how is everyone doing?

[JillyD]

Hey ladies..thought i would start this thread to see how everyone is doing. It's been pretty quiet around these parts these days!!

How is life with your baby?
we are doing quite well...little Charlie is now 5 weeks old and is smiling all the time. those smiles melt my heart! I am loving it! it's bittersweet though because I already miss the little floppy newborn. how quickly they change huh?

Our day to day life is pretty mellow - i feel fortunate to have lots of one-on-one time with him. My DD is in preschool M-W which gives me some much needed down time. I keep feeling like i should be doing something productive but then just find it impossible to motivate.

I will say, however, that my house is a mess. there is a monster pile of laundry on the floor of my bedroom...it is quite comical actually. I should take a photo of it. At least it is clean laundry and not dirty laundry.

How are you doing physically?
Physically I feel really good. I haven't been exercising that much yet but am starting to feel like i should get out and do something good for my body. i take nice long walks a few times a week and have gone to the climbing gym a couple times (though, i feel VERY weak right now). I am looking forward to more nice weather. Summer time is coming!!! yes!!! I am still about 10-15 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight but I know from past experience that it will (eventually) come off. I get down about it sometimes though...

How are you doing emotionally?
Well, emotionally I am still having a hard time. I have plenty of good days but i still have days where I am pretty down which is frustrating. it seems like every time something stressful happens, the next day i feel really down. I am starting to worry that I have PPD but when i take those online quizzes i score really low so I guess it isn't anything to worry about yet. I guess my hormones are still kinda out of whack. ugh.

i also get sad about my little guy growing up so fast. we aren't going to have any more babies so it's been even more difficult than last time b/c I know I'm never goign to have something this small again. It is frustrating feeling this way! the whole point is for them to grow up big and strong!!

What else is going on?
Well, we had a pretty crazy weekend. Charlie got a fever of Friday night and it got high enough on Saturday to bring him to the ER. Long story short (and I know some of you know this drill), he had a spinal tap, multiple blood draws, urine analysis, and IV antibiotics. We were there until Monday. Everythign checked out clean but man, i feel SO BAD about bringing him there in the first place. I know it was the right thing to do considering but still...it sucked. his little body is just too small to have all those antibiotics pumping through them. Ick. The folks at the hospital were great though - they let me sleep with him every night and were supportive in every way. i am so glad to be out of there though...at one point, i thought we were going to be there for 3 weeks (when one of the cultures came back with a positive bacterial growth - turned out to be a contaminate). Anyway, that was our crazy story of the week.

how are all of you doing???

[birthangeldoula]

Life with baby
Life's been okay. Baby Kate is currently asleep in her crib as I type this. She only sleeps in there for naps during the day starting yesterday. Otherwise she sleeps in our bedroom either in the bassinet, in our bed, or in the swing. Last Thursday she started sleeping for 5-6 hour stretches at night between feedings. She takes on extra feedings in the early evening and then conks out around 9 p.m. and doesn't wake up until 5-6 hours later. It's been an adjustment to motherhood, and the first 2 weeks were the worst for me but we're adjusting.

How are you doing physically?
Doing pretty well. I've healed from my c-section and have been doing all the "normal" stuff that I was doing before baby.

How are you doing emotionally?
I have my good days and my bad ones. I had so many panic attacks in the first 2-3 weeks after kate was born but they've lessened as we've settled into some sort of routine. I get alot of help from DH so that's been my saving grace.

What else is going on?
I've just been trying to get used to not having my "freedom". I loved the days before baby when I could just run to the grocery store or have lunch with DH. Kate and I still get out 2 times a week to have lunch with DH, it's just alot harder to coordinate since I have to wake up, somehow shower and get dressed, and get her ready to go -- but we still manage to do it.

[YayJennie]

Life with baby
Wyatt is an amazingly easy baby. Not only is he absolutely adorable, but he hardly fusses, nurses very well, sleeps great, and is a joy to be around. I love being a mother. He's already starting to smile and laugh at me, and I can't get enough of him. I look forward to watching him grow, and even though he seems to be growing up so fast, I'm happy about it.

How are you doing physically?
I healed very quickly. By 2 weeks pp, I was pretty much back to 100%. Now, at 5 weeks pp, I am walking everyday, exercising regularly, my tear is completely healed, and I have no pains from anything. I feel fantastic, though my body is so different, I have trouble with body image. Breastfeeding is not making the weight "fall off" like it does for some, so I'm adjusting to this body.

How are you doing emotionally?
Besides body image issues, I'm doing pretty well. I'm happy my husband and I seem to be handling parenthood and keeping our relationship strong. I get frustrated with him sometimes, because I do 90% of the care for baby, but he is really amazing and takes care of the house, cooking, works and goes to school, and makes sure I get nap time. I get cranky if Wyatt is fussy, but I think I'm handling it pretty well for a first time mom. All in all, pretty good for having a baby 5 weeks ago!

What else is going on?
I'm on vacation from school for a few weeks, and happy to just enjoy baby time! We're moving to a bigger place next month, and just signed the lease which I am STOKED about. I can't wait to have more room! Besides that, I'm just doing the mom thing

[SaraC]

How is life with your baby?
Life is pretty much back to normal. Evelyn is a very happy baby with very minimal fussing which is totally different than my last baby so that is nice. She is thinking about smiling so we are all looking for the first smile.

How are you doing physically?
I am feeling great. I had a very short labor and birth with no tearing so I am all healed up. My DH was off the first 2 weeks and he took care of the kids while I rested and that made a huge difference. I hope to start exercising soon because I really want to get healthy.

How are you doing emotionally?
I feel really great. I was dealing with some depression during pregnancy but that seems to be resloved now. I worried a bit that it might creep up afterwards but so far I feel really great.

What else is going on?
It has been ok here. We are trying to get back on track with homeschool but honestly we probably won't get there for a few more weeks. Life with 4 kids is hectic but I think it is going to settle down once the baby doesn't need to nurse every hour in the evening and I can reclaim my school room from the mess. My mom is in the hospital right now with some heart issues and that is a little stressful and we live 10 hours away so I can't visit her like I want. But overall we are all doing ok which is nice.

[GoddessJ]

Life With Baby

Well, Today has been particulary hard, don't know if I am dealing with Colic or just Gas Pains, but Eamon is incredibly fussy with screaming fits (they even happen in his sleep). We were off to a great start, he was even sleeping through the night, now I can't figure out how to calm him at all. I'm not sure I am cut out for this mom thing after today.

How are you doing physically?
I felt great about my PP body for about a month, now physically I am healed and itching to workout or do something to start getting back into shape, but the little guy is so demanding these days that I can barely get food and go to the bathroom. I am also having a bit of pain and blood when having a bowel movement...I am guessing that I have hemmoroids or a fissure. I have a great libido, but my partner is overwhelmed with so much that he hasn't engaged with me physically at all, this is getting frustrating.

How are you doing emotionally?
I am starting to wonder if I am getting signs of PPD. Today I have felt at my wits end and want to run away from everything. I know that I need to ask for more help and to get breaks for showers and personal time. I am taking my placenta still but it doesn't seem to help this week. I've been crying a lot, when the baby screams I often cry too. It is hard for me to understand why he is so fussy when he has everything he needs and we had a natural home birth. Perhaps my mood is contributing. I am overly stressed with work, caring for him, and trying to be very supportive to my partner.

What else is going on?
We closed up the Venice house last weekend which was really hard, we fell in love there and concieved Eamon there, and it respresented a time of growth and prosperity. I have been alone with the little man for long stretches and finding that being a new mom is really, really hard for me. I feel like I would rather just go back to work and get away, especially after today when he has been crying and I can't even get him in the sling to go for a walk outside. Both of my partners are working like crazy, I'm thinking that I need to reevaluate the parenting style that I have choosen (attachment parenting) and perhaps break down and hire help or get a swing or bassinet (he's been sleeping in bed with us and I am holding him all the time)

[eewieew]

Originally Posted by GoddessJ

Life With Baby

Well, Today has been particulary hard, don't know if I am dealing with Colic or just Gas Pains, but Eamon is incredibly fussy with screaming fits (they even happen in his sleep). We were off to a great start, he was even sleeping through the night, now I can't figure out how to calm him at all. I'm not sure I am cut out for this mom thing after today.

How are you doing physically?
I felt great about my PP body for about a month, now physically I am healed and itching to workout or do something to start getting back into shape, but the little guy is so demanding these days that I can barely get food and go to the bathroom. I am also having a bit of pain and blood when having a bowel movement...I am guessing that I have hemmoroids or a fissure. I have a great libido, but my partner is overwhelmed with so much that he hasn't engaged with me physically at all, this is getting frustrating.

How are you doing emotionally?
I am starting to wonder if I am getting signs of PPD. Today I have felt at my wits end and want to run away from everything. I know that I need to ask for more help and to get breaks for showers and personal time. I am taking my placenta still but it doesn't seem to help this week. I've been crying a lot, when the baby screams I often cry too. It is hard for me to understand why he is so fussy when he has everything he needs and we had a natural home birth. Perhaps my mood is contributing. I am overly stressed with work, caring for him, and trying to be very supportive to my partner.

What else is going on?
We closed up the Venice house last weekend which was really hard, we fell in love there and concieved Eamon there, and it respresented a time of growth and prosperity. I have been alone with the little man for long stretches and finding that being a new mom is really, really hard for me. I feel like I would rather just go back to work and get away, especially after today when he has been crying and I can't even get him in the sling to go for a walk outside. Both of my partners are working like crazy, I'm thinking that I need to reevaluate the parenting style that I have choosen (attachment parenting) and perhaps break down and hire help or get a swing or bassinet (he's been sleeping in bed with us and I am holding him all the time)

jaiya - sounds like you're having a really hard time. i practice mostly ap with eden but found, as a single mama, that the true parenting style that i practice is ww - whatever works. i have a cosleeper, a swing, a little mat with tons of hang-y things, a bouncy seat, and she's happy with those things, thriving, and very attached to me. part of ap is having a happy mama too, and your little guy is going to love you no matter what. be gentle with yourself and understand that you don't have to fit into any particular mold to be ap...it's more theory than guidelines. you don't have to hold your baby 24/7 to be ap. your needs should be met as much as eamons's.

[eewieew]

nak

How is life with your baby?
pretty good. eden will be 10 weeks on monday. she's incredibly happy and alert, and super chatty
we sleep well (last night, she slept for 9 hours. 9. that's a first) and have generally developed a good routine. she does get pretty fussy at times, but she's very easily pacified and goes right back to being her usually smiley self.

How are you doing physically?
hmm. we're getting back into the swing of things but i'm very conflicted about my body.a few years ago i was really big and then i lost over 100 pounds. i keep reminding myself of that. what i am right now is nowhere near what i once was. the other thing i'm telling myself to feel better is that my body is merely the box that houses my consciousness. i want to take care of it, to have a strong box that will stand the test of time, but the box isn't THE most important thing.
the other thing is that i have reconnected with someone and there's a possibility that it could become sexual, and i'm so scared about that. i haven't been intimate with a man in a long time, and i've finally ( rediscovered my libido, but am so insecure about the shape i'm in. i've just gotta keep walking and hiking and dancing with the baby.

How are you doing emotionally?
dare i say, i'm doing awesome. besides the body conflict, i feel so centered right now. like my normal pre-preg self with this amazingly grounding baby. all the best parts of me are present, and she whips everything else into perspective for me. things that used to derail me are totally unimportant now.

What else is going on?
well...i mentioned a reconnection, that is happening. i went out last week, with a man i met at the farmers market last spring, and had a great time...there's mutual attraction so we're just sort of seeing what happens (we're both coming out of huge relationships so it's likely a friends w/benefits sort of thing, but that's all i really have time for anyway). even if nothing happens, i feel like i'm rejoining the land of the living, and that's nice.
the other thing is that my h and i are talking about sort of working on things in a very unorthodox manner (poly) but our relationship has reached a really awesome place, whether we decide to move forward with it or not. he is so in love with eden and we have great family time, even if she sleeps through it. it's like we remembered how to like each other. that feels good.

otherwise, i'm mostly just enjoying the fact that i didn't have to go back to work last week and that i'm so far able to work it so that i'm able to raise my kid. everyone i know says that motherhood becomes me.

[YayJennie]

Originally Posted by jdubbelewe

jaiya - sounds like you're having a really hard time. i practice mostly ap with eden but found, as a single mama, that the true parenting style that i practice is ww - whatever works. i have a cosleeper, a swing, a little mat with tons of hang-y things, a bouncy seat, and she's happy with those things, thriving, and very attached to me. part of ap is having a happy mama too, and your little guy is going to love you no matter what. be gentle with yourself and understand that you don't have to fit into any particular mold to be ap...it's more theory than guidelines. you don't have to hold your baby 24/7 to be ap. your needs should be met as much as eamons's.

I just wanted to agree with this 100%. I consider myself "AP", but we have a swing and a bouncer. I use them rarely, and don't put Wyatt in there unless I need a break, but I do think they're necessary for my sanity. Take care of yourself, and don't feel like you're "breaking down" because you need to put your son down for a bit. It won't ruin him, and giving yourself a little time out sounds like it would be good for you. Take care momma :

[dividedsky]

^^i know, sometimes w/my alex, he WANTS to be put down. sometimes he surprises me by mellowing out when i just let him do his thing...

being a mom is hard, 24/7 work. get a big obnoxiously-colored swing and see how it goes... and if you can hire someone to help with the baby, clean, cook a little.... do it!! esp since you're also trying to work.

as for me, every day gets better. i just can't wait until they can sit up at least + eat real food. no offense but i think having 1 babe after this would be a breeze, lol! but i'd never think that if i didn't have the twins now. this is all i know.

now i'm working on getting them to sleep in the cosleeper, and not on top of my giant nursing pillow/me. they're getting too big/squirmy!

[SaraC]

I just wanted to say to you first time mamas or any mamas new to "AP" that using a swing, bouncer, crib, bassinet, etc does not make you any less "AP". I have 4 kids and life would not get done unless I had a place to safely put Evelyn down and attend to my other kids or my needs. Do I ignore her and let her cry all day? Never. But sometimes mama needs to pee, the 2 year old has to eat, or the older girls need help with homeschool and Evelyn has to be put down. Sometimes I need a free hand to eat or tend to my others and the swing is there. Evelyn will happily swing or hang out in the bouncy for a while and if she gets fussy then she gets picked up. Then my other kids have to wait a bit for Mom's attention while Evelyn gets nursed, cuddles, or put in a carrier so she can join us in whatever is going on. But using those things does not mean I am not attending to her needs, which is the principles behind AP. It is all about balance and if using a swing while baby is happy allows you to eat, use the bathroom, veg out for few, or attend to your partner/other children then I don't see how that is not being AP.

Everyday will get easier and you will find that balance between your past life and life now. Life now is your new "normal" and it does get easier.

[JillyD]

hugs Jaiya...and things WILL get better. It takes time but you'll find a groove that works for you and your family. Be sure to take care of yourself and like the PP said, if you can work it, get some help. Even just a couple hours here and there can make a huge difference. Remember that there are HUGE demands on you right now - on top of the usual baby demands, you are also trying to work. It's hard.

As far as being AP, i agree with all the PP's. Remember that parenting is about you, not some definition of what an "AP" parent is suppose to be. You need to do whatever works best for you, your baby, and your family. Sometimes that might take a while to figure out. take a deep breath.

[GoddessJ]

Thanks everyone for all your support! My partner gave me the day yesterday to just focus on work and it was great, so I am feeling better.

[amybird]

Good thread...

Life is good! I'm not on this board as much as I would like to connect with you mamas, but me time is scarce and I have to use it wisely! Sleeping and eating come ahead of computer time.

Five weeks post partum, baby is prospering, and I feel good most of the time, too. A little teary when I'm over tired! I think DD is an easy baby, though I have nothing for comparison. She's hanging out in her bouncy chair for the moment, looking around with her beautiful big blue eyes .

We've had tons of out of town company. They've done so much wonderful cooking and cleaning, but I'll be glad when they go home and leave us to our little family. I'm a quiet, private person, and it's too much to have company all day every day in our small home. DH is at work, so today I'm entertaining my in-laws on my own...

Cheers to all!

[GoddessJ]

Amybird...What kind of bouncy chair did you get? I haven't seen one I like for newborns. I am considering getting one since he loves movement and using his legs.

[amybird]

goddessj - Boppy brand, a gift. Seems cozy and stable. Haven't put batteries in the music/vibration part. Good luck, J!

[baileyandmikey]

sorry too tired to post a long thread, but overall things are back to normal... baby is cosleeping, but I still wake up tired, he is one hungry little man, and is gaining weight like crazy@

[galincognito]

How is life with your baby?
we're doing pretty good; dd2 is 2 months old now and loves to talk. she makes this fabulous cooing/trilling kind of sound that i absolutely love. she seems to know that too because she'll start doing it as soon as she sees me! day-to-day is kind of whatever, it would be nice to have some sort of routine. dh is busy at work right now (school bus driver) with lots of charters for the spring field trips so every day is different. i get lots of time to rest with dd2 though since dd1 goes with dh on the bus (so nice!). sometimes i feel guilty for not doing something productive while they are at the bus but on the other hand, it's nice to eat my lunch at a leisurely pace with no kids hanging off me or someone wanting to eat half of it!

How are you doing physically?
for the most part, pretty good. i've healed from birth but the past week or so i've got this weird pain sort of in my butt/groin area; it's super hard to explain. but the result is that i cannot run. walking is fine but it's impossible to run which really sucks because my ultimate frisbee season starts next week so off to physio i go!

How are you doing emotionally?
it's weird, i feel like i've been more emotional the past week or so. not really sure why but overall, i'm doing okay.

What else is going on?
not really a whole lot else happening. i'm still waiting for dh to finish the basement renos (which started 15 months ago!! so that we can move dd1 into her new bedroom so that dd2 can go in the nursery. definitely glad that spring has finally made an appearance around here; we go to the park everyday and we went for a two hour walk the other night. it's great to be outside!

[Conchobhar]

How is life with your baby?
Each day, I'm falling more and more in love with my DD! She's 7 weeks old, smiling and starting to reach out for things (like Daddy's long hair, mwahaha!) It's so fascinating to see her thinking processes. This past weekend, we celebrated Beltane and had her naming ceremony at the same time. It was an awesome ceremony full of love with friends and family. Each person gave DD a small token, which we will put in a shadow box, along with the labor necklace that I wore during her birth.

How are you doing physically?
Personally, I think I'm healed. Though, there are still a few times where I'll cross my legs too fast and feel a twinge of muscle pain. I'm still bleeding (it's just slightly more than spotting), which is annoying. I still can't run without having an accident, but I'm back to walking 3 miles daily, which is WONDERFUL!

How are you doing emotionally?
MUCH better than those first 2 weeks. There are still evenings where I'll get a small panic attack, when I can feel my hormones taking another drop, but it's bearable. I'm still finding it hard to adjust sometimes. I'm still mourning the loss of putting my full attention on my SO. He's starting to act out by playing his computer games more and ignoring chores and baby cries. We're working on it, though.

What else is going on?
My work is allowing me to work part-time from home, which has been a small lift on our financial stress. I'm still dreading going back to work, but at least this way, I didn't have to go back as soon as I had first thought. I really with I could be a WAHM. I feel like I'm going to miss out on DD's life when I go back to work. Makes me sad.
I decided not to have my hernia repaired at this time. My mother decided to have knee-replacement surgery a week after I had my baby (yes, decided...she was told she could wait a few months with no problem, but she was tired of not getting any attention because of the baby), so I had to take care of her. Added to the fact that I'm just now feeling better and close to being back to normal, I don't want to intentionally make myself feel like poo.

[javilu]

bumping

(also hoping to remember to reply to this prompt soon myself, when not nak.)

[JMJ]

How is life with your baby?
Great. She figured out how to roll over off her changing mat (we put it on the floor), and I'm just delighted to see how she's changing every day. She gets fussy when she's tired and has a hard time shutting down. She's happy during the process as long as she is up on my shoulder/against my chest and I am walking, bouncing and singing simultaneously. Otherwise, she's not so happy. Daddy has yet to figure out how to do all that at the same time, so, it's basically Mommy's job. She then has a hard time transferring into bed with us at night once she's asleep, so I usually have to go through 3 cycles of putting her to sleep and trying to transfer her into bed. Each takes about 20 minutes.

That's really the only difficult part, though. She's generally cheerful when she doesn't need something. She's been happy to sit/sleep in the sling so that I can still sing at church so far. She's eating and sleeping well, and I've been able to get a good amount of sleep. We're also doing EC, so she goes in the potty most of the time. I think I've only had to change one real poopy diaper (I don't count 1 drop of poop) in the past week.

I've been learning how to do things one handed, and she is happy to spend some time playing on the floor. She loves laying on her changing mat and rolling off of it (at least until she finds herself face down on the floor). I'm thinking about getting another carrier because I don't feel comfortable taking both my hands off of her when she's in the sling. I'm thinking about one of those front/back packs that goes over both shoulders. She's usually happier being more upright.

How are you doing physically?
Warning TMI: I felt mostly better after a week, but I've still got hemorrhoids bothering me. Right now, my bum doesn't hurt all the time like it did a week ago, but now they're starting to bleed when I have a BM. I went on a nice hike yesterday. My DH goes on a 2 hr hike every Sunday, so I went on most of it and then stayed back with the baby for the last bit (the most intense part) so that I could potty her and nurse her. It was great timing. He was gone for about half an hour, and I was burping her when he got back to where I was.

How are you doing emotionally?
Taking my placenta really helped. Upping my dose when I had rough days at the beginning really helped. Then, when I had to start cutting back because I was running out, things got harder again, but I can't up my dose because I'm going to have to figure out how to live without it because I only have 4 pills left. I've been getting really frustrated with DH about the amount of time he spends with DD and me, but we had a great brainstorming secession on Saturday to figure out some things that we can do to make things better. I'm going to try to get more housework done while he's gone at work so that he doesn't have to spend his time on that. He's going to delegate some more of the work that he has to do for organizations outside of work. I'm going to hike with him when I can. He's going to try to leave one day a week open for family time. He's going to stay up and chat with me while I'm putting DD to sleep. He's going to look into telecommuting one day a week.

What else is going on?
We'll be visiting my family in a couple weeks, so she'll get to meet her grandpa and aunts and some extended family. DH is looking at job opportunities, which could be good,though change is hard for me. We have a friend who is all of a sudden moving under some complicated circumstances, and I'm having a hard time with that. Some good friends just got engaged, so exciting! I guess there's wonderful and difficult things going on all the time. It just seems like a lot at once.