Is nursing at 3 months really supposed to be THIS hard?

[sattygirl99]

DD fights... She smacks, she scratches, pinches... Pops off and then gets mad when it's not in her mouth anymore.

Is this normal? She rarely seems happy at the breast any more... We've actually taken a break from nursing (at least with the lact-aid) for the last 24 hours... She seems much happier with a bottle of EBM but I miss nursing... I WANT TO BREASTFEED darn it! I nursed her tonight with the LA and it went okay but not seamless.

What gives? Is this a strike? A phase? Normal for her age? Will this get better or should I call in the towel...? I want nursing to be enjoyable for us both and she just seems like she hates it!

Help?!

[starling&diesel]

Satty ... you have my sympathies, mama.

[AllyRae]

My little nursling (3 months old, and oddly enough, also on a lactaid) does the same thing. I think she's just waking up to the world, discovering that her body can do things and discovering that the rest of the world's a pretty interesting place to look at. Then she gets ticked off that when she looks around and sees the world and fiddles, the nipple falls out. Apparently she also believes the milk should follow her everywhere.

Funny though, she's been way energetic while nursing, so last night when she was trying to run a marathon (well, squirm a marathon. : ), I put her down on her tummy on the floor and she rolled over for the first time. Then I put her back on her tummy and she did it a couple more times. When she was done rolling and kicking, I picked her back up and she nursed to sleep. Any chance your little one is nearing a milestone too?

[AnnaNova]

i hear ya... i have a (tomorrow) three months old that has been feeding kinda like that for a long while. i wondered if it was a nursing strike, we did a lot of baths together, lots of skin to skin contact and such, it seemed to help a little, but hes still extremely fussy when he eats...
ive heard a lot of 'its a phase' but it cant be a phase for more than month... the weirdest part is that otherwise he's a very happy and content baby, the only time i hear him cry really is during his feedings and its very frustrating, its like 'what am i doing wrong?'
i think he gets very impatient once the flow starts slowing down so changing the breasts once he starts to fuss helps somewhat and also massaging the breast while he eats, although that one is kinda hard to do...
i wonder if anyone will have some good insight into this

[LindsG]

Satty- we seem to have all the same problems all at the same time! My DS has been doing the exact same thing and he's a little over 3 months. I used to think it was from my low supply but he does it with the lactaid in too and it's SO frustrating relatching him 20 times on one side per feeding session when you have to get the lact-aid tube in at the same time! He also smacks at my face and tugs and pulls and tries to look around. I'm hoping it's just a phase and they are just distracted. I wouldn't call in the towel though. I'm sure it's not that she hates it. I noticed my DS squirms all over and moves his head around when he takes a bottle too. I think he just wants to be playing and doesn't want to take a break to eat!

[alegna]

Those problems sound to me like a baby upset by the lower flow at the breast compared to bottles.

I would take a break from all bottles for a week or two.

-Angela

[sattygirl99]

Originally Posted by LindsG

Satty- we seem to have all the same problems all at the same time! My DS has been doing the exact same thing and he's a little over 3 months. I used to think it was from my low supply but he does it with the lactaid in too and it's SO frustrating relatching him 20 times on one side per feeding session when you have to get the lact-aid tube in at the same time! He also smacks at my face and tugs and pulls and tries to look around. I'm hoping it's just a phase and they are just distracted. I wouldn't call in the towel though. I'm sure it's not that she hates it. I noticed my DS squirms all over and moves his head around when he takes a bottle too. I think he just wants to be playing and doesn't want to take a break to eat!

Yup, she acts the same with a bottle!

Everyone I've talked to says it's perfectly normal and to push through it... Here's to hoping they are right!!!

[Cory]

Oh, I can't believe this! I was just coming here to post this same exact thing! My girly is nearly 3 months old and doing all these same things (we're doing the Lact-Aid as well). She has NEVER had a bottle until last night. I decided to try a bottle, just to see what she would do. She still wiggled around, but not as much as at the breast. She was trying to look around more. That made me wonder if she just wants to see everything.

I think though that maybe the flow at the breast is just too slow for her liking. If that's the case, I just don't know what to do-I really don't want to give up nursing-but I don't want to force her to keep nursing if she's hating it. I just don't know what to do!

[starling&diesel]

Hey Satty ... could it be that your little one has had enough to eat when she does this? I know the popping ON part might make it seem like she wants more, but maybe she's just messing around?
My DD does the same thing, and has never had a bottle other than once when we were out and forgot our SNS (and that was a month ago). I think it's a phase ... learning to love the world. Usually she does this after a small amount of supplement, just enough to stave off hunger. Then her curiosity gets the better of her. I just stop the feed and try again in ten minutes. I'm letting her decide how much supplement she wants, and trying not to get hung up on it.

[tessie]

Bubs gets fidgety like that when she needs winding. Could it be that?

But they do get more fidgety and distracted as they develop. It will pass. I found/find lying down feeding to be the best method of ghetting her to feed without being fidgety and distracted.

[sattygirl99]

Originally Posted by Cory

Oh, I can't believe this! I was just coming here to post this same exact thing! My girly is nearly 3 months old and doing all these same things (we're doing the Lact-Aid as well). She has NEVER had a bottle until last night. I decided to try a bottle, just to see what she would do. She still wiggled around, but not as much as at the breast. She was trying to look around more. That made me wonder if she just wants to see everything.

I think though that maybe the flow at the breast is just too slow for her liking. If that's the case, I just don't know what to do-I really don't want to give up nursing-but I don't want to force her to keep nursing if she's hating it. I just don't know what to do!

Push through it mama! They outgrow this stage (so I'm told!).

A friend of mine said this to me today...
'Just remember....you're doing the best thing for your child. Even if your child fights what's best for him/her, YOU'VE got to be the one to still insist on the best. Example: you know what's best for Caleb....as far as his dietary needs/insulin is concerned. He probably fights those ... He probably fights these boundaries, and would not choose what's best for him if it were left up to him. In the same way, Bella sometimes fights what's best for her. She doesn't know any better. This is where your persistance and direction comes into play! And yes, what your experiencing IS normal.'

She has a HUGE point... WE know what's best for them... Breastfeeding is best! It's the best choice for your baby but she doesn't know it!

[ewe+lamb]

Hugs to you all going through this - goodness - we have alot of experienced moms with LAs - I just wanted to add that your babies don't hate nursing - they really don't, it's that they are frustrated, at 3 months the babes have a growth spurt and along with a low milk supply they may be doubly frustrated with the flow of milk, maybe to get this you could get a wider tube for the LA I know you can get them for the SNS - then slowly get them back onto the smaller tube to eventually get them off the LA, I'm sure you all know that it's a bit of a vicious circle, but with support and persistance it can be done and you'll start to enjoy your breastfeeding relationship with your baby, go to LLL meetings, post here, get as much support from everyone as is possible.

[sattygirl99]

Originally Posted by ewe+lamb

Hugs to you all going through this - goodness - we have alot of experienced moms with LAs - I just wanted to add that your babies don't hate nursing - they really don't, it's that they are frustrated, at 3 months the babes have a growth spurt and along with a low milk supply they may be doubly frustrated with the flow of milk, maybe to get this you could get a wider tube for the LA I know you can get them for the SNS - then slowly get them back onto the smaller tube to eventually get them off the LA, I'm sure you all know that it's a bit of a vicious circle, but with support and persistance it can be done and you'll start to enjoy your breastfeeding relationship with your baby, go to LLL meetings, post here, get as much support from everyone as is possible.

LA doesn't have larger tubes.

For someone like me, we'll never be LA free. I have suspected IGT which is why I have low supply. I will need to supplement until we wean (which is fine with me!).

I took advice from someone (I dunno if it was here or on DS) and when she started acting that way, I took her off completely. She was fine after a moment (she initally cried because she was no longer sucking!). I think she's trying to tell me she's getting full... She took 2.5 oz vs 4 oz and was happy as a clam and didn't spit up! So maybe she's really just getting full but doesn't quite know how to stop because she likes the fact that she's sucking!

[mom2geminibaby]

My DS did this at 3 mos around the same time he started drooling and teething. I now look back and realise that he just wasn't hungry as much as I thought and was just tired. His eating habits changed so much and I always had to remind myself that I need to adjust to him not make him stay the same forever. Is she showing signs of teething?

[sattygirl99]

Oh goodness yes! She's drooling like CRAZY!

I noticed her eating patterns have changed too... And sometimes it's so hard to tell! Like just now, she ate for a bit and then started throwing a FIT and screaming... I thought maybe it was just slowing down for her because she had taken maybe 1/4 of her supplement (which was about 3 oz, normally she takes almost all or all of it) but I finally gave up and took her off and she's now playing on the floor with DS... I feel bad cuz she threw a fit at the breast for a min or 2 before I realized she didn't want it! Oops!

The joy of a BFing infant!!

[mom2geminibaby]

Originally Posted by sattygirl99

Oh goodness yes! She's drooling like CRAZY!

I feel bad cuz she threw a fit at the breast for a min or 2 before I realized she didn't want it!

Sounds like what we went through...it gets better, especially once the teeth come through. Hang in there!

[sattygirl99]

Thanks mama!

The only thing that I worry about is not giving her enough supplement... She cries for a min or 2 after she comes off and then she's fine... If she were truly still hungry, she'd continue crying... Right?

I honestly think she was over-eating (4 oz in the LA plus 1/2 to an oz from me, maybe more)... I've been offering about half the LA (so 2 to 2.5 oz) instead and she seems okay once the milk hits her tummy. I just feel bad that she cries for a min or 2 first... She seemed happier though, less gassy and not spitting up so much... I guess I'm just paranoid... The LC says to just let her take however much she wants but I'm disagreeing with her lately because DD will just keep going... and going... and going... I could make a 7 oz supplement and she'd take it all if I let her!

She's completely refusing one side though... I'm pumping it but it's annoying to nurse the same side every feeding. My nipple on that side is taking a beating it's not used to!

[LindsG]

Well, you certainly are not alone in this. It has gotten worse for us the past few days. I think it could be the teething thing. Us low supply moms have a habit of blaming every fussy spell on the baby not getting enough to eat and its so hard not to think that. My DS would also take as much as I'd offer to him but hes been spitting up more lately so he's probably getting too much.

Also lately my ds will only sleep with me or if i nurse him to sleep. He used to sleep great in his swing. Just now, he seemed hungry so I tried feeding him with the LA and he fussed and squirmed and smacked me and pulled my hair and after about 1/4oz of supplement, promptly fell asleep. OK...guess he wasn't hungry.

I'm so glad i'm not the only one going through this or i'd be really tempted to give up.: It's been one problem after another since the beginning. I decided I was meant to become a LC since I think I've experienced almost every prob there is cept oversupply

[starling&diesel]

I agree with you, Satty...when my DD does that, I'm sure it's because she's full. We wouldn't be worrying about it if we were just plain breastfeeding.
I think because we've gone through the work of putting together the supplemental system, we get frustrated when our little ones don't 'finish.' I know I do, anyway. And with donor milk, every drop is precious, so we don't want to waste it. It's very hard to relax with this process. So hard. I've been putting in no more than two ounces, and that seems to be working well through our similar episodes.
I think your LC is a little off the mark ... the flow of the breast eventually stops, so why shouldn't our LA/SNS?

[Cory]

I have another question for all you mamas going through this: My dd pretty much sleeps through her feedings. She start's off awake, but pretty soon ends up asleep-and nurses while asleep. Do your lo's sleep through each feeding? My dd can take up to 45 minutes to eat 3-4 ounces from the Lact-Aid. She is about 12.5 pounds (10 1/2 weeks old now-she as 8 pounds, 2 ounces at birth and regained her birth weight by 2 weeks). Her weight gain has def. slowed down in the last few days. She is sleeping more and eating less. I am really getting stressed and worried here. Maybe I should just give up and do bottles? I don't know what to do.

She's had diarrhea the last day or 2, and her poop is green. I've realized that all of this started around the time I started eating strawberries a lot (been on sale at the store) so I'm going to stop eating those just to see what happens.

*sigh*