Queer Conceptions - May 2009 - Page 12

[DJK]

New Here

Aloha!

My dp and I live in Hawaii and after 7 months of charting and preperation, as well as celebrating our first year married two weeks ago, we are in our first TWW:

We are very excited to be on this path and very nervous. We hope to be able to support all those out there on the same journey! :

~The Girls From Hawaii

[Snapdragon]

deleted post hi

[KSDoulaMama]

Originally Posted by DJK

My dp and I live in Hawaii and after 7 months of charting and preperation, as well as celebrating our first year married two weeks ago, we are in our first TWW:

Exciting! My DW and I are in our first TWW also.

[KSDoulaMama]

We tested this morning, 9dpo... still early but we figure we'd rather know if we can and it's early enough that the negative won't bum us out. Of course... it was negative. Still waiting. I hate the suspense!

[CrunchySmurf]

So, AF arrived. That was disappointing.

And now... now, we're taking a break. We've agreed to re-assess after a month off, but it was a reluctant agreement and I think we're looking at a much longer break.

[osker]

CrunchySmurf, breaks can be hard, but sometimes they can be nice too!
good luck with yours, I hope it's going to be one of the nice ones!

[lemurmommies]

Originally Posted by DJK

My dp and I live in Hawaii and after 7 months of charting and preperation, as well as celebrating our first year married two weeks ago, we are in our first TWW:

Welcome to the thread! I hope your stay here is really short!

Originally Posted by KSDoulaMama

We tested this morning, 9dpo... still early but we figure we'd rather know if we can and it's early enough that the negative won't bum us out. Of course... it was negative. Still waiting. I hate the suspense!

The suspense is truly terrible, isn't it? But 9DPO to totally way too early to be definitive. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for 'ya!

Originally Posted by CrunchySmurf

So, AF arrived. That was disappointing.

And now... now, we're taking a break. We've agreed to re-assess after a month off, but it was a reluctant agreement and I think we're looking at a much longer break.

I'm sorry. I hope that you can get back in the game sooner rather than later.

[mommies_2_be]

Hey guys,

Are all of you lucky enough to have a partner who supports you in having a child? I've been struggling with my partner's fears for over a year now. She is completely possessed by anxiety over what having a child would do to our relationship, our finances, and our life. It's nothing but doom and gloom for her. She can't seem to see it any other way. She's always present at the IUI's and all the bloodwork, but then she flip flips and completly wigs out. She becomes somewhat of a raging maniac and is extremely emtionally abusive to me. She has told me countless times how happy she is that I miscarried. She thinks I just need to get over it and move on, because she will never ever want a child. I can't take much more of this. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

[indigoscot]

mommies_2_be - my dp and i discussed having kids probably on our second or third date. after we moved in together we had more discussions and figured out a timeline and who would carry first etc.. i will admit i never thought i would settle down OR have kids but once we had talked about it i realized that i did. from the time we started dating to having our son was 4 years.

as for your situation, firstly, i can't believe your partner told you she was happy about your m/c!!! i'm sorry to have to say this but it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship to me at all. my opinion is you need to have a long talk and figure out what path you want to take - with children or not. and if your partner is adamant that she doesn't want kids well, you have some decision making to do. again and good luck!

g

[srjb]

I am in agreement with Indigo. Disagreements over child-rearing philosophies are enough to strain most relationships, and disagreeing over having children does not sound good. And, nobody should stand for emotional abuse. So if that is what you are experiencing, I think you have a lot to think about. Whether one wants to have children at all is not something I think either party should compromise on. If one parent does not want to have children, that relationship is probably not going to be a healthy one in the long run. Better to figure all of that out now before bringing a kid onto the scene. Good luck!

[milletpuff]

mommies_2_be,

I am so sorry, that sounds incredible harsh. If my partner really did not want a child, that would be a deal-breaker for me, even if everything else was sparkling and perfect. If there was emotional abuse on top of that, well, as my old drag queen friend used to say: I'd be canceling my subscription to that magazine because there are just too many *issues*.

I'm sorry for your loss and I'm so sorry you have to go through it alone like that.

[DJK]

Keep The Hope

Originally Posted by mommies_2_be

Hey guys,

Are all of you lucky enough to have a partner who supports you in having a child? I've been struggling with my partner's fears for over a year now. She is completely possessed by anxiety over what having a child would do to our relationship, our finances, and our life. It's nothing but doom and gloom for her. She can't seem to see it any other way. She's always present at the IUI's and all the bloodwork, but then she flip flips and completly wigs out. She becomes somewhat of a raging maniac and is extremely emtionally abusive to me. She has told me countless times how happy she is that I miscarried. She thinks I just need to get over it and move on, because she will never ever want a child. I can't take much more of this. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

I wish I had good advice for you in this situation. My wife and I have been preparing for this for over a year, mentally that is. We both held our concerns but I think that we have found jumping over the cliff together has always landed us someplace perfect. I hope you find that too.

[srjb]

6dpiui (almost 7) and dw felt a repeating poking sensation in her uterus for several hours. Different from the "pulling" sensation she felt last month (which is good since that month ended without a pregnancy!). I hope this is implantation. She is also much more moody than last month (but who knows what that means)...

[milletpuff]

srjb come on over to the June thread! I will update you there (if it's not already correct...)