or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Have you ever had a CPS visit?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Have you ever had a CPS visit? - Page 2

Poll Results: Have you ever had a CPS visit?

 
  • 11% (43)
    Yes
  • 85% (319)
    No
  • 3% (12)
    Other
374 Total Votes  
post #21 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by celestialdreamer View Post
Nope. And I know a large amount of people who parent similarly to what is common on MDC...and none of them have ever had a visit either.
Agreed. I get that they make mistakes, but I really think they have better things to do than hound good parents who don't vaccinate or home school. I've known some of some horrific cases of children being abused or neglected and not being removed from homes, so I have a tough time wrapping my head around all of the CPS fear. I get that they make mistakes, but I think that in a lot of cases they could do more than they do, if that makes sense.

We're very open with our doctors (as well as those at the ER) about not vaccinating and I've never been scared that CPS was going to come after us. That said, we're well educated, white, well employed and older, so we're probably not stereotyped the way other parents might be.
post #22 of 80
Nope.
post #23 of 80
Yes. I was in labour with a HBA3C, and someone reported me for homebirthing in an unhygienic environment. My friend, doula and midwife had been cleaning for me since the labour started (even before that for my friend) and the place was fine when they came by. (It had been borderline for a couple months, due to my fatigue level and ds2's incredible ability to wreak havoc.) No file was ever opened.

Unfortunately, that visit caused my labour to stall, and I really do feel it contributed to my son's eventual stillbirth (so did lots of other things, including my fear of hospitals - I'm not trying to put it all on CPS). It was a horrible experience.
post #24 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by freestylemama View Post
I've known some of some horrific cases of children being abused or neglected and not being removed from homes, so I have a tough time wrapping my head around all of the CPS fear. I get that they make mistakes, but I think that in a lot of cases they could do more than they do, if that makes sense.
Of course they could. How does the fact that they could/should do more in some cases mean there's no reason to be afraid of them in other cases. Mistakes can go in either direction.

Mind you, I think people who make frivolous (eg. revenge) calls to CPS should be liable to criminal prosecution. It makes me sick that a case worker's desk can be so piled with cases where an ex or family member is mad at a mom that they can't deal with cases where parents are beating or neglecting their kids.
post #25 of 80
Yup I have. My story is kind of complicated. I went to them in alberta after I gave my oldest son up for adoption and I had PPD so I was looking for different resources that I could access through them because there are some things I couldn't access by myself. I was on Meds for the PPD so I started a service plan with them. Well my meds started not working and giving me suicidal and homicidal thoughts so I went off them so I could start a new med. But part of my service plan was to stay on my meds. I got someone to take my child while I switch had a doctor's note and everything and they took him because I went off my meds under doctor's supervision. They also said it was because I was a young single mom on one income and in a low income class so that made me high risk for neglecting and abusing my son. Well I ended up fighting for close to 2 years and was supposed to get him back in June of 08 but we found out in May that he had PDD-NOS so I decided to leave him with my parents because I was moving 3000 miles away to a province that doesn't have near enough resources for a child with that special need and I had just found out that I was pregnant with my youngest son and knew it wouldn't be fair to either of them

With my youngest the worker came to me straight from the hospital 3 days after my c-section telling me I may not be able to bring my baby home even though my house was immaculate and I had done nothing wrong during my pregnancy but all because of my file in edmonton, which was sent to New Brunswick after a gag order had been put on them. My son was put in foster care and I am getting him back on May 5th after him being in care for 6 months so my experience here has been way different.
post #26 of 80
Yes, because somebody called and told CPS I and my husband were drug addicts (which we're not, we don't use drugs at all, I don't even drink alcohol). This was one and a half year ago. We have a good idea who called - there was a gang of bikers who had their club house right next to our house, we had complained about them to their landlord, and they were constantly harassing us.

The whole thing was very unpleasant at first, as when we first talked to them it sounded like they had already made up their mind that the anonymous report was true. But they changed their tone towards us completely after talking to our doctor, a couple of neighbours who called them after we told them what happened, and the police who also called them because we reported the fake report as harassment. The CPS still had to come to our house, though, since the things we were accused of were so serious that the procedure demanded it.

So two social workers turned up, I served them tea and buns and they sat in the living room and watched us for twenty minutes, then they wrote a very positive report about us and dropped the case.
post #27 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer View Post
Once the call is made, CPS needs to follow-up, no matter how absurd the allegation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Mind you, I think people who make frivolous (eg. revenge) calls to CPS should be liable to criminal prosecution. It makes me sick that a case worker's desk can be so piled with cases where an ex or family member is mad at a mom that they can't deal with cases where parents are beating or neglecting their kids.
I do know several folks online who have reported their countries and/or states/provinces follow up on all calls! I find this bizarre. In the two states where I have lived most recently, I was a mandatory reporter. In both states, many, many calls were screened out before investigation.

Sometimes the calls are screened out because the behavior being reported doesn't meet a definition of abuse or show a risk for abuse in the eyes of the screener (once, for example, dw called about a child in her classroom reporting that he was regularly beaten with a wire hanger...the call was screened out because dw didn't note any marks on the child's skin and it is legal to beat a child in any way in that state as long as marks don't stay longer than a half hour). Sometimes the calls are screened out for other reasons.

As a mandatory reporter, I've always been told to call no matter what and let the screeners do their job. The calls are on file whether or not they get investigated, but that file never shows up anywhere (on background checks or anything else) except if another call is made about the same family. Sometimes when multiple people have called about the same family over a period of some length of time, a case worker is sent out to investigate even if the calls would normally be screened out. Still, that's just an investigation.

It's interesting how differently things work between locations, and I have no idea how social service agencies that investigate every report do it...how they can keep up with the cost and human resources.
post #28 of 80
We had CPS visit us about a year ago. We were living in a decrepit old house that has since been condemned, BUT we were working on it and kept the areas that were under construction blocked off from the kids. Honestly, it was my IL's who called because they were pissed that we were keeping the kids from them , makes sense, right? The SW was very helpful, came in, found a couple of stupid little things, came back the next day and closed the case. That was it. End of story.
post #29 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
Mind you, I think people who make frivolous (eg. revenge) calls to CPS should be liable to criminal prosecution. It makes me sick that a case worker's desk can be so piled with cases where an ex or family member is mad at a mom that they can't deal with cases where parents are beating or neglecting their kids.
Me too. I can't believe people actually do this. It's reprehensible.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Sierra View Post
(once, for example, dw called about a child in her classroom reporting that he was regularly beaten with a wire hanger...the call was screened out because dw didn't note any marks on the child's skin and it is legal to beat a child in any way in that state as long as marks don't stay longer than a half hour).
: Oh my God. Well, that's a whole other thread in itself! Unbelievable.
post #30 of 80
I'm not actually sure what the laws are on follow-up here. I know we never heard from them again. The woman said she'd come back on Friday (the initial visit was Wednesday), and she probably did. I was already at the hospital recovering from the c-section by that point. We left a note that we'd transferred. I assume they called the hospital to confirm I was there. That was the end of it on their end.

The thing is...even the screening means that CPS funds, staff and training are being tied up dealing with frivolous calls. Obviously, a mandated reporter is a different issue, and it sounds as though your dw, for example, gave all the info she had pertaining to the case. I'm no fan of CPS, but it's completely ridiculous that people get away with wasting the time of CPS staff, while their are children in horrific circumstances (the only ones that justify the existence of CPS in the first place, imo) slipping through the cracks. Many of those "cracks" are created by nonsense calls, imo.
post #31 of 80
No. But I know way too many that have. All but one was a load of bollocks. The only one that needed help was because of black mold in her apt. It wasn't her fault but it got her the help she needed to get the landlord to fix the problem.
All the others were vindictive people calling cps on families to cause trouble.
post #32 of 80
I have been meaning to get this off my chest for along time. So I will post a brief response now, and perhaps a longer one when I have time (at work now!)

Yes, CPS was called on me. And they made a visit 4 days after my son's birth. The second day I was home. The hospital where I gave birth called because

a) they thought I was suicidal and I signed myself out AMA. I wasn't suicidal, but made some sort of comment when I was sleep deprived about hating life or something. I honestly don't remember what I said.

b) they knew I was going to co-sleep and they had a problem with this.

c) They said I signed my baby out AMA (which I didn't). I had contemplated doing this, but didn't. They wanted me to stay an extra day because I didn't have the GBS screening done, so they didn't know my status. I didn't have it done because I don't believe the test is accurate in terms of positive response one day and negative the next, and I didn't want to be forced to have antibiotics. So, I didn't realize they would make me stay. For g-d's sake, I know the signs to look for in an infant.

Anyway, this was 7 months ago, and I still get upset about it sometimes. The whole post-partum hospital stay and subsequent CPS visit tainted the wonderful natural birth I did have. CPS closed the case, but I am totally embarrassed that it happened, even though I did nothing wrong. It's my dirty little secret, that I have finally begun telling some people. It seriously upset me for a long time.
post #33 of 80
No, but I am afraid of it happening! I am blessed that no one called when we were technically homeless...I had a friend talk to us about her concerns, and after talking to us decided she was glad she didn't call! I think it was easy to look at our circumstances and think that my DD must have been deprived (we had no home, bounced from place to place and did sleep in our car one night, and were beyond poor). But at the time, EVERYTHING we could get went to the care of our DD. She always had clean clothes and diapers, good food (even if that meant we went a bit hungry), and was safe.

I'll breathe a sigh of relief when we move into our new apartment next month. I don't think the basement we live in currently would really fly with CPS...it sure doesn't pass my own standards.
post #34 of 80
I haven't had one yet..

my mom's long term uav bf apparently threatened to call a few weeks ago though : due to our cleanliness.. I will admit that our home is far from perfect but it is absolutely not a health hazard. I figure that a sink full of dishes, a 1x/wk mopped floor and random 'art' are pretty typical of a [poor] family of five, with three under nine..

Since then, the kitchen has been completely clean (most of the time), he has NOT been allowed through our front door (I'm running out of excuses though ) and my mom, due to her passive/aggressive relationship with him, has been nearly cut-off from contact.

If you can't tell, I really don't want to be forced into defending our choices since they would prolly have a lot of problems with most of the decisions we make.

We do our best to fly under the radar though..
post #35 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
I'm not actually sure what the laws are on follow-up here. I know we never heard from them again. The woman said she'd come back on Friday (the initial visit was Wednesday), and she probably did. I was already at the hospital recovering from the c-section by that point. We left a note that we'd transferred. I assume they called the hospital to confirm I was there. That was the end of it on their end.

The thing is...even the screening means that CPS funds, staff and training are being tied up dealing with frivolous calls. Obviously, a mandated reporter is a different issue, and it sounds as though your dw, for example, gave all the info she had pertaining to the case. I'm no fan of CPS, but it's completely ridiculous that people get away with wasting the time of CPS staff, while their are children in horrific circumstances (the only ones that justify the existence of CPS in the first place, imo) slipping through the cracks. Many of those "cracks" are created by nonsense calls, imo.
I think that people who make obviously frivolous complaints should be billed for for the time they wasted. That alone would probably reduce the amount of referrals as well as fewer people using CPS as revenge, plus save CPS precious time and money.
post #36 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by angelpie545 View Post
I think that people who make obviously frivolous complaints should be billed for for the time they wasted. That alone would probably reduce the amount of referrals as well as fewer people using CPS as revenge, plus save CPS precious time and money.
Yeah - that's probably even better than laying charges, as charges would take up even more time and money that could be put to better use elsewhere.

I think it takes an incredibly screwed-up and vindictive worldview to make an invalid call to CPS.
post #37 of 80
I know two people that were investigated, both investigations were warranted in my opinion, but certainly not in theirs. Both times it involved parents that needed help, but would not take it from anyone. One family was living in a van, their kids were not eating well or bathing regularly. They had three kids, five months, two and three. The five month old was drinking formula that her mother was watering down so it could be stretched out. They were not bad people, just very young and very prideful. I understand pride and felt a lot of sympathy for them, but when it reaches the point where you can't feed your baby, pride becomes a luxury that is secondary to your child's health. They did not lose their kids. They were forced to accept help, or they would have lost their kids. That was four years ago and they still have not forgiven the relative (a grandparent) that turned them in and still insist that it was nobody's business.
The second case involved a dad that was spending all their family's money on cocaine and eventually had no food in the house, their electricity turned off, and two children that hadn't gone to school in weeks. They would accept help, but only in the form of cash, which no one was willing to give them. They didn't have their kids taken away either, though the father had to leave the home. Eventually the father got clean and reunited with the family. They eventually forgave the person that turned them in, but of course not CPS.
CPS has also visited them periodically after the father returned, including a visit after their third child was born. If that baby had gone home and the parents not cared for her properly, CPS would have been blamed for that. If there is a fairly recent history of severe problems, they should err on the side of caution.
I think that some people in CPS take their power and lord it over others, just as some cops do, some doctors do, as some teachers do, etc... I think that there is a lot of room for improvement within that system, but I also think that there are some heroic good-hearted people in that field and I know that these two families are better off for the intervention, though they would never admit it.
I have never been investigated and I hope that if that happens I get one of the decent case workers, it just seems to be the luck of the draw, unfortunately. My house is sometimes messy, my toddler is sometimes messy, it could happen. I also think that if someone files a frivolous or untruthful complaint, that the person should be dealt with severely. Held up to public scorn, jail time, you name it.
post #38 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daphneduck View Post
Eventually the father got clean and reunited with the family. They eventually forgave the person that turned them in, but of course not CPS.
CPS has also visited them periodically after the father returned, including a visit after their third child was born. I
Why does CPS still visit them? Have there been further complaints, or is it because the dad used to do cocaine?
post #39 of 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovinmum View Post
No, but I am kind of surprised. I am a total outcast with other mommies in my area.
Me too. I'm always waiting for my visit because of it. .:
post #40 of 80
They are not currently visiting, but when they were visiting, it was because of the cocaine usage and all the other problems that created.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Have you ever had a CPS visit?