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Have you ever had a CPS visit?

Poll Results: Have you ever had a CPS visit?

 
  • 11% (43)
    Yes
  • 85% (319)
    No
  • 3% (12)
    Other
374 Total Votes  
post #1 of 80
Thread Starter 
I'm getting the feeling from other threads that maybe it's common to get a visit at some point in your kids' lives. And that's freaking me out.

Have you ever had someone from CPS visit you? Just to get an idea of how often this happens to people.
post #2 of 80
I say "no"... But, I have had daycare kids who's families were being investigated, and they come to my daycare to talk to me about what I have seen or experienced.

None of those kids were removed from their home. They just had a file somewhere with their names on them, and the case was dropped.

One of them though.. one of the teenage twin brothers was locked in his attic for the day in May (in 100+ temps) he kicked his way through the ceiling and out of the garage door. Even those kids weren't removed.
post #3 of 80
Thread Starter 
My parents were investigated several times when I was a kid in the 70s, but we were never removed. Of course the house was always clean - partially because we were only allowed to have two toys each. It's easy to keep the house clean if you don't let your kids in the house during the day and don't let your kids have toys. But that doesn't make someone a good parent.

Things did improve as we got older and it's possible that was due to CPS.
post #4 of 80

yes i have

the first time was when i left my UAV XH. he hit me while i was holding DS. he was 6 months old. it was founded against me as well even though i left.

the second time was when DS was 3. i was a bad mother at the time. my house was filthy and I was more concerned with smoking pot than cleaning the cat poop up off the floor. i was 21 yrs old. they took him to foster care. i got him back 2 months later after starightening my self out.

the third time was when i was livivng with my x-fiancee. his S's mom was founded b/c she had meth ingredients under his crib. we got custody. i was the main caregiver. bmom tried to accuse me of overdosing the baby on tylenol. they came out to investigate a burn he had though. i gave him a chicken nugget that had been sitting and cooling for a couple of minutes but the oil in it was still hot and it caused a blister on his hand. he didnt even cry. i treated it and bandaged it. the SW agreed i did a nice job of treating it and the bmom was talked to. DS was 8yo, i was 27.

the fourth time was after i broke up with X-fiancee. i was 28, DS was 9. DS got a bruise on his arm when he was running on the stairs (the rail was a little rickety). the school thought i had grabbed him. they came over and checked him out then left and said everything was ok.

now i am going on 33 and the visit me once or twice a month. DSDs bmom has an active case for neglect and they have to check on them. they have no problem giving DH and I the kids even though i have so many visits on my record. they have judged me by my present rather than my past. i find that to be unusual with SW's. they know i co-sleep, was bfing etc. they think my house is wonderful. i think the big thing they like is that i have accepted my part in the founded reports i have and have changed my ways. i am not in denial over what happened.
post #5 of 80
No, but I thought I might once. When my oldest 2 were in elementary school and my 3rd oldest was in preschool they all got out of school at the same time. They were 4, 6, and 9. I would run down the road to pick up my 4 year old and then rush back home to be there when my 6 and 9 year olds got off the bus. The bus stop was just down the street and they walked home with a group of other kids every day. Well, one day when I went to get my 4 year old my car broke down. I called all my neighbors and NONE of them were home. So the bus got there about 30 mins before I did. My 9 year old knew to go inside and lock all the doors, but the next day my 6 year old went to school and told her teacher that I left them home alone ALL the time. When they came home my oldest told me that the principal had called them up to the office and asked them a bunch of questions like do they stay at home alone a lot and do their parents just leave them there unsupervised all afternoon. I kept expecting a visit but I talked to my friend who is a SW and she said that even if I did leave them home alone every day for an hour or two that that's perfectly legal for kids their ages and that no one would file a complaint based on something like that unless there were signs of neglect in other areas. Needless to say I had a long talk with my 6 year old about exaggeration.
post #6 of 80
forget it
post #7 of 80
Nope. And I know a large amount of people who parent similarly to what is common on MDC...and none of them have ever had a visit either.
post #8 of 80
I voted other. They came a couple times when I was a kid. Nothing ever came of it though. As a foster parent, DHHS made regular visits to the home- but that's different.
post #9 of 80

hi


Edited by mama2peyton - 11/10/10 at 10:10am
post #10 of 80
indrectly yes- my dh was in basic training, and i had our nephews (his older brothers son and step-ish son- they werent married, and BIL had taken off to get his act together at that point) who were 2 and 4, because SIL cant keep her act together.

we had just woken up and were lounging around watching tv and there was a knock on the door and there was a social worker there. they said that SIL was on drugs-true, that the was wh0ring herself out-true, she had stable place to live and was bouncing the kids from sleazy motel to sleazy motel (at that point she was staying at a motel that was a known hooker place)- which was true to a point, she was moving around, but thats why the kids were with me

the only untrue part is the people who called (and yes i know who they were- more on them later) said my apartment was a crackhouse! the SW didnt even address that though. she talked to damion (the older one) alone, gave me her card, and that was it. and my house was BEYOND messy too

i went to the meeting with her, because she said if they didnt let her take the kids home she wanted me to take them. they basically said, unfounded or not, this was her last strike, and if there was another call she was losing her kids. i guess older DN had a broken arm that caused an investigation when he was a baby (i met him just before he turned one, and it was before that) and she got busted for smoking pot (i guess considering SIL, we're lucky it was just pot) while she was pregnant for younger DN.

nothing ended up happening that time. that was the summer. the army moved us to germany in october. she lost the kids again. when we went and visited in july after dh got home from iraq, they were living with her sister, who was doing the best she could, but she had 4 of her own kids in a 1br apartment. she was talking about them being moved. my sister went home after that day and talked to her husband about taking the kids, but when they got back to SIL, she said oh, too late, theyre staying with K&M (baby snatchers, pretty much, and the ones who called CPS on her and me).

at that time, BIL had gotten his act together, got married, and joined the army. he was in iraq the same time dh was the second time, when we got word she was giving the kids up for adoption via the baby snatchers his name wasnt on the babys BC because she was married to older DNs dad who was in prison when he was born. he did what he could from iraq, with his wife having a POA, but they ran out of money for their lawyer, and the baby snatchers had a shady lawyer. nobody even wanted to accept DNA proof that younger DN was BILs kid. unfortunatly, he had no claim to older DN. that was in 2005 i think, and nobody has heard from her since we dont know what happened with the kids, or where they are or anything

*** i call them baby snatchers because i think thats what theyre about. theyre affiliated with a hige church in houston, and run a "street church" for homeless kids. i personally think they sell babies. another friend of mine happened to be there one time, saw my nephews and talked to SIL, and met the baby snatchers. her ex was my sister and BILs roommate at the time. they somehow managed to get in the middle of their custody issues too, and showed up at my sisters apartment (how they found her i dont know, she wasnt listed, and the mama didnt know where she lived) after the son decided to stay with dad instead of goign home with his sister to mom. anyway, they showed up with mom and the cops, conviently when dad was gone, only my sis and the new GF were there with his son, so the cops took him since there was no legal guardian. then they tried to get cps involved, saying he was covered in bruises and prompting the little boy to say dad beat him


anyway, that was long and crazy it still upsets me. i miss my boys like crazy. she was an awful parent, and i preactically raised them. they were 4 and almost 6 the last time i saw them, and i cant wrap my mind around the fact that they will be 9 and 11 this year ( i dont know if the CPS report actually went on my record, i doubt it. ive had background checks to work at daycares, and i think i would know if it came up that i had cps called for running a crack house while my nephews were there, lol
post #11 of 80

Yes

Yes.

Initially, they came because my twins were not given formula when they were TWELVE MONTHS OLD. I BFed them and because their weight slowed at their 12 month check up and because I told the pedi that I had stopped formula once they started solids, she freaked. I told her that formula at 12 months was a weird idea. She told CPS that they had failure to thrive. We took them BACK to HER office, where they discovered that they did NOT have failure to thrive, they even wrote a letter saying that they no longer had it. However, CPS was all over us. Come to find out, not only did I not give them formula, but I *GASP* homeschooled and did not vaccinate!!! Oh, my poor kids!!!!!!!!!

They threatened me to send them to school. Saying that, "next time, you better watch out" (not in those exact words, but you get the drift).

Nightmare. The twins pediatrician negated the FTT diagnosis, but told CPS that she was worried because we did not do well baby checkups every month. She told us on the phone that that was the real reason why she called, because she felt that they were not being seen enough.

All because of a ridiculous call, we were now put on trial for everything else we did that was not "conventional".

Oh and add to it, we have a large family. They actually had the nerve to ask us why we keep having children. One lady at our, "meeting" even suggested that DH get a vasectomy. It was embarrassing.
post #12 of 80
I have not, but when my dd was 3.5 and sexually assaulted we did use cps to investigate and visited them at the health department. They were very kind and helpful.
post #13 of 80
Yes. The 1st 2 times where when I was in an ugly custody case w/ex1 and they and his parents were playing dirty. Called in with the house was flithy 1st. SW came looked at the living room and said "yes it needs to be cleaned but nothing an few mins of picking up wouldn't help and you've got a newborn". I'd just had dd10 less than a month earlier it was right after breakfast so the oleders' plates were still out and it was a week after x-mas so all the new toys were out. But not unfit for habitation.

The 2nd visit was a month after the 1st.Same sw came out this time I had strangled the kids sopposedly! He talked to the kids at school, their teachers, dr and then us again found nothing to the file about.That was 10 yrs ago.

The last time was last fall.DD15 left the house (call it ran away if you'd like) while upset and we never called her in as a run away. She talked to the counslor at school who called CPS and told them we'd kicked her out. The sw talked to dd at her boyfriends (where she stayed that night) and dd told her no I left on my own. SW recommended counsoling for DD but didn't make it mandatory- dd refused. No case was opened.

Found the SW I've dealt with to be reasonable people but still don't like having anyone of authority(power) in my house- feel they have too much say in others life and most of that power is based on their own opinion.
post #14 of 80
I've never had anyone call on me, but there were involved in the lives of two people I know. The first one was a neglectful parent due her developmental delays (her son was also delayed), but CPS didn't do much with her case despite multiple reports. In the second case, the removed the kids immediately due to the fact that one already had a history of TPR, and the other was a registered sex offender, but NOT a child molester (it was something that happened when he was really young-he did something to a girl as a teenager, and she pressed charges). However, despite these factors, they *were* good parents. I knew the guy personally and the details of his charge, and it was all pretty trumped up. However, CPS saw "sex offender" and their kids were gone. It was really a sad situation. The only reason the girl had a TPR on her record was that she carried her rapists' baby and decided that she wasn't comfortable raising the child and allowed her parents to adopt her. In her depression, she had used some drugs which is why CPS was called. By the time she had given birth the second time, she had cleaned up her act. I can understand CPS's concern about the situation, but I really think these people should have been given a chance to parent.
post #15 of 80
No, but I am kind of surprised. I am a total outcast with other mommies in my area.
post #16 of 80
My parents were visited once when I was a child. We're pretty sure the call was in retaliation from a neighbor. After the neighbor was visited by CPS (and her daughter was sent to live with her father), every family on the block got a visit.
post #17 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by celestialdreamer View Post
Nope. And I know a large amount of people who parent similarly to what is common on MDC...and none of them have ever had a visit either.
Same here.
post #18 of 80
I haven't, but my ex did with his wife and SD, 8.

The girl was spotted on the school playground, in the snow, without proper winter gear. Now, she was sent to school WITH the proper winter gear, and had either not put it on for recess, or took it off during recess. Someone called CPS to report neglect. Why nobody bothered to ask the teacher where the winter gear was, I don't know.

Once the call is made, CPS needs to follow-up, no matter how absurd the allegation. So the social worker did a home visit, found a modest-but-safe apartment, ample food and proper clothing, and closed the file. (My ex called me and asked what he needed to do to prepare for a CPS visit--I said clean up but hospital corners aren't necessary, and make sure any booze is out of reach, any moving boxes--they had just moved--were either unpacked, stored in the basement, or stacked neatly away from exits and radiators-- and that there isn't a lot of beer in the fridge, though some is fine--this is WI.) The social worker was kind and understanding, so, overall, it was OK.
post #19 of 80
Yup 2 times, basically the same reason, different situation, both unfounded!! (and leading to another person getting investigated)

I had (all these people are past tense friends, if you want to call them that!) a friend S who was also my daughters godmother. She had 2 boys, at the time, ages 7 an 2 (mine were 3 and 1). The 7 yr old decided it would be a great idea to convince my 3 yr old to pull his pants down and let him stick things in his anus.

Well, I found out about this, and confronted SF. She then proceeded to blame my THREE yr old for something her SEVEN yr old did.

So I stupidly told my other friend J. J was also friends with someone who I did not get along with AT ALL! (the 4 of us worked in the same day care at one point) So after telling J, she proceeded to tell the other person. That person then called me and threatened me and my family (she used the fact that her husband was a sniper in the military to scare people often!). So I called the cops on her, stating she ha threatened us.

The NEXT DAY CPS was at my sons preschool. The report said "obvious sexual abuse in the home." So I proceeded to tell the whole story.


They let me go, and told me they would be investigating S, and that my case was closed.



The second time, was when my 3 yr old then turned around and did what the 7 yr old did to him almost right after, and before we had him in therapy for it. The doctor who checked the little boy out had called, which I assume had had to. The same CPS person came to my house, and made sure that we were getting him help. She was VERY nice, and I wish they were all like her


I can tell you though, almost 6 years later, and even though my family lives in another state, if I saw any of them today, since I have not talked to them since this happened, they would really get a piece of my mind!
post #20 of 80
No, I haven't had a visit but I don't want to re-establish contact with my mother, even though she is trying, because I feel that she will eventually call on me. My house is always messy (but not dirty) and I honestly don't know if I will be able to keep it without the clutter. The kitchen and bathrooms are clean, but clothes and junk all over the place. I take out trash every day, but my house isn't going to pass any white glove test, even if I were to figure out a way to get it "clean."
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