so what have others called demeaning?

[octobermom]

Some view child restraints as demeaning, others say a child who is still nursing at say 2 that is demeaning ect what things that you view as normal and even best for your child has others suggest are actually demeaning?
Me
1) cloth diapers
2) diapers of any kind on my non potty trained 3.5-4.5 year old
3) her nursing "too long"
4) me keeping her hair short so she doesn't constantly chew chunks of it out..
5) toddler leash (you knew I'd say it )
6) the sling
7) a play pen (pack N play)


Deanna

[MusicianDad]

Hmm, well I use to put little bells on DD's shoes when we went out, once she got past the darting stage and was able to follow one simple rule... Stay where I can hear you. I've had people call it demeaning. I call it better then making a 5 year old stay in my limited field of vision, safer too.

Velco on shoes over a certain age, we did that because DD lagged behind in learning to tie her shoes and felt embarrassed having to ask DH or I to tie her shoes for her when she was 7.

There's probably more, but I can't seem to think of one right now.

[sisteeesmama]

SO far no one has accused me to my face or that I have heard of of doing something that was demeaning to my dd.....lucky I guess!

[Lindsay1234]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Hmm, well I use to put little bells on DD's shoes when we went out, once she got past the darting stage and was able to follow one simple rule... Stay where I can hear you. I've had people call it demeaning. I call it better then making a 5 year old stay in my limited field of vision, safer too.

Bells on shoes is demeaning?! Crazy.

[soccermama]

How is a sling demeaning???

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by soccermama

How is a sling demeaning???

I was told I was basically squishing up my child it would like make her crippled and that was demeaning.. Other think of it as resrainting and put it in the same catagory as say a stroller or child harness so if a child that could walk is in it its demeaning and cruel. The sling brought me the most comments eaither REALLY positive ones or real negitive.. Mind you this was several years ago I probably stoped slinging for size and comfort reasons back in 2004ish slings have since made a big comeback..

Deanna

[GoBecGo]

When DD was 15 months and in our meitai a woman came and told me she'd never be able to walk because i never let her off my back. I put her down and she promptly ran off and i stood and looked into that woman's eyes and said nothing for what must have felt a VERY long time to her....

Lots of people have lots of opinions on things. Demeaning can mean just "behaved in a certain way", it doesn't have to mean a debasement of dignity or social standing. Perhaps those who say things that we think are normal parenting practices are "demeaning" are just unclear on d meaning. sorry i couldn't help it...

[Storm Bride]

hmm...had a few people tell me that ds1 was going to grow up with gender confusion issues because he had long hair, and I was disrespecting his manhood (yes - manhood - he was 4!) by not getting it cut. *sigh*

That's about it, though.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by Lindsay1234

Bells on shoes is demeaning?! Crazy.

Apperently I was treating her like a cat...

DD loved the bells BTW. She though they were great fun, as she could make music while walking.

[tallulahma]

hmm,ive got a list

-nursing dd1 past two (my parents)
-wearing dd1 on my back past walking age (my parents)
-wearing dd1 in a sling at 2 (creepy invasive lady at subway)
-"letting" dd1 have wild messy hair & mismatched clothes (my parents)
-not feeding solids until almost a year (starving & depriving them)

[Daphneduck]

I can only think of one thing that someone referred to as being demeaning. I have a friend that thinks that cribs are like cages and because of that, she feels as if they are demeaning. She told me that she hated to see my DD in a crib because she felt as if it were humiliating to DD, even though DD could not express it. My in-laws told me numerous times that swaddling DD would hamper the proper development of her limbs. They also felt that the sling would prevent her from learning to walk well, they maintained this stance even after DD started walking at 10.5 months.

[paquerette]

Well, I don't know if it was quite demeaning, but my MIL insisted that I was depriving and damaging my newborn because she hadn't been outside yet at two days old, and we were mostly staying in bed, not out and around the house.

[eclipse]

Well, we've all heard the leash thing, so I'll skip that

I've heard EC described as demeaning and damaging.

[Storm Bride]

errr...I don't EC, myself...but I fail to see how that could possibly be more demeaning or degrading than peeing and/or pooping one's pants? Do we consider using a toilet to be more degrading than soiling oneself for an adult? (I don't think using diapers is degrading, either - I just don't get this one at all.)

[eclipse]

I don't either, but I've heard it!

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by eclipse

I don't either, but I've heard it!

Same. I don't get how it's degrading, though the last time I talked to anyone mainstream about EC they were under the impression that an EC baby is always going in their pants anyway.

Nobody called it demeaning, but when I took DS out yesterday someone wanted to know why DS was wearing a onesie and no shoes. Apperently your 5 month old is supposed to be decked out in all the latest fashion, shoes included despite the fact that DS can't walk yet.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Nobody called it demeaning, but when I took DS out yesterday someone wanted to know why DS was wearing a onesie and no shoes. Apperently your 5 month old is supposed to be decked out in all the latest fashion, shoes included despite the fact that DS can't walk yet.

You get it more because you're a man, too. I've seen it with both my ex and dh, who were great dads (my ex was a terrible dad later, but wonderful when ds1 was a baby/toddler). Most (not all!) people assumed that if I left off a hat, shoes or jacket, it was because I knew my baby didn't need them. But, when my ex or dh did so, the assumption was that they weren't competent to take care of a baby. Tedious.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by Storm Bride

You get it more because you're a man, too. I've seen it with both my ex and dh, who were great dads (my ex was a terrible dad later, but wonderful when ds1 was a baby/toddler). Most (not all!) people assumed that if I left off a hat, shoes or jacket, it was because I knew my baby didn't need them. But, when my ex or dh did so, the assumption was that they weren't competent to take care of a baby. Tedious.

Yeah, that makes sense. Unfortunately.

[purplemoon]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Same. I don't get how it's degrading, though the last time I talked to anyone mainstream about EC they were under the impression that an EC baby is always going in their pants anyway.

Nobody called it demeaning, but when I took DS out yesterday someone wanted to know why DS was wearing a onesie and no shoes. Apperently your 5 month old is supposed to be decked out in all the latest fashion, shoes included despite the fact that DS can't walk yet.

That always irked me too. I would constantly get looked at when my infants had no shoes. They never had shoes until they walked.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

My sister over the whole leash ordeal.

The only other time was when I made my son a pink bunny costume for halloween, and my husband said it was demeaning. I told him I was going to make him one next!