Medical decisions? x-posted

[urchin_grey]

What steps would one take to prevent a non-custodial parent from making medical decisions without the permission of the custodial parent?

Back story... My sister and her BF split a few months ago. She and the baby are living here with us. She just got a subpoena stating that she must allow the baby's father visitation every other weekend until their court date to determine custody. What can she do to prevent him from having anything done to him, particularly circumcision and vaccination? The baby's father lives with his extended family who all want the baby to be vax'd and circ'd. My sister is terrified that they'll do it behind her back. They live 3 hours away so we can't just ride by every clinic in town, kwim? So what should she do?

TIA

[Dave2GA]

She needs a family law lawyer to get an order re legal custody and an order prohibiting the circ and vax without her permission. Circ will be easier than vax to get.

[PuppyFluffer]

Indeed, this is really a legal issue! Seek legal advice!

[ChristaN]

How old is this baby? Depending on his age, a circ may be a more complicated procedure than in a newborn and may require general anesthesia. The prior advice re getting a legal order seems the safest either way, though.

[urchin_grey]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

How old is this baby? Depending on his age, a circ may be a more complicated procedure than in a newborn and may require general anesthesia. The prior advice re getting a legal order seems the safest either way, though.

Yeah, he'll be 2 in August, so it would definitely have to be done under general anesthesia.

So far, she's called all the hospitals and clinics in their area... The hospitals want legal documentation and the clinics just want her to fax a letter. I figure a legal order will be better than just a letter from her though.

-sigh- I just no that there is no way that she'll be able to afford a lawyer though. She's not even getting any money from the baby's father as of yet.

[Fyrestorm]

Be careful, there are some completely unscrupulous doctors out there that will be more than happy to cut an unanesthetized child.

[eepster]

The PP are right about getting legal advice from a lawyer, and there are ways to get legal help with out money, but these will take time.

In the mean time, I would call around. First off find out what Drs and clinics have weekend hours (fortunately most offices have very limited weekend hours and only do sick visits, so there is a small built in obstical.) Then I would inform them all of the situation and give a description of the child (remember that it might be the grandma or grandpa taking him, and not just the dad.)

[perspective]

Originally Posted by urchin_grey

Yeah, he'll be 2 in August, so it would definitely have to be done under general anesthesia.

So far, she's called all the hospitals and clinics in their area... The hospitals want legal documentation and the clinics just want her to fax a letter. I figure a legal order will be better than just a letter from her though.

-sigh- I just no that there is no way that she'll be able to afford a lawyer though. She's not even getting any money from the baby's father as of yet.

I am sure someone in the intactivist community can help, either the group "Doctors Against Circumcision" Or the Lawyers agaisnt circumcision group. They helped pay for entire legal cases, I am sure they would not have a problem helping with the costs of some legal paper work.

[SleeplessMommy]

Has she talked with the people from ARCLAW?
http://www.arclaw.org/

There is also the notice of non-circumcision form, which is mostly used for infants. With a little modification, it could be used for a toddler. It would offer much less protection than a lawyer or judge could provide, however.
http://www.noharmm.org/Noncircform.htm

Here is one potential harm caused by general anesthesia:
http://www.adhdissues.com/ms/news/625351/main.html

I think a good lawyer will be very important

[urchin_grey]

Update

I don't think we have to worry anymore. They had court on Monday and the judge told both of them that neither could do ANYTHING without the other's permission. No vaccines, no circumcision, no doctor's visits, they can't even cut his hair without the other's permission. :

Dad even finally agreed to keep DNephew RF'ing in his carseat. The judge made him take a carseat lesson from a deputy, but of course, they only taught him how to install it FF'ing because DN is over 1yo and 20lbs. My sister and I convinced him that RF'ing is much safer though (he was being stubborn about it before because he just wanted to do the opposite).

[PuppyFluffer]

Lovely update!

I hope this judicial decision helps them to co-parent better together.