bec - does she need a different kind of program maybe? It sounds like she is really struggling, if she's far behind, and having a lot of work to do every night on top of it. She's 8, right? That just seems like an awful lot for her. My oldest has ADHD, and some things were so hard for him that he shut down, procrastinated, and seemed to be just pushing my buttons as a defense mechanism because he was frequently exhausted from feeling like he was dumb because he couldn't just get it done. We seemed to always be lecturing him that if he'd just stop goofing around and do it, it wouldn't take so long, but he just couldn't "just do it." Breaking assignments into small (even tiny) pieces, making sure he had lots of physical activity to help his body relax, and working with the teachers to make his workload manageable were all helpful. Sometimes I think if it seems that hard for a kid something extra (like my kid's ADHD) may be going on. Maybe instead of a bunch of homework she could work with a tutor one day a week?
I have wondered about ADD/ADHD with her, though. No one else has mentioned it anywhere else, but I wonder if that isn't because she isn't disruptive. I guess the inability to concentrate is so inconsistent and doesn't seem to follow any kind of pattern (other than it is guaranteed when she is tired, but that's not surprising), that I have a hard time being able to see it, much less put a name to what's going on with her. And, the thing is, she is already in Speech and OT (for some small motor control issues she has), that I feel like they would have said something if they felt that was a contributing factor.