pup growling at your kids. While they shouldn't be picking him up at all or bothering him while sleeping, growling at that young an age from a lab? Oy.

Can you return the pup to the breeder? I think I would consider that, take a big step back and maybe wait and revisit the dog issue when your kids are older.

Can't help you with your hubby because beating a puppy is so foreign to me-especially a puppy who is probably only vocalizing because he has to pee.

[sarathan]

Originally Posted by betsyj

Is DH taking the puppy out to pee as soon as he wakes up? A 9 week old puppy can't hold it overnight yet and needs to be let out. That may be contributing to the yelping.

Honestly it sounds like your home is maybe not right for a puppy without some big changes. I saw your other thread and would be very worried about a 9 week pup growling at your kids. While they shouldn't be picking him up at all or bothering him while sleeping, growling at that young an age from a lab? Oy.

Can you return the pup to the breeder? I think I would consider that, take a big step back and maybe wait and revisit the dog issue when your kids are older.

Can't help you with your hubby because beating a puppy is so foreign to me-especially a puppy who is probably only vocalizing because he has to pee.

Yes, dh lets him out but he likes to go to the bathroom, shave and get dressed first. THEN he lets puppy out. TJ has been sleeping through the night all on his own. We didn't make him "cry it out" or anything like that. Obviously dh can no longer handle that responsibility and I need to take care of it myself.

We bought him from an excellent breeder who would either take him back or help us re-home him.

[angie7]

Of course you shouldn't rehome the puppy, why would you even think this? Your dh lost his temper, you need to talk to your dh not uproot the dog and break your kids hearts.

[sugarpop]

You know your husband better than any of us. Was it a mistake? His hitting the dog, is he really upset by this and do you believe him when he says it won't happen again?? It was an awful mistake to make and I am not down playing that at all. But I have slipped up and swatted my dogs bottom after emptying out the trash. I felt horrible, guilty and disgusted with my self!

Is it possible that this was a one time mistake? Puppies definately need to go out asap after waking up, really any dog wants to go out as soon as it wakes up. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Or your husband does when he wakes up? Well the pup just wants the same thing, might not want to wait until DH has showered and dressed. As my dog has gotten older she will wait until I shower but I swear it is b/c she is a princess and still needs her beauty rest.

As far as the dog growling...???

[sarathan]

Originally Posted by angie7

Of course you shouldn't rehome the puppy, why would you even think this? Your dh lost his temper, you need to talk to your dh not uproot the dog and break your kids hearts.

I would think that because it's not fair to the dog to be in a home where he isn't treated properly by everyone in the family.

[dachshundqueen]

Originally Posted by sarathan

Yes, dh lets him out but he likes to go to the bathroom, shave and get dressed first. THEN he lets puppy out. TJ has been sleeping through the night all on his own. We didn't make him "cry it out" or anything like that. Obviously dh can no longer handle that responsibility and I need to take care of it myself.

We bought him from an excellent breeder who would either take him back or help us re-home him.

I brought a puppy into the relationship when I met DH, years ago obviously, now that puppy is 8 years old! DH and I still have the same disagreement. Put dog out then shower and make coffee. But DH wants to do it the other way around. I struggle with the dog, who is also blind and has back issues. But given that yours is a puppy and the ongoing problems you've been having I would rehome the dog or return it to the breeder. You cannot afford (in so many ways) to have the dog bite the children. My eldest got bitten around the eye and it bruised and we were fortunate not to have any eye injuries. So seriously, this is a liability for you and it's obviously causing you family problems. Explain to the kids, and they will get over it. I remember a puppy being returned as a child, but I got over it. It's life.

Liz

[sarathan]

Originally Posted by sugarpop

You know your husband better than any of us. Was it a mistake? His hitting the dog, is he really upset by this and do you believe him when he says it won't happen again?? It was an awful mistake to make and I am not down playing that at all. But I have slipped up and swatted my dogs bottom after emptying out the trash. I felt horrible, guilty and disgusted with my self!

Is it possible that this was a one time mistake? Puppies definately need to go out asap after waking up, really any dog wants to go out as soon as it wakes up. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Or your husband does when he wakes up? Well the pup just wants the same thing, might not want to wait until DH has showered and dressed. As my dog has gotten older she will wait until I shower but I swear it is b/c she is a princess and still needs her beauty rest.

As far as the dog growling...???

Dh said it wouldn't happen again and I do believe that he will try his hardest to not hit the dog again. But he did say he doesn't like the dog or really even want the dog anymore and will probably just ignore him. That's hard for me because firstly, I want our puppy to be loved by everyone in our family, not just our boys and I. And second, this puts ALL the work of training him/taking care of him on me. I'm not sure if I'm up for raising a puppy by myself. Also, is it really fair to my dh to have to have a dog in the house he doesn't want or love?? I just don't know. Lots to think about.

And yes, the growling....a whole 'nother can of worms it seems. I wasn't TOO worried about it until I got the responses that I did.

[LionessMom]

if the dog is already growling at the kids, then it needs to go. it wont wuit growling at your kids. it means he is scared of them. it will just get worse as he gets older. my dig was like that. she is much happier after being rehomed to a house that doesnt have kids. she is no longer stressed out or confined to an area of the house where there are no kids.

[Miasmamma]

Your DH is already telling you what to do with the dog. He doesn't want it or the responsibility of it. I would take the pup back to the breeder and let her find it a better home. At 9 weeks she shouldn't have a problem. I would wait on another puppy until your kids are old enough to shoulder some of the work and can better understand when it is acceptable to pick up a puppy. You may also want to consider an older rescue dog rather than a puppy. As for hitting a 9 week old puppy, he's done it once and doesn't want the dog, it will happen again.

[phatchristy]

Wasn't the dog his idea originally? Grr...

I'd take a long, hard look at whether you can realistically raise this puppy on your own (who will definitely be a ton of work for the next 2-3 years, and then after a lot of work) given your current situation (two young children to take care of). I don't see how this isn't going to just be a boat load of stress. LIfe, maintaining a home and raising young children is difficult enough. I wouldn't delay, because right now you've only had him for a very short time. If you return him now it won't be that hard on the kids. In fact, it's highly likely they will not remember him, if even after several months. Your 3 year old most definitely will not, and your 5 year old, maybe barely. I know this because we had family pets die at that age with our kids, and sadly only my oldest seems to have a little memory of the last one that passed on two years ago when she was 5--and that cat lived with us her whole life and she still barely remembers!

Obviously, you should have thought about this before getting a dog, let alone a lab (which I wouldn't personally wish a lab puppy on anyone with a busy lifestyle who didn't really have the time, experience nor energy to put in a lot of work). But, if you cannot provide the structure, training and consistency that any dog needs (let alone a lab--they can be so stubborn) it's better now to give the dog back when it's still a young puppy. Keeping it when you know that it's not a good match for your family, and that ultimately it will not work isn't fair to your family or the dog.

That's just my opinion of course, people might flame me for it. I've lived through two labs. And, I know how much work they are.

[mom0810]

Rehoming the dog would not be for the DOG's own good, but for the good of your family, based on your other posts. This puppy is waaaaay to hard for a family with little kids. The fact that he has been growling at the kids is just a deal breaker for me... I would never accept that. This sounds like a dog that could be a good performance dog for a very experienced owner... that is once he is reevaluated by the breeder because I really suspect he's got a screw loose or something else is going on.

[sarathan]

Originally Posted by phatchristy

Wasn't the dog his idea originally? Grr...

I'd take a long, hard look at whether you can realistically raise this puppy on your own (who will definitely be a ton of work for the next 2-3 years, and then after a lot of work) given your current situation (two young children to take care of). I don't see how this isn't going to just be a boat load of stress. LIfe, maintaining a home and raising young children is difficult enough. I wouldn't delay, because right now you've only had him for a very short time. If you return him now it won't be that hard on the kids. In fact, it's highly likely they will not remember him, if even after several months. Your 3 year old most definitely will not, and your 5 year old, maybe barely. I know this because we had family pets die at that age with our kids, and sadly only my oldest seems to have a little memory of the last one that passed on two years ago when she was 5--and that cat lived with us her whole life and she still barely remembers!

Obviously, you should have thought about this before getting a dog, let alone a lab (which I wouldn't personally wish a lab puppy on anyone with a busy lifestyle who didn't really have the time, experience nor energy to put in a lot of work). But, if you cannot provide the structure, training and consistency that any dog needs (let alone a lab--they can be so stubborn) it's better now to give the dog back when it's still a young puppy. Keeping it when you know that it's not a good match for your family, and that ultimately it will not work isn't fair to your family or the dog.

That's just my opinion of course, people might flame me for it. I've lived through two labs. And, I know how much work they are.

Actually the dog was my idea, but we all agreed.

I DID think it through. I didn't know dh would react this way. I'm not sure where you get the idea that we are not able to provide training and structure, he is getting all of those things. I agree that I can't raise this puppy all by myself. If dh is no longer on board, I need to re-home him.

[sarathan]

Originally Posted by mom0810

Rehoming the dog would not be for the DOG's own good, but for the good of your family, based on your other posts. This puppy is waaaaay to hard for a family with little kids. The fact that he has been growling at the kids is just a deal breaker for me... I would never accept that. This sounds like a dog that could be a good performance dog for a very experienced owner... that is once he is reevaluated by the breeder because I really suspect he's got a screw loose or something else is going on.

Do you really think he might have a screw loose? I actually e-mailed the breeder this morning about the growling issue and she didn't say ANYTHING about returning him in her response. She just basically said that TJ needs more time to learn his place in the family and the kids shouldn't put their faces next to his face nor should they let him chase them or play tug-of-war with him.

[gumby74]

I really think you should give the dog back or re-home him. Dh has stated he doesn't want the dog and will ignore him and frankly.......there's nothing that anyone could tell me that would convince me it's ok to hit the puppy. I'm really sick to my stomach thinking about this dog getting hit for doing nothing more than being a puppy. Your dh has to learn that there are more appropriate ways to take out his anger......if he wouldn't hit his kids than why is ok to hit the defenseless animal who is looking to your dh for guidance love and support...just like the kids. A couple of days ago, a young dog was brought into our humane society because he had bit the owner. The owner was HORRIBLE to this dog and this dog won't stop shaking. She is scared to death and in the end she may be euthanized because she bit, eventhough she was provoked by the owner. Sorry....i'm sure your husabnd is a wonderful husband and father, but I have very little tolerance for people who take out their aggression on animals. Rehome him and give him a chance of being with a family where EVERYONE wants him and will treat him with respect. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and you need to do what is right by this dog and move on.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

Originally Posted by angie7

Of course you shouldn't rehome the puppy, why would you even think this? Your dh lost his temper, you need to talk to your dh not uproot the dog and break your kids hearts.

I agree with this, give DH another chance, I'm sure he feels bad about it.

[SevenVeils]

Originally Posted by betsyj

While they shouldn't be picking him up at all or bothering him while sleeping,

I disagree with this completely.

Originally Posted by mom0810

Rehoming the dog would not be for the DOG's own good, but for the good of your family, based on your other posts. This puppy is waaaaay to hard for a family with little kids. The fact that he has been growling at the kids is just a deal breaker for me... I would never accept that. This sounds like a dog that could be a good performance dog for a very experienced owner... that is once he is reevaluated by the breeder because I really suspect he's got a screw loose or something else is going on.

:

I can't get past the fact that this is a 9 WEEK OLD PUPPY.

Originally Posted by sarathan

Do you really think he might have a screw loose? I actually e-mailed the breeder this morning about the growling issue and she didn't say ANYTHING about returning him in her response. She just basically said that TJ needs more time to learn his place in the family and the kids shouldn't put their faces next to his face nor should they let him chase them or play tug-of-war with him.

I absolutely think he might very well have a screw loose. This is NOT normal puppy behaviour, regardless of what his breeder is telling you. Or, if this IS normal behaviour for her line of puppies, she needs to stop breeding.

[Momily]

Sevenveils,

When you say you disagree with Betsy, are you saying that the children should be allowed to pick him up or disturb him while he's sleeping?

I wouldn't feel comfortable with a child that young picking up a puppy or disturbing a dog where there's any concern that they may bite.

Or am I misunderstanding what you disagree with.

[SevenVeils]

Originally Posted by Momily

Sevenveils,

When you say you disagree with Betsy, are you saying that the children should be allowed to pick him up or disturb him while he's sleeping?

Yes.

There should not be a concern that he might bite. He is a baby puppy. This is the time to accustom a pup to being disturbed and picked up and having his paws, ears handled, toys taken at will, people messing around in his food (including children) etc.

This particular dog? I don't believe that he should be living in a home with children at all. I think he is a time bomb. For this particular dog, I wouldn't allow my kids to pick him up or disturb him, who knows when that growl will turn into a bite.

But then I wouldn't have a dog like that around children.